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i thought about posting this on the international forum, but decided this would be a better place for it.

when i first joined this site a few days ago, i struggled to find a pic that was a good representation of how i look. the one i posted is a bit more than a year old but it mostly looks like me, with some minor differences. very few pics of me even exist and i don't have my own camera or anybody who will take more for me, so i have to make do with what i have available to post.

how important are pics really? my sister has been a member of a different dating site for a couple years. she's beautiful but never ever under any circumstances posts her pics there. i helped her create her profile and everything we said was accurate and expressed well. i tried to do the same with my own, same style with different ideas of course, and included pics. right from her very first pictureless day on that other site, she started receiving messages and chat invitations and went on many dates. some good, some not so good, but she has so many men to choose from it's not even funny.

with that being said, i'm wondering if there's any benefit at all to having my pic posted here. i know there are things in my profile that might scare some men away (maybe my pic is one of them?) but i believe it's best to be honest so they have an idea who i really am. i also know i tend to get a bit wordy, so no need to tell me that.

any thoughts or suggestions? my skin is pretty thick, so i can take it, but please try to be kind in your honesty if you can. no guarantee i will change anything but i'd sure appreciate your opinions.

thanks to anyone who replies.

I am sorry to say it, But it all depends on how shalow the one looking is. Just be you. Thats the best advice I can give you.
And be Honest at all cost. But also safe.
God willing you will find the right guy, and he will be looking for everything you are as well.
good luck

FYI: Women out live men by 7-10 yrs.
My is about 5 yrs older then me.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
Don't cut you're self so short.
If you find some one who you makes you happy and vis-versa, age don't realy matter.

thanks for your reply mike. you found your special lady, so you must have done something really right

i know people are all different and i prefer not to generalize, so...

do you think there's anyone out there who isn't so shallow that my *issues* become deal breakers? i try to put a positive spin on them, but the facts are still the facts whether they're spinning or not.

another thing i worry more than just a bit about is safety. i can sometimes be overcautious, which i think can be a man repellent too. i have a whole different set of challenges than the average woman has and so i feel like i have to be more careful than most. at what point does one decide another person has earned enough trust for a meeting?

it's been awhile since i had to think about these things so i'm open to ideas and advice.

That I can help with being as people al over are dif. and thats a good thing.
Never try to spin things. I can not say it anuf. HONISTY is alway the best. Every one tell that little white lie. And where there may be nothing wrong with that, when tring not to hurt some one feeling. in a relashionship, it's just not right.
If you feel you have to hide things from some one then it is more of a trust level thing you need to look at.
In a good relashionship, with a good foundashion. You should feel free, to talk open with eacher other, at all times, and not fear what the other mite think.
And thats the real test to see if you have some thing good, when Trust is the corner stone, of a relashionship. Whit out this, and with out it, there is no chance.
And what you may see as "ISSUES" may just be a good book to the right man, who has understanding, and a good heart.
Remember 9 time out of ten we see are self, and thing dif, then thouse looking in at us.
As for safty. There are alot of thing you can do, to keep you're self safe.
1st safe gard you're home IM or E-mail assy. do dot give it out, till you truly beleve you can trust some one.
2nd, set up a 2nd IM addy with yahoo or MSN and do not put any personal info on that one, and use that 1 to talk to people you wish to know more about.
3rd. Don't give out you home phone at 1st, till you are positive, you wish to. Insted pick up a track phone, there cheap, eazy to get, and you can toss it, and never have to deal with that person agen.
4th when you do deside to meet that somebody. and you do not feel you the trust is there, meet them in a public place, for dinner, or some thing along them lines, and have some one else there, like some freinds at the next table. And have then know what you're safty word is, so they know when to step in if you need them to.
These are some simple honest ways to help keep you safe and feel safe. There is nothing wrong with having an out.
After all you can't have fun, and get to know some one if you don't feel safe doing it right?
I hope this helps. Good luck, and best wishes.
There truly is some one out there for every one, just remember life is a risk, so you're not living if you do not take some now and then.
Sincerely mike

thanks for the good advice, but now i have another question.

this might be a big mistake, but at this point i don't really have anything to lose...

ok, so if i were to be completely honest, i would say i suffer from chronic pain and my legs ache all the time. i have a hard time keeping up with people at a normal walking pace and need frequent rest breaks. i can't walk long distances or climb hills or drive a car anymore. i still want to and enjoy getting out and experiencing the world around me instead of being cooped up in my apartment all the time. that means the road only runs one way and you're going to have to be the driver.

i cry often with worry for my son's safety while he's serving in iraq. i paid taxes all the years i worked so that i could collect it back in disability benefits now, but even though i can afford everything i need, it's not enough to support a man in addition to myself.

man magnet now?

all advice from the profile reviewers says to find a positive way to say even negative things. i feel like if i don't tell it exactly like it is (see above) that maybe people will think i'm trying to deceive them. but if i am as honest as this, who in their right mind would ever take a second look?

Ok I am still weighting for you to say some thing bad, or wrong.
some where there is the perfict man for you.
You have a nice worm face, you're open and honest.
I WILL NOT SAY DON"T WORRY FOR YOU"RE SON, but I will say Be PROWED OF him, and all he is doing. draw stranth from him, and let you're pide over power the fear.
And as long as you keep faith, there is hope. thlk about what you can do. What you like to do, what you can share. who you are. for real.
Trust in God and beleve in you're self.
You do have a lot to offer the right man. you just need to see it and let it out. Look deep.
and let you're self shine.
Sincerely mike

Hi, I just wanted to say that I HAVE to see a photo or I'll totally disregard you completely. Even if the photo is a little outdated, it's better than NO photo. I feel if I can come up with a photo, so can the guy. But that's just MY opinion. I also wanted to mention to NOT get rooked into eHarmony.com. It's a TOTAL ripoff. THEY select matches FOR you and you don't even have the OPTION of possibly selecting someone for YOURSELF. It's about $250 a year and all I EVER get matched to are guys that seem to be the type that would push their religious beliefs on you. I've emailed eHarmony and asked if it's REALLY an all-Christian singles site but they never answer me. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God and pray regularly, I just didn't load up my entire PROFILE with religious references. I've belonged to at least 3 different single ad-type sites and I guess I'm either WAY too picky, or there ISN'T someone out there for EVERYONE!! Good luck in your searches, Wisconsinites!!! Hopefully you'll do better than I did. . .

hi chilischick

there are lots of dating sites that aren't what they claim to be. i've looked at so many of them and most are expensive or don't have the features we have here. cs is one of the best which is why i even bothered to join.

i'm kinda with you on the possibility that there really isn't someone for everyone... at least not on these sites. however, maybe you'll have better luck here

Welcome to the family. To start.
I have been in in 13 dif sites on my serch. and yes "e-harm" was one of them. And yes it vary much a rip off, like most of the others.
I found my baby right here. Yes I truly beleve she is the one for me. I feel that I owe this site so much for helping me find such a wounderful woman, That is way I am still here.
May be I can give some thing back.
Sincerely Mike

Just passin thru.........

hi and welcome

To mjv fireball: You TRULY need to have SOMEONE ELSE do your typing for you.

o mjv fireball: You TRULY need to have SOMEONE ELSE do your typing for you.

To Chilis chick re: above......Give the guy a break....who cares about his typing! He had some good advice and he offered it up........You need to CHILL!