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Wow Lucky! I like that you've pointed out what has gone on for many, many years. It's just so much more public now and our thoughts and feelings go world wide in mere seconds!
On topic: I can't place myself in the category of people who "ruin things" for others. I enjoy celebrating people and their accomplishments whether in relationships or other areas of their life. Sorry, can't tell you how it feels, but I can appreciate the feeling!

...I just hate the fact that peoples hopes are dashed by others, before it could possibly materialize!

lucky Maybe they were hurt growing up by not having very postive role models.Maybe their own families constantly put them down. Maybe they were someone else's punching bag and now they're taking it out on other men and women.
Maybe they were bullied.Maybe out of jealousy and their inadequcies as a person and their insecurities.

I know there's a lot of maybes listed here but any of this is possible.

I agree with all those "maybes" somechick, but none of those are excuses for rudeness or acting in such a way to bring others into that. As adults we are all responsible for our own behavior, no matter the past. We choose to go forward or stay stagnant and wallowing in the past. I know it is a long, hard struggle to rise from any of those situations. It is still a choice.

somechick ...yeah there is...anyways morning

Well said!

Any testimonials would be great!

nurcnurc: I agree with all those "maybes" somechick, but none of those are excuses for rudeness or acting in such a way to bring others into that. As adults we are all responsible for our own behavior, no matter the past. We choose to go forward or stay stagnant and wallowing in the past. I know it is a long, hard struggle to rise from any of those situations. It is still a choice.

Hey some people are just plain old fashion ass holes--let face it!

I agree that none of what I mentioned in my reply are excuses of why people act that way. I do agree that we as adults are responsible for own behavior no matter what but, there are those people who don't do that.There are some people who have just never grew up so to speak.


It's not in my nature to purposely and knowingly destroy someones happiness. I've always been happy about others accomplishments in whatever they achieve in.

Your nature shows in your posting. You have a wonderful sensitivity toward others. A very honorable trait that many of us need to aspire to.
As for the never growing up, isn't that a sad almost pitious state? In those situations those around that person choose how to react to that person. Unfortunately, our reactions to those who are of this nature are what can cause disruption (in the threads). So again, our choice in how "we" wish to be.

Morning lucky I'm not quite awake yet and tried to answer your question the best I know in describing some reasons and not excuses of why some people may act this way.

I have a sis-in-law who deplays the same kinds of behavior I descibed in my post and she's tried many many times to destroy her own daughter' relationships. She is a very jealous and insecure person.And she should know enough to take responsible for her actions but she doesn't.

those were good points! no ones blaming ...

Thank you for the compliment. I've been told that I'm much too sensitive towards others feelings. Well that's who I am and who'll I'll always be .I just look at the people who've told me this and said.. that they themselves should try being more sensitive towards others feelings cause it feels real good to do so.

Anyway,yes it's all about the choices we make.Yes it is very sad but unfortunately that's just how some people are.

lucky Everything's cool you needn't worry I took no affense by her post to me and I realized that no one was blaming.

What your describing has happened a few times on this site in the time I've been here. 2 ppl get together and announce it on the forums and BANG someone else will try to come between them.

As to why it could be alot of reasons but to me they just want others to feel as low as the do them selves.

i havent had a relationship yet that hasnt been bad.but i dont go around trying to make other peoples lives bad. ive just learnt a lot from those experiences and just try not to make those stupid mistakes again.i probably wouldnt be the person i am today if it wasnt for those terrible mistakes .some people change some dont,i know im not the same person i was when i was young and nieve thats all we can really do is learn by our experiences and move on with our lives like i have. being on here if u asked me a few yrs ago what i think of men i would have said to u all men are bastards but i dont think that way anymore, and one day i will find a descent bloke that wont treat me like a piece of sh##!.

Many people try to break others up simply out of jealousy and some do it simply because they live in misery and don'twant to see others happy either, some people are just bitter for whatever reason... I pay no attention to them myself