I'm not a prince,
or a high maintenance man,
and I don't live in an loft,
or eat bird seed, or own a Chihuahua,
and I don't know Tiffany, Cher or Kyle from the yoga centre,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a career,
not a job.
I speak in sentences,
NOT in text abbreviations.
and I pronounce it……. Oh, My God, not OMG.
I can proudly sew MY name on the ass of my sweat pants, not someone else’s.
I believe in sales, NOT designer labels.
Dogs are pets not accessories,
Bling Bling shouldn’t be worn anywhere on your body unless you’re a Soprano.
I believe in Laughter, NOT tears,
and drama should remain on the TV.
A joke can be dirty and inappropriate and still be funny,
Coolers are made for men who can’t drink beer.
and pinkies should remain firmly placed on a bottle.
In my dictionary, it’s US not ME,
TAKE should always be followed by GIVE,
AND LOVE SHOULD BE A PRIVILIGE NOT A PRESENT,
Why does Canada have 13 million single people,
AND NO ONE WILLING TO SAY HELLO!
MY NAME IS BREW!
AND I AM SINGLE!
HELLO
