In response to:
i feel bloody awful now an guilty!!

Okay, so I feel down now, but I'd rather feel the way I am now, compared to how I'd feel if I didn't have you, I'd feel alot worse. If it's anyone's fault, or if anyone should feel guilty, it should be my training instructor, he knew of my plans for moving, he should never have mentioned the job, or even encouraged me to go for it x