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I feel like moaning about what I can never find.
What I'm looking for is a lady who...

has good morals.
doesn't smoke or do drugs.
doesn't drink too much.
doesn't care where I live or who with.
doesn't care what my job status is.
likes me for ME deep down.
would look forward all day long, to walking along the beach with me, simply because it's with me.
would rather sit under the stars with me than get drunk at the local pub with a load of out of control yobs who think they're behaving normally.
doesn't have a profile photo of them doing some sort of seedy pose.
doesn't live thousands of miles away.
doesn't, during our first conversation, tell me that to lose weight I need to eat less and exercise more (duh!).


Ok so this message isn't going to help me get any contacts I suppose, but I get none anyway so I won't make it any worse, plus most people in these forums don't seem to be looking for someone anyway. :) I did get 3 contacts a month or so ago but all 3 didn't bother replying after I wrote to them. I guess I was just too nice or something, and these days all women want is someone who's loud, drinks too much, earns lots of money and is overly confident.

Where is the girl of my dreams? Oh and PLEASE don't tell me that I won't find her while I'm looking! People often say that but it just doesn't make any sense, there is no logic to that at all. With my situation as it is, I simply won't find anyone UNLESS I look.

Moan over! Hehehe.

Have a good day everyone,
Geoff.

Hi Geoff and everyone who reads this.
I just wanted to say good luck in your search, not all of us ladies are doing or liking the things that you don’t want. I don’t care for most of them but then that is just me. I wouldn’t have wanted someone who is loud and overly confident because I am quiet by nature and I’d never be able to hear myself think.
I had lots of serious reasons as to why I should never trust in men again but I have and I found him online. We married last year and I guess we are one of the computer websites success stories.
What I am trying to say in a round about way without seeming pretentious is that there is always hope and in the face of adversity it is hope that will keep you going. Don’t give it up to easily.
I told one of my dear friends that he should never give up and that his special someone was out there. He had lots of issues with confidence and the way he looked and had never had a girlfriend in his life. I found out yesterday that he is engaged and happier than he has been in a long time.
She will come along one day for you perhaps when you least expect it but as I said in the first phrase of this note good luck in your search, you never know she may find you first.
Esperella x x

yes ESPERELLA. very wise words. i apply the same words myself

as its a funny old world NEVER say NEVER is my satnav in life.

Hi Esperella, thank you for replying to me. I was a bit worried I'd get a load of abuse for what I wrote! So I'm glad that the first message at least was a nice one. :)

That's great that you've found the man for you, I'm very pleased for you. :) Also the friend you told me about - That is great that someone who felt like he did about himself, has managed to find someone.

I try not to give up Esperella, but it is very tough at times and I do often feel like I'll never find anyone. I have had a few girlfriends in the past but the last was long ago, and my life has changed a lot since those days. So many times, I'm either messed around and teased by a woman or I just spend months searching and get nowhere.

I do have this vision of the perfect woman, but it's more like a dream that will never come true. It isn't what most people would think of as the perfect woman though, but just someone who's perfect in MY eyes. Although I'm a big guy and I actually like big girls, this vision I have is of a slim woman, with a big smile on her face, walking along the sea front with me holding my hand, really in love with me and making it obvious she is. It's someone who feels the same as I do about drinking, smoking and other things. Someone who would rather spend an evening with me under the stars or an hour watching the sunset, then cuddling up with me on the sofa. There is more to these thoughts I have that I can't easily put into words. Oddly though, the sort of person I'm thinking of is someone very 'simple' (I don't mean stupid) who isn't really into technology like I am, so probably wouldn't even use the Internet much so wouldn't know about websites such as this! So maybe I need to look elsewhere - But where? I'm not a 'going out' type of guy, and even if I was, I can't afford to and there isn't much around where I live apart from the odd pub.

Anyway, I've gone on enough and am probably making a bit of a fool out of myself! Thanks again for your kind reply Esperella. Enjoy the rest of your day,
Geoff.

Awwww, why were you expecting a load of abuse Geoff???
Everyone is entitled to have preferences hun. And why should you settle for anything less?

If you don't mind me making a little suggestion, just a slight one
Rather than emphasise on all the things you don't in a partner, why not change your thinking to, all the things you love a person to be. The end results would be the same, may feel more positive for you.

I hope she finds you soon, I truly do

I guess I expect abuse because so often in forums, if someone writes something slightly negative, certain people jump on that and use it as a reason to have a go. It's happened to me a lot in the past, including on CS, which is partly why I don't bother with forums much these days.

I don't mind your suggestion at all. :) I did mention several things that I want the person to be as well as things I don't, but I guess I did say quite a lot of negative things as well!

I'm not fussy at all by the way with how I'd like a woman to be. That list I made would really sum up everyone who thinks a certain way, and most people who might be interested in me. If someone came along who genuinely liked me and wanted to be with me, but she didn't fit a lot of those things I listed, then that would be fine with me too. I'm actually probably the least fussy guy on here!

Are you out there, my one and only? I hope you are. Please write to me.

I would say that you should be prepared to accept an "imperfect" woman, otherwise you may have a very long wait.

Take your ten "wants" and be prepared to compromise on (say) three of them. You might be surprised that "imperfections" are actually attractive qualities or, when you meet the person, are not really a problem at all. Go to a pub and then head for a stroll on the sands.

Everyone has good and bad characteristics; hopefully the bad ones are not too bad at all.

Can I make another suggestion? Dump the photo with the old polo shirt!!! Definitely keep the smile, but the polo shirt looks very 1970's. Hopefully that's not too personal.

Best of luck ..... and don't give up!!!

