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Why do people treat you like you are undateable just because you are on disability? Whenever the dreaded "what do you do for a living" comes up I cringe. I know that the person will either block and delete me automatically from their msn or totally lie to me about how it's not a problem then block and delete me from their msn.


They behave as if I just told them I am on welfare with 5 kids or something. I have legitimate reasons for being on disability which I don't care to get into the specifics about , but once men find this out they run. I know this is the major reason that I have been single for so long now. There is nothing I can do to change my situation however , so why do I get treated like a pariah?

Unfortunatly there are ignorant people all over. But at least they didn't lead you on and then hurt you. It still sucks I know. I can not stand people who judge a person on how they make a living or their race etc...I have no tolerence for people like that.

You deserve better than those who chose to ignore you and reject you. You will find someone who understands soon I am sure.

Hard to believe sometimes but there are some good ones out there lol

It's their ignorance, and you are better off with out them. I know many people on disability and for some odd reason, even people on welfare look down on them. Can not figure out why.


Wish it was different. My oldest son is not on disability, but because of where he works, he gets judged.

Unfortunately the ones that are on disability and could work, make the ones that really need it look bad. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Wish there was some way to educate....(and yes kick a few butts) to smarten people up.

Please don't give up hope. Hey at least you don't have a lot of jerks on your MSN (ok dumb attempt at seeing the positive side)

l know how you feel. l am also on disability and have been single for 10 years and have only dated 2 guys in those years. l am still single and havent dated anyone in 3 years. When they find out you are on disabilty they either stop talking to you or just try and get something from you.
l am on disability because l have a bad back and the dr and myself decided that disability would be something l should do if l want to be able to raise my kids and not be in a wheelchair by the time l am 50.
lts not that l am dibilitated and cant do anything, l can do everything a normal bodied person can do....l have just decided that disability is the choice because l cant do anything thats repediative movement and most jobs require that....so l am a stay at home mom and enjoy every moment that l have as what l call a normal life.
l am just as loveable and would love to give what l have to offer to a man but l am not waiting around looking and wondering...l am enjoying life and if that man should decide l am worth the time, well then great...but dont really need one in my life to fulfill me and make me worthwhile.

very well said!

Hi:
How about saying u work from home?

When people judge a person because they are disabled it is disgusting We are human being and all are seeking love and acceptance It is a shame when there are individuals who have a physical or mental disability are discriminated by certain individuals I myself have suffered 2 Motor vehicle accidents in 2 years I am on disability but I am me I can still love I can still take care of myself I still care I love LIFE I am appauled that any body can be so shallow to think that a disabled person is not worthy

yes you are right l could say l work from home but would that be totally honest...l dont think so butthen who am l to judge what someone else would think. l am a stay at home mom, who would rather say l am on disability and then go from there....yes l do work around my home but to say l work from home...no l dont.

l believe everyone has something to offer a man or a woman in a realtionship and even if we cant work, for whatever the reason...l am still a person and should be judged by whats inside, not what l look like or what l can do in life...its what l can offer in a relationship and what l believe in and how l treat people.

Responding to Canadian_Angel 46:
Hi there.

The way I look at it IS ...there is an obstacle that is preventing this lady for having a chance at a good man. Okay, what is that obstacle, it appears to be the word
'disability'. So it shouldn't be said anytime during the initial meeting/getting to know u stage. There has to be a way around that.

Depending on if she would be comfortable saying that. Or how about
I WORK AT HOME! THAT WOULDN'T BE A LIE!

When there is something u want and there is general misinformation and ignorance out there. It not necessarily mean that all men are jerks and stupid.
They just have NOT had an opportunity to see for themselves what a 'disability' might be. U have to give someone a chance, just like u want a fair chance.

So if to get to second base, u have to skirt around the question - what's the harm?

And then, once that person knows u for who u are. They shouldn't have any problem understanding why you stretched the facts a little.

Don't just sit around and wait for that intelligent man to come knocking at your door.
U go and find one. Because there is an understanding and compassionate man out there for you.

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR!

Please know that I genuinely want to help u if I can and I'm only suggesting one option for u.

Thank you for your suggestion , but saying I work at home would be a lie. I think though that what I will do from now on is just say I am not currently employed and leave it at that. If I think the relationship is going anywhere then I will consider telling him everything. This is information I only share with my nearest and dearest anyway , so really a stranger has no right to my personal medical history.

