russell brand/jonathan ross

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mickeyscouse London, Inner London, England UK
should the bbc get rid of
them both jaw drop
mickeyscouse London, Inner London, England UK
Speaking on Andrew Sachs' answerphone]

Russell Brand: Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand … you are meant to be on my show now mate … I am here with Jonathan Ross. I could still do the interview to your answerphone.

Jonathan Ross: Let's do it …

Brand: Man … er, Andrew Sachs.

Ross: Don't call him Manuel, that's really bad manners. I apologise for Russell - he's an idiot.

Brand: I said Andrew Sachs! Look Andrew Sachs I have got respect for you and your lineage and your progeny, never let that be questioned.

Ross: Don't hint …

Brand: I weren't hinting! Why did that come across as a hint?

Ross: Because you know what you did…

Brand: That wasn't a hint …

Ross: He fucked your granddaughter!

[laughter in the studio]

Brand: That's his answerphone!

Ross: I'm sorry … I apologise Andrew, I apologise, I can't help it, you were talking about it and it was in my head, I apologise.

Brand: Jonathan!

Ross: I got excited, what can I say, it just came out.

Brand: Right. you wait till I come on your show. Andrew Sachs I did not do nothing with Georgina … oh no, I revealed I know her name! Oh no, it's a disaster! Abort, abort! Put the phone down, put the phone down, code red, code red! I'm sorry Mr Fawlty, I'm sorry. You're a waste of space! Oh no, Jonathan …

Ross: Why did you tell me? I forgot. You mentioned her and then it was in my head and then it came out.

Brand: I know you can't be blamed for this … It's too much for you …

Ross: He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine.

Brand: What's going to happen? I will get a call now from the satanic sluts.

Ross: If he is like most people of a certain age he has probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they were young and innocent right by the phone. So while he is listening to the message he is looking at a picture of her when she was about nine on a swing …

Brand: She was on a swing when I met her … let's ring back Andrew Sachs.
mickeyscouse London, Inner London, England UK
[They call for a second time]

Ross: Hello! Manuel here!

Sachs: [his answer machine message] Sorry I can't answer at the moment …

Brand: … I am too busy thinking about killing myself … Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I am so sorry about the last message - it was part of the radio show, it was a mistake … The truth is I am phoning you to ask if I can marry - that's right, marry - Georgina the granddaughter.

Ross: And I would like to be a page boy.

Brand: He wants to be a page boy, we are going to have a Fawlty Towers-themed wedding.

Ross: Now you've spoilt it!

Brand: No! I made it better. I'm sorry, I'll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down! Oh what's going to happen. Look I've got a mental illness. Do you think that made it better?

Ross: You will never become king rat in the Variety Club now.

Brand: Oh no, that's over for me now … Jonathan I think we've made the situation worse ... We've got to stop upsetting Manuel. This time Jonathan I'm convinced we can make it better.

Ross: Let's just sing to him.

Brand: I'll make up something as I go along…

[Third message]

Brand: I'd like to apologise for the terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs, I would like to show contrition to the max, Andrew Sachs. I would like to create world peace, between the yellow, white and blacks, Andrew Sachs, Andrew Sachs. I said something I didn't have oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter. But it was consensual and she wasn't menstrual, it was consensual lovely sex. It was full of respect I sent her a text, I've asked her to marry me, Andrew Sachs …

Ross: This has made it worse, you have trivialised the whole incident.

Brand: Hang up, hang up! It's trivialised it!

Ross: You know there is one way we could possibly make it better …

Brand: We can keep ringing, and even after the show's finished, kick his front door in and scream apologies into his bottom.

Ross: Hello, Manuel is not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone…

[Fourth message]

Brand: I am sorry, I am so sorry … that I had a difficult life, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Andrew. Let's just take some time together, we can meet up.

Ross: You're making it worse, just say sorry.

Brand: Jonathan Ross is sorry as well, it was his idea … Sorry about everything that's ever happened …



Brand: No one could have been offended by anything that went on in that show.

Ross: Who could possibly be offended by anything there? If they were they are crazy people.

Brand: If Andrew Sachs listens to his answerphone message when he gets it …

Ross: The saving grace is you didn't have anything to do with his granddaughter did you?

Brand: Oh actually I did, I slept with her, but it was ultimately undermined, not undermined, underlined with love …




phoenix paris, Ile-de-France France

No...Anyway they can't afford to let them go..
mike1937 Broadstairs, Kent, England UK
One word answer YES

IMO Brand is plain talentless and Ross is an overpaid London YOB who does not know whwre to stop with bad taste alleged humour.
jpunk Edinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


oh dear, slapped wrists!!!head banger
jpunk Edinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK
when was this said???dunno
TartanK Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Russell Brand - another of the crop of clowns who thinks that looking stupid and saying something outrageous passes as talent. Jonathan Ross - not half as funny or clever as he thinks he is.

The BBC won't sack them; they're lapping up all the publicity.

