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Just follow your heart, ut think with your head

No! Cheaters should not get another chance. If someone cheats I feel they are going to do it again. There was a reason why they cheated to begin with, no matter what the reason if they get away with it, it will happen again and again and again...

Respect yourself and Move on now before you become number two ans stay that way.

DMP

Here is the good answer, only your heart knows...

Hey there. First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's a horrific thing to go through. Know that you're not alone.

Now...There are things to consider here..If this is the first time..and if he told you, or if you had to get it out of him or find out another way. If he told you, and it's his first time, I would forgive him..but explain clearly that he must help you rebuild your trust in him. Good luck. :)

SweetandWhite your a kind woman. Most men would love to have you as a partner, they would get away with cheating at least once. Lol. Sorry i don't mean to be rude, please don't take me that way. I believe that forgiveness becomes a pattern if you open the door to begin with. I wish there were people out there (men and women alike) that believed in being with one person and not wanting anyone else. Maybe it's me, but when I'm with someone I don't want to be with anyone else. I think about them and them only, or else I wouldn't even get started with them. What do you think?

Exactly...I have no problem with giving one chance (depending on the circumstances above), and maybe that's because I've never cheated on anyone myself...But yes, you got me...I have been cheated on before. :( But that's all the more reason why I dont cheat. I would never inflict that kind of pain on another human being, especially because I know how that feels. Thanks for the compliment, DMP. :)

Leave him. There is no good excuse for cheating. Sorry to sound harsh but you deserve better. If you do stay with him will you always wonder if he will cheat again? Will there be trust issues?

Great response Raina, right on the money. I wouldn't want to have to wonder everyday if someone is being faithful or they are where they say they are. Once a cheater always a cheater. I think more if they are aloud to get away with it.

It's hard enough to start over at my age and find a woman to be with. If I ever get the chance again I'll prove to her every day that she is number one in my life.

If someone cheats, they will do it again.

Iv been cheated on, and every time i forgive them, they do it again. One even kept cheating while saying how sorry she was, the best part she introduces me to the guy.

Girls and Guys are jerks, it goes both ways, the trick is finding the good ones

good answer

Hey chic I have been down that road. It is good to listen to what people say, but most importantly to listen to yourself. I think everyone deserves a second chance. He probably made a bad judgement call. If he came clean and told you himself b4 anyone else could, I would say he is truly remorseful. In my experience, though if you learned it from someone else, he is not sorry for hurting you, he is sorry that he got caught.

Izabell,
You sound like you are wanting to forgive him, that's why you are so torn about what to do. My advice is this..taken for whatever it's worth.
1.) Like many others have said, did you "find out" accidently or did he tell you of his own free will?
2.) Are you scared of venereal diseases? If you are willing to forgive him..first before anything he get's the battery of tests. Nothing like having a cheater bring you back a gift that keeps on giving..you need and have a right to know that his sexual health hasn't been compromised.
3.) Would you have trust issues if you forgive him?
4.) Would your life be better with him or without him at this point?
Only you truly know in your heart of hearts if this man is worth forgiving or not. Me, I can forgive many, many things but honestly cheating (been there before) just breaks everything good between a man and woman, the trust, the love, the communication, the bond...to me it's gone from that point on. No, you can't turn your feelings for this man off and on, but you need to find out why he cheated, who with, and go from there. Set up boundries and guidelines and make him EARN back your trust and love so that he knows if you do forgive him he gets this one and only chance. No more screwing around and no more screwing up. Nobody is perfect but it's not that hard to keep your zipper up if you really, really wanted to. I know where you are coming from and the devastation is horrible to bear, just think about yourself in all of this and what it is you really want to have happen. I wish you all the best of luck! Don't let him hurt you again! Stay strong!

I'm so sorry that happened. same thing happened to me a while ago. Don't worry it will work out I promise!!!!! Write me back if you want.
Jimbo jones

NO! NO! NO! CHEATERS NEVER CHANGE. ONCE YOU TAKE THEM BACK OR FORGIVE THEM THEY WILL DO IT AGAIN. WHY? BECAUSE THEY FEEL ,FORGIVE ONCE FORGIVE TWICE AND SO FORTH. A CHEAT IS A CHEAT. THEY NEVER CHANGE. HE SOUNDS LIKE A CRY BABY. DUMP THE LOSER. YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER. PLS IF YOU STAY HE WILL LOWER YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND WORTH.

VERY NICELY PUT. YOUNG WISDOM AND FROM A MAN. CONGRATS!

Once a cheater always a cheater.He is playing a game and he is winning because you are letting him stik around he will do it again. cheaters are a dying breed thats what i think.

Cheating is never something that is easy to get over, let alone forgive. I have been through it before and it really hurts and sorry that you had to endure it.

Evaluate your feelings for the person, are they worth giving a second chance to? If you truly feel he is sorry and will not do it again, then you may want to take some time away from him and make him realize just how bad he hurt you. I am not sure if the saying, "once a cheater always a cheater" is absolutely true or not, I know people that have cheated on someone just once and swore they would never do it again. But, if he did it once he may do it again and you never know if he will be with the other girl again or not.

Find out why exactly he cheated on you, maybe is there something missing or something you will not do for him that the other girl did? Most do not just cheat for no reason, they are usually missing out on something they want in a relationship, or may find the other person more attractive and/or better in bed. There is no excuse but there are usually reasons.

You are going to never trust him, be paranoid whenever you cannot get a hold of him that he will be with another woman, and your over protectiveness is going to make him angry and he may use that as an excuse to cheat again because he will claim you are overbearing. Can you live with that, is he worth the trouble? You will never trust him again, every time you kiss him, you make love to him, etc. you will be thinking about him sleeping with someone else. Plus, you are putting yourself at risk for STD's, not to mention how you would feel if you found out the other girl was pregnant! Be realistic, follow your heart, and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

i completly agree
my mom told me that a zillion times
but i had to find out the hard way

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (Hopefully smarter too)