when dateing

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smantha wadsworth, Ohio USA
how long should you wait before you introduce the guy to the kids?
wait till you are both comfortable with it. from my personal past this is a very difficult thing to do. be sure he is right for you and them first kids will either lke or dislike him immedatly and hardly ever come around if they are not ready to meet him. same goes for him if he isn't ready it could quickly push him away. this is the last part of your life to give to a man. hope that helps!!! good luckdunno



heidij_1 Bellevue, Ohio USA
Hey! I know where you're coming from with this question. I am a very soon-to-be single mom and I've been pondering the same thing. My daughter is 3 and she is my world. And the last thing I want to do is confuse or upset her. So, my best advice, is to wait as long as you can. Especially if your child/children is/are younger. That's my plan. Make sure you have as much invested in the new relationship as you'd like before he meets your kids. Also, make sure you know everything you can aobut this new partner too. You never know what could happen, but that's a worst case scenario. Hope this helps you. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

Heidi



kimi_girl Cincinnati, Ohio USA
for me it's been a lil earlier than most. i tend to be friends with someone before dating them and most times i'm not even aware that a relationship may be starting. and my friends know my daughter, that's just how it is.

but if i were to start fresh with dating, i'd have to say, i'd wait a lil longer. prolly until the relationship began to move into seriousness. i don't think i could be in a serious relationship if he didn't even know my daughter, she's such a huge part of who i am. but try to introduce them in a non threatening way. just a day at the park or in a group of friends. you don't want them (kids or so) to get attached if it's not going to work!



heidij_1 Bellevue, Ohio USA
Very true Kimi_girl. I totally agree with you!!! Rock on!!



JSanders01 Doylestown, Ohio USA
From a guys perspective, it is much the same. Most guys, if they are very interested in you will WANT to meet your kids, but if they have not had that experience in their lives, it is best to wait to give them the time to adjust to the idea of it first. For example, make sure that if you have a function with the kids and the guy wants to go out, remind the guy that your kids are your #1. It may seem mean, but if he cannot understand that, then it is best left alone. if after a while he still shows the interest in you and asks about your children, and shows he is ginuine in his questions about them, them maybe a quick meet and great at dare is say...but it is nice for the kids....McDonalds! LOL! Yes, the playground things (if they are young enough) and that will allow the guy to meet the kids, but at the same time, not give the kids the wrong impression as well. And if all goes well after that, then maybe a more personal encounter at a part or something. Only after they are comfortable and you are comfortable and HE is comfortable, should a "at home" encounter go i think.

Personally, i have only let a handful of people actually meet my kids...and i am meaning my best of friends even. LOL! I am super protective at times.



heidij_1 Bellevue, Ohio USA
I think it is so great to have a guys perspective on this sort of subject. Like you, I am very protective of my daughter, and she only meets who I want her to meet...at least right now. Once she gets older then things will change, but that doesn't mean I still can't be protective. And if a guys understands that your children are your #1, and that he will meet them when everyone is ready and the time is right, and is willing to meet you one day at McD's...then he is definitely a keeper!! LOL!!




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