Perhaps someone should wait until Ross's daughter has had sex and then have this sort of thing on the radio with his family as the butt of the jokes. As for Brand, set him on fire. All that hairspray would make him light up a treat. Just the sort of entertainment that would go down well on Guy Fawkes Night. An extreme measure, perhaps, but these are extreme times. Ask yourself - would you miss him?

Some underling at the BBC will get sacked; the producer of the show who thought that this was a wizard wheeze hopefully.

Brand and Ross will continue to coin it in. Currently they're all over the schedules like a rash. Apparently there's no such thing as bad publicity.

The two of them are a disgrace and probably neither of them care.
muleguy52 Liverpool, Merseyside, England UK
TartanK: Russell Brand - another of the crop of clowns who thinks that looking stupid and saying something outrageous passes as talent. Jonathan Ross - not half as funny or clever as he thinks he is.

The BBC won't sack them; they're lapping up all the publicity.

Perhaps someone should wait until Ross's daughter has had sex and then have this sort of thing on the radio with his family as the butt of the jokes. As for Brand, set him on fire. All that hairspray would make him light up a treat. Just the sort of entertainment that would go down well on Guy Fawkes Night. An extreme measure, perhaps, but these are extreme times. Ask yourself - would you miss him?

Some underling at the BBC will get sacked; the producer of the show who thought that this was a wizard wheeze hopefully.

Brand and Ross will continue to coin it in. Currently they're all over the schedules like a rash. Apparently there's no such thing as bad publicity.

The two of them are a disgrace and probably neither of them care.

Will the BBC sack them? There is more chance of me, getting a French kiss,from Sophie Raworth.
More likely,they will both be in line for a big pay rise. Probably at the expense of the jobs of 'lesser people',at the BBC.

I think that setting fire to Brand's hair,is going a step too far,though.
He once claimed that he had a mouse,living in his hair.
And judging by the state of his hair,i would'nt be surprised,if it was still in residence there.

And so,i could'nt condone the setting alight of his hair,if there was a chance of an innocent creature coming to harm.

So, maybe we should just set Wossy's hair alight,and be happy with that.
mike1937 Broadstairs, Kent, England UK
The BBC have apparently had well over 10,000 complaints so why waste any good matches setting two arrogant nothings alight

The best thing anyone can really do to both and do two things at one would be to switch off and officially refuse to pay the licence fee in protest IN WRITING to the authorities. -

There are not enough places in jails to stick us all in and the police are too overstretched looking for muggers knives and guns rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



no1brightongirl brighton, East Sussex, England UK
tartank you have got it right, i like your attitude and isnt russel brand just like guy fawlkes



Kevint Worcester, Home of the sauce, West Midlands, England UK
Only now have the BBC suspended the pair, There are to be more meeting to decide what to do.

Its typical of this country, when action is needed, lets create a committee, oh and the first point of business, how much shall we pay ourselves, and all the hangers on that we will need to support this committee.

In my view, Sack them, plain and simple, use the money they cost for something which we all will benefit from, like a decent TV program.

Management is not hard, you just need some balls to make hard decisions when needed.
mike1937 Broadstairs, Kent, England UK
Kevint: Only now have the BBC suspended the pair, There are to be more meeting to decide what to do.

Its typical of this country, when action is needed, lets create a committee, oh and the first point of business, how much shall we pay ourselves, and all the hangers on that we will need to support this committee.

In my view, Sack them, plain and simple, use the money they cost for something which we all will benefit from, like a decent TV program.

Management is not hard, you just need some balls to make hard decisions when needed.


My view exactly having been always hands on even in management of workshops.

Mike angel The Shitehawk
mysterysinger hull, Humberside, England UK
Disgusting humour fire them both and other TV and radio stations not use em for years that will hit there pocket and then maybe then theyll understand keep there mouths shut with there smutty humour.
muleguy52 Liverpool, Merseyside, England UK
mysterysinger: Disgusting humour fire them both and other TV and radio stations not use em for years that will hit there pocket and then maybe then theyll understand keep there mouths shut with there smutty humour.

Nothing wrong with smut.
As long as it is in good taste. laugh
guiriman south of milan, Lombardy Italy
i used to do similar pranks when i was 10...by the time i was 12, i had grown out of it... are these bozzos really the best the bbc can come up with? you're paying the licence fee to watch them?
Seabiscuit Plymouth, Devon, England UK
What people seem to forget is that the phone call wasn't done on a live show.. The call was pre-recorded so one of the producers will have listened to it before letting it go on air! So whilst Ross and Brand are in the wrong the people above them are equally as bad if not worse..

I know that it would have been listened to as my best friends Mum is a former BBC Radio presenter (Veronica Capaldi if your wondering who)
nuttycrunch high wycombe, Buckinghamshire, England UK
sorry people...but it made me laugh
the only person who has the right to take offence is surely andrew sachs.
.....maybe i got more important things to worry about??
bodleing Greater Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK
nuttycrunch: sorry people...but it made me laugh
the only person who has the right to take offence is surely andrew sachs.
.....maybe i got more important things to worry about??


What about the Spanish waiters, especially those from
Barcelona?

Maybe they might be having a little chuckle right now.



laugh




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