nurcnurc: Rico, I was going to highlight certain sentences, but it all flows so well that I couldn't really pick just one or two out.
The gist of it is (to me) that because of how many (ever) relationships you've attempted you feel you have failed. Am I right so far? (Maybe not, but that is how I have read what you wrote). You feel no one loved you in the past, so in retaliation to the world you have insulated yourself and have made no allowances for a female to enter.
I think of it as taking away a woman's opportunity to hurt me. I used to be a nice guy who wanted a serious relationship, but all the single women I knew just wanted to tease. Seems like most of my adult life, I've been paying the piper but never been allowed to dance. Eventually there came a time when I said, "I'm going on that floor to dance, $umb1tch".
nurcnurc: Oh yeah, I forgot to add: please read hjf's thread here about "old, old, old, but worth remembering". Something about taking risks. And having nothing without it. I hope you can read between the lines. If not, re-read the whole thing, word for word once again. Maybe tape it to your bathroom mirror so you can see it each day.
I have no problem with the guy I see in the mirror. When you take risks and just keep losing, it's time to stop playing.
mike69spain: Still, do not stop keeping an outlook for what breaths around you. There might just show up a real doll when you least expect it and you will handle it cool since you always have your doll to "fall back on".
Been there, tried it. All I got was disappointment. You ever googled Gordon Griggs? He's the guy who opened the closet door.