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Ok so0 yes Ive experienced that as well and im not really a "big" girl im curvy. But point blank..guys like what they like..some guys dont like big women and others do. SO if they skip over ur page..either they dont find you attractive or they just aren't into big women. Something you and all other big women have to except. I mean hell, some guys would consider me big based on what kind of women they like. Some like little twig girls, others like girls with some meat and others like girls with a lot of meat. Im sure there is guys that do look at ur page and who will like you for you. SOme people also go strictly by looks too and not personality. Everyone's different..but as luscious said..I wouldnt lose any sleep over it!

Couldna said it better!

But also, as far as myself is concerned, I make a point of reading the WHOLE profile. I get a better understanding of the person by reading what they have to say tan by the pic alone.
I've passed up lots of profile just because the person's writing told me I should just stop right there and then. Some of them are actually very funny too!

The truth will set you free....


But first it will piss you off!


These are words that I learned a very long time ago in personal growth courses.

I also learned that for the majority of obese people they actually hide their feelings behind their weight. I was once very heavy and it was due to emotions.

So for me the fact that I do not find an obese man attractive is not about weather or not they are a good person inside...it's about how they deal with their emotions. I have worked many years on my own personal growth and I am a whole woman. That's what I bring to a relationship. I am also bringing years of experience of creating win wins, open communication, and 100% responsibility for my part of the relationship. I expect the same from the partner that I choose to have in my life. When dealing with weight issues, from my experience working through it myself and working with others there are hidden issues under the weight. I want a partner that has done the emotional work and is ready for me. I am not a "Twiggy" nor am I a size 0.

I'm having a great deal of trouble understanding all the different terms "Curvy" "Full Figured" "Proportional"
"Big Beautiful" "Toned" "Volumtuous".. etc etc etc ....
Do they all mean the same thing ?

Sorry, but why can't we just call a spade a spade ?

OH OH...I know that feeling....lol It was when I almost settled for less than what I deserve. A very very down point where I ended up "latching" on to the first man who showed an interest in me. I'd say he was close to 300 lbs. and it was all out front. Sex was very difficult & we only ever once did it missionary style.

I prefer a guy with some muscles, but not overboard like professional body builders, but someone that when I'm held, I'm held by strong arms which helps me feel secure & safe.

Excellent post, Lush. Very well said. Ditto.

In my case I like big and beautiful lady but as long is not too much big.
Apart from too much money, anything else too much is not good

I find it very strange, when women say, repeatedly, that they should be loved for what is on the inside and not the outside.

Why would you want a man to not love your looks, whether you are big, or small? I personally want a man who will compliment my brown eyes, or long to taste my lips, as well as love the person i am, when i am with them.

Physical beauty may fade away, but i think it's insecure, to ask that a man loves your personality alone. If you think your body is not worth loving, or it's not a reason ( among others), for a man to find you attractive, then you need to hit that gym, and boost your confidence.

Take me as i am, not a part of me. I come as a package.

As long as good advise is given with love, i don't mind my man telling me to watch what i eat, like he shouldn't mind me telling him, to learn to put his dirty laundry, where it should be, or clean after his own mess. That is not changing the other person, but working to help function together, as a couple, with love. If a man loves me when i am small, it would be unfair to suddenly start eating all day, without a care in the world, expecting he'll be there, for eternity. This would be selfish, and no different to being with a sweet person, who suddeny turns into a horrible, violent human being. Should we remain with a person who suddenly decides excercising is not important, and get rid of the one who turned violent, later in a relationship? I think not! They are both the same to me!

Please, don't bring the condition/ addiction/ illness issue into this. My hypothesis is based on choices, not pathology. Respect your body, your partner's and the realtionship you have. Be good to yourself.

One of my sisters just sent me a message, asking if i had made up my mind, on joining a gym with her. I will do it, because i love her, and myself. We will do it together.

Since the 'crushing' experience, I only hooked up with men who were around 6ft and very toned

Which means I am under pressure. Can't expect the guy to be fit and toned, and not me. So this little lady has some work to do!

