controling partner

Canada Forums » Advice » controling partner
THREAD AUTHOR
suzey london, Ontario Canada
What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('confused')('hug')('rolling on the floor laughing'); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys


#1, there is not much you can do to put a controlling person at ease.

They control you by making you try to put them at ease.


Controlling person ... can also a person that is abusive. The abusive person does not have to be one that hits, or is negative, but one that controls everything, even you. It wears you down and saps your energy and health, mentally, physically and emotionally.

"And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with,"
They will never stop until they fix themselves.


What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, It's like a person with an addiction, it's not you who can fix it, they have to fix themselves.


bestat45 saint john, New Brunswick Canada
and for the record, alot of the time they have no desire to fix themselves, so that being the case you are putting yourself in a precarious position...just my opinion
bestat45 saint john, New Brunswick Canada
been there and have learned my lesson
KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
bestat45: been there and have learned my lesson


Ditto!



sasseez lakes entrance, Victoria Australia
It rare a possesive person with those behaviours will change and a lot of the time its just there personality not because of past situations even tho that can make them worse.
seekerofprincess Thunderbay, Ontario Canada
dont say good morning to them! lol
sensualintellect Trent Hills, Ontario Canada
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys


There is absolutely nothing you can do, because it has nothing to do about you(it wouldn't matter who he was with), and everything about his weaknesses, so you have 2 choices get on the rollercoaster of everyday being under
suspicion for absolutely no reason, be willing to be tested daily and never succeed and never being able to prove your innocence, allowing him to slowly destroy your own identity until he morps you into his control, or get away, very far away very quickly.

You cannot change him nor will he ever be strong enough to have your best interests at heart if he stays the same, and only he can change that nothing you will do will help.

Best of luck



KelownaMan Kelowna, British Columbia Canada
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys




If that person is jealous, then they have anger issues also. get rid of the jealousy and the anger also goes away. Controling people are habitual. It is those who feel that they need to control in order to hold on to what they have. It has nothing to do with their past treatment from others. They need to see their behavior as wrong and learn to recognize it in order to change their pattern. Stay away from Jealous people!
tunzrok Windsor, Ontario Canada


The controlling partner has issues that only that individual can change if they are willing No one should allow anyone person to control them whether a partner,friend,relative or co-worker
Most often it is ones insecurities that is the cause of the controlling behavior
Its a cop out blaming the past for ones behavior we live in the present or the moment not in the past


suzey london, Ontario Canada
hey thanks for your feed back appreciated
suzey london, Ontario Canada
thanks for your advice appreciated i will let them know
suzey london, Ontario Canada
lol thanks for your advice aye
seekerofprincess: dont say good morning to them! lol
suzey london, Ontario Canada
thanks for your advise aye
suzey london, Ontario Canada
thanks for the advice
suzey london, Ontario Canada
tunzrok: The controlling partner has issues that only that individual can change if they are willing No one should allow anyone person to control them whether a partner,friend,relative or co-worker
Most often it is ones insecurities that is the cause of the controlling behavior
Its a cop out blaming the past for ones behavior we live in the present or the moment not in the past
( hey thanks for your advice buddie)
suzey london, Ontario Canada
Thanks guys for helping appreciated aye suzey
In response to: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys
CatnCarLover East of Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Hello Susey,

though it looked as if you found out what you needed to know about controlling men, I just wanted to say something.

Controlling men usually come across as very friendly, outgoing full of compliments and the like. They seem to draw a lot of people around them, are the centre of attention, etc. That's what they want to be seen as by the people around them, real nice men.

When in a relationship, they will turn into the complete opposite. Manipulative, emotional abusers etc. Mind games come along too, and these types are narcissistic. The perverse type doesn't give a d _ _m if you cry, hurt or care about anything you care about, nor care about anything at all, except about themselves. For example; belittle your ideas, "forget" important events, reject you, criticize people you care about, will walk away during a conversation...then, if they feel that you have enough and want out, they'll come "loving up on you" just to get their way;sex, or other things they want. That is by now, emotional abuse. That is a personality trait and that cannot be changed; it gets blamed on past relationships,(that's just an excuse to justify their actions) and women want to come to the rescue. That's what men want, and bingo, women get caught.

I am not saying that all friendly men are like that, it's one of the signs. (I'm dodging bullets now...)

If one's gut says, "something's wrong" believe it, then run as fast as you can!

I am by all means not a man hater. I'm just more careful now. ; )


p.s. To the readers, some women are manipulative and controlling as well,(get pregnant to get the guy etc., ) but I'm talking from a woman's point of view.

suzey: Thanks guys for helping appreciated aye suzey
gordy22222 whitehorse, Yukon Territory Canada
sure is nice to live in camp where there is only me to control and to be controled by me.. i thing i will yell at me tomorow,maybe. then my feelings will be hurt but then we can make up. both personalitys,,..i dont kno about you but i love me..i was going to delete this half way back then i decided to be a larger that life idiot today and so kept typing,, my idiot dog os outside barking at i dont kno. maybe a grizzley or a porkupine, he will get it figgered out soon i hope ,its anoying
gussi Freiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
sensualintellect: There is absolutely nothing you can do, because it has nothing to do about you(it wouldn't matter who he was with), and everything about his weaknesses, so you have 2 choices get on the rollercoaster of everyday being under
suspicion for absolutely no reason, be willing to be tested daily and never succeed and never being able to prove your innocence, allowing him to slowly destroy your own identity until he morps you into his control, or get away, very far away very quickly.

You cannot change him nor will he ever be strong enough to have your best interests at heart if he stays the same, and only he can change that nothing you will do will help.

Best of luck


absolutely spot on this comment.

Suzey take note.

thumbs up thumbs up




Report this thread if it breaks rules, is offensive, or contains fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. If this thread is offensive, please click here to report it »



If site dates and times do not show correctly, you can fix this by editing your timezone
Click here to edit your timezone »