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Lionel Hutz

Well he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog.

Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son"

Girl: You said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!

Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things.... Oooh yeah!

Ralph:

"My cat's breath smells like cat food!!!!!"

Troy McLure:

Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everybody you care about.


Lionel Hutz:

Oh yeah, as if lawyers work in big fancy skyscrapers. Look at him! He's wearing a tie!!

Homer " I am so smart, (singing) S...M....R...T
hee heee

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

“Max Power—he's the man whose name you'd love to touch...
But, you musn't touch!
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you say it, you mustn't fear
Because his name can be said by anyone!”

lisa

DAD YOU SHOULDNT EAT MEAT

HOMER

WHAT ABOUT BACON,HAM,pork??

lisa

there all from the same animal

homer

oh yeah lisa what kind of magical animal is this?

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden

guess who

Laywer: What about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die"?

Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The"

Judge: No one who speaks German can be bad!

Homer
“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”

Marge
That's because you were drunk!!

Lionel Hutz:

Oh sure, like lawyers work in big skyscrapers and have secretaries. Look at him! He's wearing a belt!

Comic Book Guy:
"Now make like my pants... and split!"

(Selma's thinking about artificial insemination)
Homer:
"Yeah, like you're gonna make it with a robot!"
(Marge whispers in his ear)
Homer:
"I knew that!"

" me fail English? that's unpossible" Ralph Wiggun

Homer (On Marge joining the Police Academy):

At first I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie "Spaceballs". But instead it was just dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy"

Homer

alcohol the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems

Lionel Hutz:

Mr Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my case against "The Neverending Story"


US Law prevents me from promising you a large cash sum, but just between you and me, you will get a large cash sum.


Hi, I was rooting around in your garbage can and I over heard that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a high flying lawyer, my fee is $175 an hour.


Lisa: Mr Hutz, Why are you burning all your personal papers?
Hutz: Kids, as of this moment Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

Dr. Nick Riviera
"Well if it isn't my old friend Mr Mcgregg with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg"

"Uh oh the Coroner? I hate that guy"

Dr. Nick: "Hi everybody! Now, tell Dr. Nick where is the trouble!"
Abe: "I'm itchy! I've got ants in my pants! I'm discombobulated! Give me a calmative!"
Dr. Nick: "Slow down, sir! You're going to give yourself skin failure!"

Fat Bart
"Ah wash mah self wit' a rag on a stick!"

Homer
(meeting Billy Corgan)
Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Homer: "I'm sterile - right, baby doll?"
Marge: "Yes, Homie - from the power plant."
Homer: "Beautiful."

"Must kill Moe...wheeee! Must kill Moe...wheee!"

Milhouse

"I hate these flood pants... Hey! They're working! My feet are soaked, but my cuffs are bone dry! Everything's comin' up Milhouse!"

I better stop....

Homer : Call Mr. Plow, thats my name, that name again is Mr. Plow

Bart : I didnt do it

Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Chief Wiggum: They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling competition): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

Troy McClure: HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!

simpsons are good, but i prefer family guy and south park though!

dad whats a muppet. its not quite a mop and its not quite a puppet so in other words i dont know