Connecting Singles^® UK Forums 100% Free Online Dating

Glad U like,
Here's another beggorah

Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!

As U like it, here for thy potential mirth is No 3

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'

Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!'

OK so - Silence is allagedly *Golden* - But Here is No 4

Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!'

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!' Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.

'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.

LMAO Harsh But funny!

GOOD MORNING CAMPERS
To match the silent response so far here are two more short ones - 5 & 6 folks

---

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'

---

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'

'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'

PMSL.......

Merry Xmas To You Mate.xxxxxxxxx

ace

Glad U like gals - Here are three more shorties from the collection

---

Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?

A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

---

Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

----------------------------

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said 'I dont think thats her, she wasnt that tall!'

---

If I were to reveal original sources it would start a tribal war between the Argyll & Sutherland, RAF Central, Marines, Irish and Welsh Guards bands. We KNOW there is a member of the first one on CS even if WO *Sir* Stew' has been bloody shtum for some time - the pissed old fart head -

Cheers from *ERK* @ Dickenstown - If CB can change his name,
so can I ? - What say U ?

Mike..I'm a real thick mick, a real stupid paddy..But for the record..Keep up the good work. They are very funny..Keep posting them because i'm stealing them...

phoenix...

OK then Paddy - Thanks - Will do begorrah - And there's more - as Jimmy Cricket said

I collected Kerryman jokes too when I was with the bands as they are so * versatile * and easy to modify.



Cheers from ERK @ DICKENSTOWN

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly
six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.


The doctor replies, 'Ma'am, you had twins.... a boy and a
girl. The babies are fine, however, they were poorly at birth
and had to be christened immediately so your brother Paddy
came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself 'Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother, he's a blomin' clueless idiot... Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, 'Well, what's me daughter's name?' 'Denise' says the doctor.

The new mother is somewhat relieved, 'Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about me brother', she thought....'I
really like Denise Then she asks, 'What's the boy's name?

The doctor replies 'Denephew'

By request from Paddy le Frog - Banjo plucker
From BOF & solar panelled ex Skinbasher


Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'

Paddy replies 'Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'

That's priceless - Thanks for sharing

ERK@DICKENSTOWN

That is genius!!