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They dont love the bottle more than you, that much I do know - they are simply helpless to show it while under the influence of their addiction...............

Im guessing at the phone calls thing cos I guess everyone has their own reasons but maybe the person is simply showing love in the only way they know, maybe words are just beyond them or maybe they hope you will have some of the answers the list could go on and on but why do you think they do the phone call thing?

Love the bottle more than you???? Well, you'll obviously never been addicted to drugs and you're not an alcoholic.

Picture this: Have you ever had an itch that you tried to ignore? The more you tried to ignore it the worse it gets until you give in and scratch it?

Cravings are just like that. The body's call for alcohol is strong. It's a physical as well as mental addiction.

That person must have the desire to stop drinking otherwise they won't. Unless they deal with the mental issues as to why they are drinking, they will never over come the physical desire to drink.

They may love you with all their heart and soul but their cravings to drink are more powerful without treatment.

Best wishes to your friend.

Thanks........... ...

Thanks,i don't know, why ................

my advice is to keep away from addicts,they ruin your life as well as their own and will never stop until they want to, this can take forever

depends on how you have reacted to their calls this far, if you have shouted, maybe they dont want to make you shout again but just want you to know they wish they could make it right - I really dont know, there are so many variables to this kind of behavior but I reckon its usually down to them wanting you to understand but not having the words or feeling they have the right to ask this from you -

it takes the patience of a saint to deal with somebodys addiction but unless they want to help themselves, theres not much you can do, but please dont mistake not wanting to help themself for not being able to - along with the patience thats needed, a few tons of understanding come in pretty handy too.......... all the best with this

Thanks Pat, Will do, i know to do that ok,but i think it's
and it's such a waste of live!!!!!!!!!!!!!




............

Hi Trish, Thanks i know all that, and i was very patient and understanding, i worked very hard for two years trying to help her, i was even measuring out the vodka and trying to get it down,
but i would always find a bottle hidden somewhere,and i didn't shout, am not that sort of person.


I know they cant help it, it's it was just on my mind that's all,
like always

......................

unless these people want to help themselves, there is no point.you are a decent man and deserve someone who thinks of you also

Well said and here is another fact - They are presumably *adult* so as we all have choices and that does not only apply to alcohol, its the same with drugs.

In the music game, drugs were easily obtainable in the 50's if you knew where to go, but many, indeed most of us who worked as semi pros just said NO.
BUT - We had national service then and that, regardless of the opposite opinions expressed here DID have the effect of instilling positive thinking and self-discipline into many people who will testify to it today.

The Junkies and AlKys know exactly what they were getting into and chose to go there. - As far as I am concerned they are self inflicted habits like smoking so if they refuse to listen to sound advice and do the usual stuff like stealing, prostitution etc to fund their habits etc,
I say turn your back, have nothing to do with them at all and make damn sure they cannot contact you by any method you can muster.

They made their own beds so they can and should lay on them.
They are a waste of space.

Before I get any verbal from the politically correct I say this -

If however, children get lured into drugs and alcohol etc by adluts that is an entirely different matter and the bastsrds who lure kids should simlpy be shot and disposed of by burial in quicklime as its the cheapest way of solving THEM
NO MESSING.

Mike

i agree mike,get involved with those sort of people and they walk all over you

Thanks for that - Its re-assuring to know someone on here actually agrees with something* *I* said
Mike

was just browsing and came across this thread and thought id give a little insight to what i know of alcoholics.

i was the child of an alcoholic and lets just say that until the age of 4 my life was horrific..............wont go into details on that score but i ended up being brought up in care and the social work department holding parental rights.

alcoholics are very selfish people who think of no one but themselves and ruin lives into the bargain.

i never lost touch with my mother and its only since i had my kids that she has improved her lifestyle and a lot of that was because i was intolerant of her ways and told her in no uncertain terms that she would have absolutely nothing to with my kids while she was drinking.

my kids adore her and she is wonderful with them and i think in her own way she is trying to make up with what she missed on with me.
that wont ever happen and i suppose in a way i do still hold a bit of a grudge for what i missed out on.

ive been there wirth the phone calls in the middle of the night and being embarrassed when i have had to
go and pick her up from somewhere when she passed out and made a complete fool of herself.

tough love is sometimes the only way and just remove yourself from the situation altogether.

thanks i did..... i just had to let her go i could not do anymore for her and my life was hell.... it's a shame.... but i still get the calls late at night tho..... it's sad... but what can you do when you have done all you can.... and for a very-very long time it's so sad for them............... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im afraid i dont agree that its a shame.........its a shame for the people round about them who have to deal with the drunken behaviour and lying on a daily basis. there is plenty of help out there for alcoholics and why dont they take the help?.............because they are selfish and can only think of themselves and where the next bottle is coming from.

that's very hard and i'm sorry .....but i'm not like that.... i'm a softy and always try to help.... and give people a chance.... but that's me ....and were not all the same are we !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


...........................Hi sis..................

hi


im very softhearted too and i would help anyone out if i could but maybe living with alcoholism all of my life has made me very hardened to it.

Heres....what...I..do...know.Some....alcoholics...drink....because...whats..in...the...bottle...is.
.like....fire...in...their...soul....Some...feel...like...nobody...until...they...breathe...in...this...fire...It...has...to..do..with...a..lack...of...self..esteem...lack...of...self...worth...
This...person...you...speak...of...may...have...love...you,...but..is..lost...and...need...to...find...
her...way...back...Thus...a..long..term....regular/..meeting...with...AA
(Alcoholic.Anonymous),and....some...treatment...in..Rehab.
You....are...considered...to..be..a...co..dependent...when...you...aid...her...in...getting...these.
..drinks...i.e...measuring...and..pouring....However....you...couldnot..have...known...this.
.because...you.thought...you..were...helping...in..a...good...kind...manner,...because...of...your....caring..and..kind...nature.
If...at...any...time...you...need...to...vent...drop...me..a...line..

Heres....what...I..do...know.Some....alcoholics...drink....because...whats..in...the...bottle...is.
like....fire...in...their...soul....Some...feel...like...nobody...until...they...breathe
...in...this...fire...It...has...to..do..with...a..lack...of...self..esteem
...lack...of...self...worth...
This...person...you...speak...of...may...have...love...you,..
but..is..lost...and...need...to...find.her...way...back...
Thus...a..long..term....regular/..meeting...with...AA
(Alcoholic.Anonymous),and....some...treatment...in..Rehab.
You....are...considered...to..be..a...co..dependent...when...you...aid...her...in.
..getting...these...drinks...i.e...measuring...and..pouring....However....you.
.couldnot..have...known...this..because...you.thought...you..were...helping..
in..a...good...kind...manner,...because...of...your..
..caring..and..kind...nature.
If...at...any...time...you...need...to...vent...drop...me..a...line..