Selfish

sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
HJFinAZ: But that is only "my" experience..





I have sat with my creator for hours on end about this
subject. I know what needs to be done. I am usually
not too stubborn. However on this subject God and I
bump heads. I know I will have to answer to HIM in the
long run. Maybe I will find the forgiveness on my death
bed, only God knows.



pretzelman Las Vegas, Nevada USA
HJFinAZ: "If", you forgive him, you forgive yourself..



Have to disagree with that HJ. I will never forgive my father for what he did t me. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE FORGIVEN FOR in that situation, so I won't forgive me by forgiving himscold
Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA
HJFinAZ: I was desperate. I didn't get into relationships/marriages, I took hostages..

All that has been many years ago, I have learned a few things "about me" over the years. One of the most important things I have learned, until I could live with and love myself, I could not live with or love another..

Today, I would not be willing to trade my place in life with anyone.


More power to you. I guess the "desperate" sound - to my ears - of people who habitually proclaim their own independence and lack of needing anyone else comes from the sense that perhaps they're dealing with their own loneliness through aggressive self-suggestion or even some elements of self-delusion. No, I'm not accusing you of that, Pat - and you are a more persuasive and eloquent promoter of this concept than most - but when I think of some people I've known who've expressed similar viewpoints...I'm thinking of my friend, now, who is suffering from a difficult breakup...that telling oneself in effect that "I am an island" is more palliative than true.wave hug
sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
pretzelman: Have to disagree with that HJ. I will never forgive my father for what he did t me. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE FORGIVEN FOR in that situation, so I won't forgive me by forgiving him




I am in the same boat Pretzie. hug



pretzelman Las Vegas, Nevada USA
sassy49senior: I am in the same boat Pretzie.



Yes.....that's why O posted it. I read the response to what you said about your bosssad flower
HJFinAZ Sun CIty, Arizona USA
Ambrose2007: More power to you. I guess the "desperate" sound - to my ears - of people who habitually proclaim their own independence and lack of needing anyone else comes from the sense that perhaps they're dealing with their own loneliness through aggressive self-suggestion or even some elements of self-delusion. No, I'm not accusing you of that, Pat - and you are a more persuasive and eloquent promoter of this concept than most - but when I think of some people I've known who've expressed similar viewpoints...I'm thinking of my friend, now, who is suffering from a difficult breakup...that telling oneself in effect that "I am an island" is more palliative than true.


I do not need anyone else, I would like to have another.. But that is just me.

Present circumstances in life, caring for my elderly mother, I feel it would be unfair to any woman bringing her into my life at this time as I would not have the time to give her the devotion I would want to give her.

Also, I think it would be unfair to mom..
HJFinAZ Sun CIty, Arizona USA
pretzelman: Have to disagree with that HJ. I will never forgive my father for what he did t me. I HAVE NOTHING TO BE FORGIVEN FOR in that situation, so I won't forgive me by forgiving him


From what little I know about your deal Ship, I agree with you that you had no control at the time.

I speak only of the "feelings" we hold in rather than letting them go.

I always have and always will say, "feelings" are not right or wrong, they just are..
mike69spain Almuñécar, Andalucia Spain
HJFinAZ: "THE ONE", looks at you and says, "I would rather be happy than be with you".. How do you feel????

Who is the selfish one??


I would wonder why we were there in the first place, if this person came there with me only to say this.

Apart from being disturbed with it - trying to figure out what made her make that statement there and then; I would ask her what she mean with being happy, and why I am an obstacle for her to achieve that.

I am very selfish; I would not want to spoil any time from my life with someone that does not like to be with me.
tina_olson Westby, Wisconsin USA
Ambrose2007: No offense, Tina, but that was a lot more than a mere "sign." You would've saved yourself 19 wasted years if you'd simply taken him at his word, I'm thinking...


Yes I know that Ambrose-but was young and very innocent then and very low self esteem-first boyfriend--put myself through alot of years of hell but also got 2 beautiful daughter's that I wouldn't trade for the world....... teddybear



jampet wexford, Westmeath Ireland
I would consider him selfish to say such a thing to me, without a thought for my feelings.
i would most certainly not be selfish enough to wish him to stay with me in a 'life of unhappiness' and would be gone so fast my feet wouldn't touch the ground( thanking my lucky stars!!). i'm selfless me!!angel rolling on the floor laughing



jampet wexford, Westmeath Ireland
tina_olson: To add to that--was very young then-nowdays I would have kicked him to the curb in a heartbeat...

phew!! was about to give out to you, till you updated thatlaugh !! sorry you had to go through it but glad you gave your self esteem a kick up the a&&!!grin
Konigsberg Jurassic Park (Site B), Nova Scotia Canada
Marseilles: If you cannot be happy alone you'll never be happy, period.



What a brilliant,young man!bowing



as for your psychological stupefaction,biker! motorcycle

"I would rather be happy than be with you".. How do you feel????

Who is the selfish one??

My feelings:
"I feel great .... one mistake is out of my life. Actually I would even thank him."

Selfish!!!! Hmmm ... He isn't the one, that's for sure wine

Ride safe hug




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