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Not all men are, but he seems to be in the majority. Sounds like he hasn`t grown up yet, or he wants to drive you batty. From the looks of things, it`s working.

Not all men are pricks or dicks! Women, like men, see things in different perspectives. A guy on one hand has to jump through thousands of hoops to try to keep the average woman content. It's not bad enough he has to cough up money for entertainment, trips across town, abscences from work in order to justify attending to the whims of ms "lady-fair" but he has to juggle his previous life as well, whether it is repairing roof, mending his heart or worrying about paying bills and satisfying or meeting the needs of his prior family, relatives or current boss who frowns at him for asking for time off.

A man, like a woman...needs some mental time off and to himself and away from pressure of responsibility without being considered a prick or an absentee father.

I've never been one...lost my chance when twins died before birth but I know today how difficult it is to make ends meet let alone trying to satisfy the curiousity, insatiable needs of a woman whether it is fine dining or paying for drinks at $5/pop and to not even get a thank-you out of her as if a courtesy is too much to ask for yet I would be considered demanding, too agressive or hung up on myself if I asked the gal to "think" about reciprocating a bit.

You need to lighten up and yes, although a 12 year old doesn't need to be alone and should be, I'm sure there is more to the story than what you are revealing to the readers.

I'm glad to say that not all men are this way. Just be glad that you are divorcding this "SOB". I feel so bad for your son though. He shouldn't have been treated like that. If this "man" were truly a father, he would have told the new woman, that he needed to spend time with his son. Family comes first!! I wish you the best in your future, and remember not to judge all men by one REALLY bad example.

I certainly asppreciate your response and your feelings on the matter. I believe that men deserve a lot more credit for the things they do than they receive.

But when it comes to their children they should always be put first, especially if you haven't been with them much and know that by your own choice and plans you will not be with them again for several days, is one night to much to ask?

And no I didn't state everything to the readers, but for this one instance this one night I stated the information as I received it. I was not there to witness how long my son was alone. But, I do know how his father has been acting for the last 6 months and now it has increased since I moved out.

I guess my issues is more with his parental instincts, it is like they have turned off. This behavior is not typical of this man, well not until lately. There is so much more to the story and WE are both to blame for our divorcing. I know that when we point our finger at someone, then there are three more pointing back at us. I have made some mistakes, but when it comes to my time with my kids, they are FIRST. This whole speration adn divorce thing is just as hard on them as it is on us. In my opinion, more so on them.

I am not sure if this helps extend or explain my words, but my words are what they. They were and are spoken from my heart.

I agree with all the above....... not all of us men are that way

You are right to a certain extent....Most men are thinking with their second head and when the object of their attention beckons, that 2nd head takes over no matter what. This woman's soon to be ex, is selfish. His child should be taken care of before his needs are. If he wants to go tip toeing through the bushes with this other woman, he should have taken his 12 year old child back to his soon to be ex. There have been far too many freak accidents involving young children left alone at night. Men and women both have responsibilities and stress that needs to be relieved, but when there are young children involved, the children should come first.

I totally agree. He should have stayed home with his son and waited until his son was back at home if he wanted time alone with the new girlfriend.
Some guys seem to think when they divorce the wife, they divorce the kids too.
Maybe a talk with your ex about what not to do when he has your son with him..but I am sure that would probably just piss him off even more and make things worse? Maybe talk to your lawyer about it.

I left my daughter with my ex for the weekend once when she was only 4. This was only his second visitation with her (not court ordered, I just wanted her to not forget her dad) I went back to pick her up at the agreed time, and nobody was home, and we happened to spot her under a streelight (at 9pm) in the rain about three streets away from his house. She had been following my ex's GFs kids somewhere, and they took off and left her. If we had not come along when we did, God only knows what would have happened.

Apparently the ex and his gf had been gone all day and evening on his new harley to a party.
They came home shortly after I found my daughter lost on the street. Of course I had some choice words for them and expressed my deep concern and anger at his total irresponsibility, but they were *high* and it was all *no big deal*.and his GF even had the nerver to ask if she could come back the following weekend

they can't help it, they are born that way

One very important thing here is this.... when you get a divorce, the guy is no longer obligated to make you happy.

When I was married I was more than willing to do almost anything to make my wife happy, but when she took off it was no longer my responsibility. My ex wife's other ex husband will run errands for her. She wanted me to build her some cabinets for her kitchen. Some of us may be dicks if we do not want to do things for our exes.

I'm sorry... you seem like a nice person. Hope I don't offend you with my words. Here looking for friends not enemies.

wemon are selfish too my ex sure is

opps should have been women are 2

LOL it's sad innit

jeeezzzzzz I meant it's sad they're born that way! being a responsible parent is what should come first.

Well since you dont have a second head dont make comments about how they influence someones thinking. Women just as much as men can show an irresponsible side. They in my view receive far more than they deserve when separations occur. Back in 1978 I got a Divorce and received custody of my son. My wife was not made to pay any child support because she had no job i guess they didn't explain that part to me. She never contributed and I never received one dime for his well being. In 1987 I was offered overseas work and had my son staying with my mother. He wanted to live with his mom and I didn't want to be a DICK and tell him NO WAY as I knew she was not a good person. I allowed him to live with her. I sent them money every month and after about 1 year I started getting letter from my son telling me what I was sending was not enough and asking for more. He told me that his shoes cost $150 and what I was sending was cheap. I got pissed and soon was headed back home because the job had completed. I went to pick him up an she hid him from me and my son played along He was 13 almost 14 by then... SO I said okay see ya... I continued sending money everymonth. Contact with me and my son suffered big time. I guess that was his other head a work... Then one day while I was working in Washington St I got some papers served on me and his mother was suing me for back Child support. She wanted $30,000 and custody of the boy who was almost 17. I had to get a lawyer and that cost about $5,000. She ended up with custody of him and I had to pay $700 a month for his support.

This was the biggest mess I ever went through as she was a drug addict and my son was running wild. Well he is 35 now and we finally have started to communicate but all of this was a big tragedy in my view. So many years were wasted by all of this and she was supported by the courts totally. I was not except when I initially won custody but that was because she got bused selling drugs to an undercover female officer who was more that willing to testify on my sons behalf because of what she witnessed with my ex. My ex is still being supported by the state and probably will be until she dies.
So tell me what part of the body was she thinking with. My point is dont put all guys in one basket. We deserve better than that.