Posted: Jun 10, 2007, 4:10 AM CST
Hon,
I do not normally meddle in other peoples affairs, however, you did ask on the Forum.
So, I decided to answer you -- giving you the CONDENSED version (believe it or not). However, first, let me say that I originally decided to answer you via a personal email - so as not to blast my reply on the web. However, I then decided that perhaps my comments could benefit other men and women in your predicament.
As such, my answer is as follows:
1. You do not elaborate about yourself on your profile. Your profile reads:
" Unemployed male seeking any woman to rescue me, support me and love me for eternity".
Now tell me, is there anything about that profile that would make you respond if it was written by a woman? Imagine if you read:
"Single, unemployed mother of 4, seeking meaningful relationship". You might at the onset, applaud the honesty of the writer, but what does the ad say about her? Is she lazy and is just having kids to collect benifits? Is she a nasty, trifling bitch, who simply can not keep a man? Is she a whore - who has not idea how to keep her "draws up"? Is she a female that simply goes around having kids in hopes of snaring a husband?
Why would anyone answer this ad -- unless they see it as a chance (with good odds) to just get laid. Certainly, no decent man is stating to himself "here's a good opportunity for me to be a father to another man's (and possibly of four other men's) kids. Men just do not think that way. Hell, a lot of men deny their own kids -- but that's another matter.
Back to the topic at hand, and as such, what is it about your profile that would make any self decent, sufficient and successful woman, want to deal with you, your baggage and unpaid bills?
The question is: Why are you unemployed?
Are you seeking employment? Are you enrolled in school to better yourself? Do you have any plans to better your situation? Are you making any effort toward self-improvement besides watching TV all day and becoming a couch psychologist (watching Jerry & Maury)?
Are you at least working from home using your computer?
Have you been evicted and are living on your friends couch -- or by their good graces?
Have you been injured and can not work? What is your story? Since you put it out there, you should "Elaborate" in your profile.
What can a good woman, who is willing to expend time on you -- reasonably able to expect?
I tell you what she would want. That is a strong, confident self sufficient man who can handle his part of the relationship. If you can not do at least that, then you should not bother looking to disrupt any-one's life until you get yours together!
2. PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE PEOPLE, re-read your comments and profile before submitting them. Half sentences and quarter (1/4) thoughts are neither attractive nor sexy. One or two spelling errors can be overlooked, however an entire profile filled with BAD Grammar and Spelling errors reflect on you. It reflects on your intelligence. The pride you have in yourself. It depicts the way you present yourself.
You are, after all suppose to be putting your best foot forward. Need I continue? "Perhaps the fault lies -- not with others -- but with ourselves".
[Cassius: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings"... William Shakespeare]
There I said it, and I stick by it.