In response to:
“Ohhhh...get off the cross TT...someone else needs the wood!! ”
More like get off your high horse and deal with the fact that not everyone has morals that are as loose as yours. You also need a new line, that one is getting tired.
“You think that "separated" people are the only ones that have "messes" (and yes some do)”
Duh!
“what about the divorces that end up totally destroying all that a man has built...so that the next woman has to help him from the ground up again.”
Has to? Why?
“..or the "support" payments that leave him feeling "inadequate" financially...”
Guess he needs to put in more hours at work or get a new job, just like anyone else who is over extended financially.
“YOU TT are the one that's not getting it here...I am not advocating one over the other...all i'm trying to say is that the "issues" that you speak of are not "exclusive" to "separated" people as you would have us believe....”
Actually, you are the one who isn’t getting it. A LOT of people still see it as adultery. Just that plain and simple.
“...."But it does go to show how lacking in compassion and accountability they must be."...
Has it ever occured to your moral self that perhaps it was compassion (for their partner and extended family) and accountability (to the children involved) that some chose to stay separated (in whatever capacity that entails) rather than embroil themself in a "messy" divorce....just so that they could prononce to the world how "upstanding" they are...and now "legal" to date???”
Actually, I just see a lot of excuses for being lazy and cheap in that.
“Beyond that, this person should know that I may feel moody at times as a result - not because of "wanting back in the old relationship", but rather as a result of frustration with the process - i.e. astronomical support payment for the kids, my ex, having ALL the liabilities from a nearly 20 years marriage.”
Examples of why some would not want to get involved with you. This is the kind of “baggage” someone else may not be willing to accept the burden of, as it could also affect them negatively, not just you.
“I would like to know the views of TT and others for couples that co-habitate then break up... they are going through the same separation anxiety as those that have a marriage end..without the piece of paper. Would you date them? Just wondering. They can have the same baggage as someone that was legally married with a piece of paper.”
Not really the same baggage, and while I may date them if they were already living apart, I wouldn’t take it seriously until the dust had settled, as I wouldn’t even want to deal with nasty messages left on answering machines etc. A person’s past is their past, as long as it is in the PAST.
“optimystic, TT: just wanted to point out the following from the Forum rules: "You may not use the forum to accuse, ‘expose’ or gossip about other members".
Yeah, tell that to wikked.
“She is "judgemental" and narrow minded...but "veiled" behind her hair..she can afford to be...so can the "faceless wonder" TT... ”
Optimystic, you will noticed that I looked up your profile... Just curious since there is not much info in it: what do you stand for, what are your beliefs/wants? From another thread about looking at pictures before deciding to contact someone, I'd say you are a prime candidate to explain that a picture is not WHAT you are. I'd say you are a pretty lady, but based on your inputs in these forums, I'd walk away faster than a speeding bullet. There is DEFINITELY a compatibility issue here
Most "separated" people are opened about their status, who/what they are, what they want. Why not share with the rest on your profile?
There is nothing wrong with your opinion Optimystic. Everyone is entitled to have one. You and I and everybody else don't have to agree with those. However, we all are ENTITLED to freely express those opinions.
It becomes out of line when posters start to personally attack other members. There is no need for that.
I may not always agree with your opinion - and I sure don't on this topic; however, I am sure others share your opinion as well. A medal has two sides. I need to see both sides of the argument to make an informed decision.
So, to all who disagree with my opinion I say: Thanks for letting me seeing things from your side. As a result, I am better informed, and will still take the MOST appropriate decision based on MY beliefs of right/wrong.
Sylvain