Hi TartanK. I think people are misunderstanding me a little. Like I put in my reply above, I'm really not fussy at all. I seem to be coming across the total opposite from the way I really am. The things I listed are not 'wants' at all - I am just describing a certain type of woman really rather than listing all the things I want of someone. Like I said before, I'd happily be with someone who didn't have most of those qualities - I just don't think someone like that exists. For example, if a woman is the type not to like clubbing for prefer walking along the beach at sunset, they would probably also not be a heavy drinker, not be doing a sexy pose in their profile pic, etc..

So basically I agree that 'imperfections' can be attractive in a lady. :)

I really am being misunderstood and it's quite frustrating because I'm not that type of guy that people are taking me as at all. I'm completely the opposite. I think it's probably my own fault for the way I worded my first message in this thread.

Oh is the shirt that bad? LOL. I appreciate your advice about that mate but to be blunt - If a woman was put off me because I was wearing a shirt they didn't like, then I'm not interested in them anyway. :) Having said that, I may still remove it! Hehehe. I'll take a look at it after sending this and see what I think.

Cheers,
Geoff.

P.S. I just took a look at the photos I have here....Oh the one you mean must be the one I use as my main photo? That's ok surely? It's the best photo I have of me, or at least the best one that's honest about how I look today. I could do what most people do and post a photo that's 5 years old where I look thinner and generally better, but I don't like to lie about my looks! I see no point in that at all. :)

I'm not exactly a flashy dresser anyway. Someone like me who's quite a bit overweight isn't able to be too fussy about what they wear. If it fits, the great, I'll buy it! Well within reason anyway. :) I just hope it doesn't put people off but as I said in my last post, if a woman is put off simply because they dislike my shirt, then that is really incredibly shallow and I'd never get on with someone like that anyway.

Geoff.

You didn't need to thank me but it is appreciated and you are most welcome... Esperella x x

I think when the right one comes along, and the connection and chemistry is there, then all the likes and dislikes go out the window anyway You just accept the other for who they are. Warts and all.

It's just a shame we can't answer the impossible question for you, when, where or how you'll find her

Alright - a vote on the shirt!

I think you would look better with a change of shirt (then again, my dress sense is all over the place!), but going topless is probably out. Something understated but smart.

A change of shirt won't suddenly open the floodgates, but you're out there competing with a lot of guys and you have to look your best. As I say, keep the smile as it's a winner.

Thanks for the compliment about the smile. :) As for looking my best and this blasted shirt though! LOL. :) Like I said, being a porker like I am, you wear what fits. I'm not trying to compete with any other guys anyway, I'm just being me and that's all I'll ever be. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not and write lots of silly things just to make women like me, or dress a certain way to attract people.

I was visiting my Mother is hospital today, as I have been quite a bit lately. I've noticed the way that some of the nurses seem to be, and they SEEM to fit the type of women I'd get along well with. No, before someone suggests it, it has nothing at all to do with their uniform or anything kinky! :) It's just the way they seem to be so amazingly accepting of the large variety of sick people, no matter what they look like or act like. They also often see quite 'plain' in looks rather than tarting themselves up to look fake. I really like that type of person as it says a lot about their personality, and the most important point about all this is that THEY are more likely to be accepting of me! That's what all this is about. It isn't what I want, it's what type of women would like me for who I am and accept me without wanting me to be like a 'typical' guy.

I agree with what you say though Lily, that if the connection is there, then the rest goes out the window. :)

Well, you never know Geoff. Put on your best smile, because they say, love finds you in the most unlikeliest of places

You are right though. I think nurses are special kind of people too. They have to have that caring nature, to be able to do their job

And I wouldn't dream of passing comment to uniforms. I feel the same about firemen but, that is purely kinky

DID you know lilyxxxxxxx ????????

Where my Mum us at the moment there are loads of nurses, and they all seem nice. I will put my best smile on! Hehehe. People don't tend to be interested in me if they just see me face to face but I won't give up. There is one that spoke to my Mother a few times yesterday, and she was so kind and in a really genuine way. It's rare to find someone like that. She was also quite a lot younger than me (at a guess) and extremely pretty, so I doubt I'd stand a chance really.

Geoff.

Nurses have to deal with people who are not at their best, whether patients or worried relatives, all the time. So maybe they are a bit more receptive to genuine people rather than flash ones. If they see that you obviously care for your mother, then they are likely to see you in a good light. That's a start, eh?

I'll not mention the shirt again, but stop putting yourself down. Been there, done that, and women do not find it an endearing quality.

You're not a porker - you're well rounded!

Morning TartanK. Yes I agree about nurses, and I will make sure they see my smile when I go to the hospital later! :) I did yesterday actually when I was there, but I just don't have the nerve to approach them. I wouldn't even know how.

I'm not putting myself down am I? Oh maybe I am. It's more other people who put me down though and make me feel the way I do about myself. I know that I have many good qualities and I WISH others would see them and not care about my bad points.

I tend to say I'm very cuddly these days. :) Saying porker was just a funny way to say 'fat', as I was trying to make light of it. I agree with you that women don't like it when guys put themselves down and I do try not to so much. Like I said though, it's the women (NOT ALL) who make me feel like I do in the first place. If I wasn't always being rejected I would feel so much better, because I'm generally quite happy, despite my current 'not so good' situation.

Oh that shirt. LOL. Maybe soon I'll try to take a better pic of me, in a different shirt. If you think it's that bad then others may do to. :) I'd like to think that women wouldn't be put off by such a silly thing but I guess I should give myself the best chance I can! I have other photos that I like, also on my profile, but they are older. Maybe I'll put one of them as my main photo for now though.

Have a good day mate,
Geoff.

I've just made another photo my primary one. I've just noticed that I have the same shirt on though! LOL. It doesn't show so much though - What do you reckon everyone please?

I've also uploaded a few more photos.

Geoff.