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I agree. I have lived with someone before, we did end up getting married, and we shouldn't have. The next time I will listen to my intuition. It is what I am looking for, a life partner.

It is in my opinion that people today are too quick to just jump right in and make no real commitment to each other. To me I have seen so many fall for the sexual part of it. Thinking "wow, if it's this good, we are made for each other". I have learned that there can be good sex, but nothing to build on. I think that sex can be built with feelings and heart. For me there has to be some kind of connection before sex.
Kat

I do believe in marriage, if the relationship has matured to that level. But I think it's unfair to call someone selfish if they wish not to get married, without looking into that persons history. Divorces are never pretty, no matter how "amicable" some people claim them to be. The more resentment that has built up over time, the uglier the proceedings will be. Accusations (both valid and fabricated) are thrown, legal loopholes are exploited, friends are forced to choose sides in some cases, and if children are involved, it's even worse. The only real winners in a divorce are the lawyers. Statistically, men are the majority losers in divorces, even if the wife was 100% wrong. Some people have deep emotional scars after a divorce. It's almost paramount to being a victim of crime; you are forever wary of the possible circumtances that might lead to a repeat assault. The media doesn't help either. They constantly barrage us with explicit details of divorce cases of the rich and foolish and how much one side is losing to the other. For some men, this is enough for them to treat marriage like a phobia.
I don't think people should "play house". Either get married, keep dating that person from your own perspective locations, or find someone else. Too many times, couples decide to "play house", then one decides either to return to an "I'm still single" frame of mind or wants more control of the relationship. I think its hilarious on some of these TV reality court shows when two people who ended thier "house" agreement want the same protection under the law that is ajorned to married people. Yet, when the judge asks them the usual question, both partys either remain silent or give a juvenile generic answer.
Anyway, that's my opinion.

I agree. Lawyers are the winners in divorce. Because so many people let them (the lawyers) lead them around by the nose, and put the hate in their hearts. There are mediators for this now days.
I have been both divorced and lived in sin with a man, two men. The divorce was okay til we got the lawyer involved. It gor really out of hand due to what the lawer said. As far as living with someone; to each their own. But for me it is a no go, no show. I will really soon become resentful, mistrusting and have little or no faith in that man. This is me. Living with smeone is too easy. Too easy to begin and too easy to push away.
As far as emotional scars; we don't have them from being thrown away like a sack of trash from being in that relationship with no commitment? Emotional pain is pain whether it be married pain or the shacking up kind.
Okay, you said playing house, I say shacking up. It's all good though., It means the same. So far, my teachings to my son has been good. He married, not shacked up.
I appreciate your opinion. I like the way you speak and you articulate yourself.
Welcome in. Please stick around.
Kat

U go girl

Hi, it's good to see a couple of new faces here.

Why thank you....

It's always good to see your face.

Why thank you again.

Good to see you are still around. I have been pretty much just reading the intl. forums. I am getting so bored with those. Too much crap in there. It didn't used to be that way.

Bitch, bitch, bitch....yeah, yeah, wishing it was the way it used t be, much like paws said.

Kat

Hi Kat, I can't find much of interest over there either. I get bored with it. I post in friends hang out; then look at a couple of those. If there isn't isn't anyone on friends; I hang it up.

Just to be devils advocate here, I think marriage really is just a piece of paper now days. It's a ticket for her to use when she decides to ditch the marriage for something more exciting and she gets a house he helped buy, a car he helped buy and he has to pay her money because she decided she wanted to run back out and play ho. I think perhaps it is a good idea for people to live together. If you are capable of an honest relationship then you don't need the marriage to make that stick, however if you aren't you do need it to screw the guy over when you leave. I think the basic problem is is that if you're not married, either one can say bye, and end it. with a marriage someone not only gets emotionally hosed, but financially as well.

I think both options can work for different types of people. Me speaking from personal experience I have no intentions on remarrying nor do I want to run and get shacked up with somebody either. I think that once you reach that level in your relationship you should try to live together first and see how that goes and if you're willing to take the next step then move on from there.

There is only one way to get married, THAT is specified in the Bible.

Once we moved away from the fundamental principals of life and try to life the Liberal lifestyle, everything goes to hell.

THAT is because there is no FOUNDATION to support what you are trying to do.

Unless we first understand the fundamental foundations, only then can we move forward with something of solid worth.

All too many women are swayed by the feminist society that was born back in the late 60's and early 70's and THAT spread across the world like a cancer.

You find a way to stop THAT and you will be on the start of creating life long commitment and true marriage.

YES! THIS is all so very true... As men get older, when they look at a woman, they often wonder, "What guy is paying for that house?"... Is she going to do the same thing to me? Is she hung up on fairytales and fantasy going into the relationship?

Men stand to lose BIG for even giving a woman their names these days. Look at California... ANY woman can get knocked-up and apply for public assistance and all the need to do is point to a man and say HE is the father and BAM! No DNA, no other paternity testing is ordered and the guy gets slammed with a child support award that stays with you through life...

TRY to fight it and you get slammed even harder... So the men are just supposed to shut up and pay.

Thank you N.O.W. and the sisterhood of wenches that stepped outside of the Bible's teaching and created a hell for the next 3 to 5 generations to come.

As I always state on issues like this... PROVE ME WRONG!

wench (wench)
n.
A young woman or girl, especially a peasant girl.
A woman servant.
A wanton woman.
intr.v., wenched, wench·ing, wench·es.
To consort or engage in sex with wanton women. Used of a man.

[Middle English, short for wenchel, child, from Old English wencel.]

noun

A vulgar promiscuous woman who flouts propriety: baggage, hussy, jade, slattern, slut, tart2, tramp, wanton, whore. Slang floozy.

i just think marriage should be a 2 year contract with the option to renew

I lived with a man for 24 years and put up with a bunch of crap from his ex. I took the brunt of everything she had done to him. He was'nt ready for a commitment of any kind, his money was his and mine was ours. Every time I left him he cried till I came back and then it was still the same. Let by gones be by gones and find someone that will make a commitment and be happy like I,m still trying to do Endevor to persevere

i've had 3 marriages and stuck to my vows. All three wives cheated on me (we had active sex lives). I'm through with marriage, but will live with someone. Tha's my 2 cents.

differenht strokes for different folks, the way i look at it