Connecting Singles^® Arkansas Forums

I think both are valid. The instant click to start things off and the long-term to keep it started. Kind of like the selenoid and the alternator working in conjunction. The selenoid for the intial ignition but the battery would lose its charge soon if the alternator doesn't keep it charging. It takes many things to keep a car or relationship going. If there is a short any where in the system then the whole thing will not work.

I have always perceived chemistry to be that instant touch, taste, smell, that you have for someone you first meet (in real life). Perhaps phermones. It makes no sense. I see it ae attracted deeply to a person from the first time you touch, smell,or kiss them. To me that is the "instant click" that cannot be explained with words.
I believe you can meet someone online, and have a sort of magic with them. I have been swept off my feet many times by online relationships, only to find, when we met in real life the chemistry just was not there.
My last relationship. I met her online. We were friends for over three years, althought she wanted more. I kept it real and did not take advantage of her. I did not want a commitment, because of the bad ones I had in the past. Well, finally after three years, I agreed to meet. This woman truly had feeling for me. She showered me with presents, and worshipped me. How could I not love her? I asked myself.
When she came down to Vegas from Portland, I had all the hope in the world that we would hit it off. She was nice enough, but I am sorry, it just was not there. There was no chemistry. I did not hear bells, see skyrockets, nor did I instantly desire her. In fact, I had to make myself make love to her.
I am sure some of you "Doubting Thomases" are saying right had to 'force' yourself. It is true, as much as she fell for me, I was not attracted to her at all. She was not grotesque, or weird, or anything, I just did not feel my heart pound and other things pound, when she was in the room. I HAVE been in love, and I did know what to expect. It just was not there.
Anyway, when she left I was honest with her. The magic nor the chemistry was there for me. She refused to believe it, mainly because she was so crazy for me. (A good choice of words) and she remained that way. We were off and on again as friends for the next year, because she constantly hounded me about being in a relationship. In her mind we were. In my mind I was single. I did not lie to her, nor did I lead her on, unless not being mean to her and refusing to talk to her was cruel. In a way it kind of was. She continues to this day to think we have more than we do.
I think I sort of got off the subject here a little. I will tighten up in my conclusion. In conclusion, no, I do not think the chemistry is something you can generate. You can love someone, and never grow to be in love with them, it is easy to get comfortable with someone, or stay in what you see as a friendship, so you did not hurt them, but no chemistry is either there or it is not. You cannot build up that electricity if it is not there. It would be like screwing a light bulb into a lamp that is not plugged in. It just will not work.

For me, I need to feel chemistry with someone when I meet that person. I have learned from experience that if I am not attracted to someone after we first meet, it's probably not going to happen later.

You know! it bothers me to think that we have come to the times and mental structure of putting words and titles on what and how we see attraction and or love.

If you meet someone online! there should be the mindset that you have to get to know this person well, or at least to the point
where there is complete communication and the expression of inner emotions for this person. And of course attraction! which
seems to be the only ingredient that people base thier feelings
on when they communicate online.

I mean come on! what exactly is chemistry? its a word that has
been given to us to allow the thought or the emotion of assurance between two people in a relationship, or at least going
into a relationship, thus you are comfortable with whom your with. Take that word away! (poof) now your unsure of whom your with. Correct me if im wrong!!!

Just like the phrase! I want to find my soulmate! Because you put
those words out there, you become a person that is much more
critical of how your supposed to feel, respond and express yourself with this person. Not very many people actually stop
and smell the roses anymore. WHAT A SHAME!!!

I have found out in that if the chemistry is not there within the first few dates, that it is not going to be there. My opinion is that chemistry is very important to a relationship to blossom into a enduring love.