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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.


have a wonderful day

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Hmmm thats another good reason for consuming chocolate...THANKS

Always said I can live without a man but I cant live without...

CHOCOLATE........

Morning Mini......

Morning love!! I couldnt live with chocolate either - have a chocolate cake in the oven as we speak!!!

Will you tell that to me weight-watchers leader next monday.......Please as i am suffering really bad withdrawal from Chocolate........

Eat Maltesers Nuala...are they not low in points?

than you for your comments

You should go back from whence you came...oh yeah running around houses getting women fit for foreplay, then sex...with you....lol Girls ye can ALL have my share of this one!!!

And who is the 'expert' here....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate

Alex youre not in the Intl forums now....the women here demand respect please dont forget that....

THANKYOU Crystal,,, since when did he elect himself an 'expert' quote...as per his thread..

I am NOT thanking you for yours..ok

i will not post any more jokes

it is in the jokes & humor forums i never expected people will take this serioudly

i am sorry
my apologize to all of you

Found on the back of a Cadburys dairy milk bar honestly.

" The benefits of Chocolate "

Enjoying chocolate as part of a balanced lifestyle can play a part in making people feel calmer more relaxed and generally happier, chocolate gives us an emotional boost, which triggers similar good feelings to those we experience when listening to music, or being in love".


If the manufacturers tell us this then it has to be right so eat more chocolate it will make you happier

Oh stop it Alex youre making me feel all guilty now.... dont stop your different brand of humour please.....

dont feel guitly
it is not your fault that some people take jokes in a serius way

you have mail

Okay thanks.....I think its just that some interpreted it as a joke and some didnt and too be honest I thought it was and then I thought maybe I was wrong....I foolishly didnt look at the category which I will do in future....I just was upset cos Catherine seemed upset...thats all..

for what i have seen in the threads yu posted you lack of selfconfidence to such a point you have to be rude with soma one that post a joke

jeck again

it is in the jokes and humor forums

i dont have to sjow any credentials as an expert in health

my only credentials are the people that had a good laught on this joke

light up
and think twice before being rude with the one that posted a joke

if you dont enjoy jokes it is better ou dont go into threads that are in the category of jokes and humor instead of geting mad at every joke

it is not healthy

oh if it was only true,