I understand what you are saying; I have worked closely with numerous people who have an assortment of disabilities and the commonality most share is that no one wishes to be identified by a disability, but rather their abilities. A disability, regardless of its nature, is just a small part of who a they are, it is not WHO they are. It is very important that they are not defined by their disability. In addition, because of the lack of understanding surrounding many disabilities, in my honest opinion, many people are scared of being stereotyped and stigmatized. At the end of day, we are all just people, each and everyone unique in their own way with something special to offer.

Hi:
I respect that!
Yes, saying that u're unemployed right now sounds P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
U had the answer all along! U Go Girl! :)

Another subject:
How are u doing with the responses on this site?

Are u getting messages and that's why the dilemma now...even though I guess u have the issue always 'there'.

I've just posted a couple of days ago.

Anything I should watch out for; besides the 'jerks'?

Stay strong!

To be honest I have yet to talk to anyone even from the same country on this site yet. I find most of the messages I get from here , and I am not trying to be rude or mean, are from men in desperately poor third world countries hoping I will marry then and be their ticket to Canada. A few have even been so bold as to say this right up front.

Have u posted on any other sites?

Please DO NOT BE HURT by what I'm about to say.

U are a large woman, u realize that. Okay then, there are men that simply adore large women and wouldn't even look at an average sized woman! Maybe none of them use this particular site.
Isn't there a site for Men looking for Large Women?

Don't beat me up, please!

There is a man out there for u...u have to figure out where he's HIDING and smoke him out!!!

:)

l am not hurt by your message..l am a larger lady and l have been on those sites that are looking for larger woman, still didnt find anyone.
l am seeing someone right now and things are going great, he knows l am on disability and he understands.
l am a happy lady and he is a happy man and hopefully one day we will be living together and be happy together.

Actually canadian angel she was talking to me I believe. Why is it that people feel the need to point out that I am not skinny. I may not be skinny but I am hardly roseanne. I am also 5'8, almost 5'9. I wear a size 10 shoe , my hair is blond and I wear glasses. All of these things are facts which I already know. Someone saying to me " You know you are large right"? Is like someone coming up to me saying "you know you are blond right"? Or , " You know you wear glasses right". Well duh yeah of course I know that .


There is next to no men from my area on this site so this is why on this particular site I get almost no messages except for scammers.As for fat sites, well If I had the money I would consider it , but I don't have 50 bucks a month to waste on fat sites. This site in particular is just not very good for meeting local people in general. Not in my area anyway.

Well, E-X-C-U-S-E M-E !!!

Here I am, TRYING to be KIND to U, TRYING to be GENTLE and COMPASSIONATE and

R-E-A-L-I-S-T-I-C !!!!!! (just like I mention in my profile).

If I hadn't been receiving ooooooodles of mail, flowers from men in Canada, US and some yes, international countries.
And had not received even ONE potential match
AND
someone said to me
"hey, maybe it's because u're CHINESE!

Well, I'd have a couple of choices at that time. I could either IGNORE that person's comment and stay on that site and wait OR go to another site. In your case because it's apparently so redundant and obvious to u how LARGE U are, it shouldn't warrant the bitter response like u posted.

UNLESS U ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR SIZE AND THE SUGGESTION TOUCHED A NERVE!

How long have u been 'waiting' on this site?

How much longer will u wait, fingers crossed, checking your account every 5 mins.....hoping, wishing, praying for just ONE man to even just say "hi, I live in Canada".

With your attitude I will not bother to check this thread.

Ever heard of TOUGH LOVE or WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE?

some poeple use there disability as a crutch,in these cases you only get rep what you sow.
you only get what you project yourself to be..

That wasn't me being bitter. That was me finding what you said funny. It's as funny to say to me that I am large as it is to say to me "you are blond". It's funny because it's obvious . It reminds of people who see someone shopping at a mall and they say something like " so are you shopping?". Why do you think I had up all the little laughing characters? Because I was being funny. However how you flew off the handle really shows your true personality my dear.


By the way you are Asian. See I am just doing the same thing pointing out obvious things that are not insults. It's just a fact that you are asian. It's not an insult, it's nothing shameful, it just is. Same as my height , my weight , my eye color etc... Those are just facts. Not insults.