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A 7 year and a 4 year old are up stairs in there bedroom.

"you know wot"sez the 7 year old""i think its time we started swearing,when we go down stairs for breakfast,i will swear first then you"ok"ok said 4 year old.

mum comes from the kitchen and asks 7 yr old wot he wants for breakfast,

"shit mum i'll have cocopops


WHACK

he flew out of his chair crying his eyes out,mum looked at the 4 year old and said sternly

"and what do you want for breakfast

"i dont know "he blubbers
"but it wont bk fking cocopops

Beth and her friends are out clubbing one Friday night when she meets a handsome guy by the bar. They talk, connect, and end up leaving together. When they get back to his place, he shows her around his apartment.

One odd thing she notices is that an entire wall of his bedroom is devoted to a collection of stuffed toys arranged on shelves. The bottom shelf contains lots of small stuffed animals. The next shelf up contains slightly larger ones, and so on, all the way up to the top shelf, which contains gigantic teddy bears.

Beth is a little surprised that a man would have such a sizable collection of stuffed animals but she decides not to be judgemental. In reality, she is actually impressed that he is willing to show his sensitive side to someone he just met.

One thing leads to another and before long they are making love.

The next morning, after a night of intense passion, she wakes up next to him. As she notices him waking up also, she rolls over and asks, smiling, "was it good for you, too?" The man shrugs and tells her she can have any prize she likes from the bottom shelf.

LMAO

Little Johnny Joke
Ms. Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Johnny,what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office. The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic. "What is three times three?" "Nine, Sir." "How much is nine times six?" "Fifty-four." And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade student should know. The principal looked at Ms. Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He seems smart enough."

Ms. Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" "Pockets!"

"OK,what does a dog do that a man steps into?" "Pants."

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge. "Bubblegum!"

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" "Shake hands, Ma'am."

"Now for some 'Who am I' sort of questions, OK? First one: You stick your pole inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do." Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." "Nose."

"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver." "Arrow."

"Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?" "Firetruck,Ma'am!"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

lmao

u nuytter chriss

hahaha a know

hows you anyways hun, not seen you in a while, hows things with ya?

what a total crap joke