Hi, TOTALLY AGREE i mean i just dont get it, you talk to them then they meet you and tell you they dont have time for you, just because were beautiful and curvy doesnt mean we have no feelings.. im looking forward to seeing what people have to say about this!!! im 23 and a lovely size 20 - 22

Just because you have feelings, as a curvy woman, doesn't mean that men owe you anything for it. They are either attracted to you, or not.


We all have feelings, some like us, some don't.

Sorry, but unless as some people here have stated, you ahve a medical condition which I doubt, it is extremely unhealthy that you are such a size, and at your age. But Australians are getting bigger, and I will be blunt here, as I am an Aussie, too. We have one of the highest percentage of obesity in the entire world, if not the highest.

Big is generally NOT beautiful. I am not knocking you as a person. But the fat content on the body. The fat covers and chokes your heart, your liver is suffocated, and your heart needs to work SOOO much harder to feed all the blood vessels that nourish your fat cells. And you have so much extra to carry around you every moment of the day, which taxes your heart again. Being so fat is extremely unhealthy. Sorry to be so blunt.

I fully understand you, Venere, as i have 4 overweight sisters!

I can't stand people, who tell my sisters to be proud of their size. What in the world is that supposed to mean? I don't think they would be crying, if anything happened to them because of their weight. I also don't understand how women go around encouraging each other with this 'big is beautiful' nonsense. Jesus, it's their health at stake here!

Should we also go around encouraging people to do drugs, or indulge in bad habits? Yes, it is a bad habit, just like smoking!

Are people so blind!

Of course! fat guys get ignored and forgotten. But thats Ok....shallow people find shallow people and it never last. Then when age,health,...etc catches up with them. Then they learn something. And they have plenty of time alone to think about it.

Actually I do, when I go to the mall. I live in Los Angeles, the city in the US with the smallest middle class (according to the Brookings Institute)and there are many rich and many poor people. I see mostly overweight women with normal size men.

It is easier for men to keep their weight down than it is for women. The problem is that women need to have the time and money to work out. Ask any woman how frustrating it is to diet and have her man lose 50lbs. while she loses 5 on the same diet. After having children, menopause, medical issues (i.e. thyroid which is far more common among women) etc. etc. women struggle to keep their weight down.

Which is why I have far less sympathy for fat men than fat women. Nobody should be overweight and should do everything they can do lose weight.

I have regular medical checks to be proactive with my health. Part of that involves my doctor taking my waist, hip measurements, weighs me(dread that!). Bot male and female doctors alike, have told me the ideal weight I should be, and I do not need them to tell me to be mindful of my health. Not once have I ever heard them say, don't worry about your weight r size, that big is beautiful.

Being fat brings huge risks to ones' health. Increased cholesterol, increase risk of developing diabetes, heart disease, strokes, cancers, you name it, it is increased.

So I wuld love to stop hearing this crap about big is beautiful. Obesity related problems kill people every day of the year. And it is an enormous cost to the the tax payer, going into the billions each year!

Wake up people. Look after yourselves. For your sake, your family and your friends want you around. Please do not take it a s a personal slight. No-one is attacking the person. Simply the fat on the person. Get rid of it. reduce it. Enjoy life. be active, for your heart's sake.

How is it shallow, to not want to be with a person five times my size?

Isn't it better to get help for it, if it is a problem? If it's not a problem, then why do you call people shallow, for having a preference?

It's absurd!

To answer the Thread question for me is just down to personal preferences. All of us select a person to date based on some set of conditions we get to decide. The world is a big place with many different types of people. This makes it interesting. We all like different things whether it be the types of foods we eat, the homes we select, the cars we buy, and yes, the women (or men) we select to date. So the question asked "Why do men ignore big beautiful women?". The answer I see is they don't. One just hasn't picked you yet. I haven't been picked and many, many more here hasn't been picked. But young or old, slim or big, hair or bald, white, black or brown, and all the other differences we see on CS are just somewhere in each person's preferences. I see many happy "big" couples when I go into the real world.