Connecting Singles^® Missouri Forums

First, if he isn't motivated to become a father and provider now, then don't expect him to be any different after the baby arrives. It is one thing to leave the door open for him to be a father to the child. It's another to really have any expectations that he will be there in your child's life and to provide for his/her well-being.

Find some social services, whether they be secular or non-secular. There's no shame in needing a helping hand to sort through the emotional issues and to prepare for the demands on your time, finances and mental health. In the end, it will be better for you and the child.

My prayers are with you,

Peter

HI ARC, I can understand were ur coming from i was 20 when i had my first child, it can be scary.
you need to talk to someone who is close to you and who you cn trust.
you should tell the father that u are pregnant, itshis rite to kno but that dosnt mean u have to get back with him., he might suprise u and like the idea of being a father.
U will be feeling all weird as well all ur homones areup in the air, and it can be a real emotional thing to deal with.
Try and sit down and work out what u want to do, then just go from there, Being pregnant can be scary but its so nice as well, and don,t doubt urself, u can do and be and handle what u want if u have the right mind to do it.
And pls try and get some support from a peson close to you, u really need it at this time.

i wish u all the luck in the world, think positiveand ul be fine.

ARC,
I am nearly old enough to be your grandfather so I reckon I am safe to chat with...ha ha..
My grand daughter got into the same kind of thing when she was still in high school.
Her mother and I encouraged her to have her baby and raise it.
She did not want to know what she was going to have, so she did it the old fashioned way.
She gave me the cutest great grand daughter an old man could ask for, smart as a whip...and now nearly 2 years old, into everything!
There is all kinds of help out there and I am sure you will have a wonderful son.
I will pray for you and your new son.

Walkenstick

Listen, I was in the SAME boat. My little girl is almost three months old now, I had her back in February. Her "daddy" left me high and dry and in the dust as soon as we both found I was pregnant, this was almost ten months ago. I was heartbroken, devestated, scared, nervous, excited rolled into one. But let me just say to you do whats best for YOUR baby and forget about your feelings for a minute. Because if you decide to keep this baby, make him or her your first priority. As for me I filed for child support because there was a paternity test done at the hospital so now he has no say in whether he has involvement in my babys life.

Don't be scared, once you see your baby for the first time, everything else will fall into place.

ok so yeah i never been threw this but... look at all the other single mothers whos peice of shit boyfriends have left them when they found our they were pregnant. my senior year of high school we had 14 freshman that were pregnant 3 of them i knew they finished high school and 2 of them went to collage. but the point being is they did great with out the baby daddy and the kids are great kids now. but like i said i never been threw this for one i would hope i never will. i can only imagine the pain from it just by what ive gone threw in the last 6 years and im sorry for that but honestly i think the reason you want to talk to him is closer and you and hope that he comes back to at least take responsabilty. if you guys can get along and he can decide to take the responablty then great. if hes just going to be an asshole about the entire thing then forget it and deal with it in the courts. the MO laws favor you in that matter

Thanx everyone! I didn't realise I had any responses hahaha.. Well everyones advice has proven to b exactly fact! He's known since the day I found out I was pregnant and has promised he would man up and help but I haven't received a thing from him to date! Its really aggrivating to me to hear him complain that he's tired and doesn't have transportation to get another job! He has time to game and take naps as he pleases! He works but on average 20hrs a week but can't help me gather items for our son or pitch in at all! Its been very hard trying to figure out what I'm going to do but thank god I have a wonderful family and have swallowed my pride and sought out help! I hate that I'm the only parent making sacrifices to provide for our son but that's just the way it has to b w my situation! However I'm sure he will b an amazing father emotionally! Thanx for allowing me to vent!

go after support he will work or they will pull his driving hunting and fishing licenses plus jail time he will man up or run

My grand daughter went through just what you are going through now. Not to worry, the father of her child is a worthless piece of you know what! My great grand daughter is almost 2 years old now and her biological father hasn't so much as bought her package of diapers! My grand daughter loves her baby and she is a really good mother, and she has her mother's support and mine. I am so proud of my great grand daughter. She is so intelligent and of course has Great Grampa wrapped around her little finger!
It will all work out and I also don't know what you are doing talking to him.
He is not going to change. Move on with your life and find a REAL man!

i would like to talk more to you...things are scarey i know but with someone to talk to things may lookup let me know .

I know where you are, I have been there, my ex is in prison now and our daughter is 3, I was alone though almost the whole pregnancy. I know it can be scary but you can make it through. I think it is good that you still talk to your ex because there is a child involved. You should try to keep the lines of communication open. You said that he was unmotivated, a great motivator----Child Support. Make a plan and stick to it and if you ever need anyone to talk to, Just drop me a line.

Hun...my name is Joey...
I saw your post and i am more than interested in being a part of this process...

I dont know if you would be interested in a guy like me.

My email is Joeysnamehere@hotmail.com and i was really hoping to hear back from you...

hun...please...send me a message, let me know whats going on and i would really like to be involved...

Joey