Connecting Singles^® UK Forums 100% Free Online Dating

A few years ago I had arranged to pick up a mate of a mate named Ian for the football. I arrived outside his house and called him. He told me to come in and wait as he wasnt quite ready, I asked which house it was I hadnt been in it before.

The house on the right was the reply, so I entered the one on the right, walked into the living room, sat my arse down, got the sky remote out and stared channel hopping. A minute later, a lady in a housecoat enters the room, "thats obviously Ians mum" I thought and said to her that Ian told me to come in and wait to which she said "no probs". She then sat down in the other chair, phoned her pal and was telling her about what happened at her recent doctors appointment and graphically explained what went on.

3 minutes later, my mobile goes and its Ian asking me where I am....."In your living room waiting on you!" I says.

"You aint in my living room".........I looked out of the window and there was Ian waiting by my car!

He meant for me to go into the house on his right as he looked out onto the street and I walked into the house on my right as I looked at the row of houses.

It turns out that the lady who I had been in the room with was married to a guy called Ian as well and he was upstairs sleeping off a hangover!

Talk about a red neck! The same lady served me at the chip shop the following night and told everyone in the queue what I had done.

when into local record shop ( back in the 80's) and asked the guy in there that i really fancied if he had any sexual feelings .......

i ment Marvin Gayes song...

sexual Healing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep that would make ta blush hun lol

I work with a rabid Rangers fan and his team had been well-beaten by bitter rivals Celtic. The next day he was wearing a black tie at work. Of course, I laughed out loud and commented on him taking the defeat in good heart with his choice of tie. He calmly told me that his mother had just died. I, of course, thought that he was kidding and made another reference to the match result. Eventually it clicked that the guy was serious.

I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me.

I went for a new tattoo on my back.In order for the tattooist to do it i had to take off my top and my bra.I did hold my top over my bod for modesty.Well,it was abit of a cold day and in full view of enquiring customers i sat there.My tattooist Mike is the boss and so any enquiries re: designs etc go through him.

Anyway,a hour into my tattoo i needed to visit the ladies room.I stood up and my left leg has gone to sleep and i stumbled and reached out to grab the chair and my top fell to the floor.

I was topless and there was approx 5 people,many young lads in the tattoo shop.


Oh dear