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If u've both tried ur best to work things out and it's beyond repair....end it.
As for staying together for the kids.........noooooooooooooooooooooooo,my parents did and god I wish they hadn't,the tension of growing up in that house was far from enjoyable.
Legalities are a bitch and not enjoyable but once the worse is over breathing and living becomes easier.
As for another relationship? Not before ur over done and out of this one,but that's my opion,why add to the mess and problems when u don't have to?

Best of luck

Thanks Walley. I am sure each person on this site has their own story to tell. We all get involved in relationships that we expect to last until we die. Of course, living in some of our relationships is worse than death [very bad words]. It is sad for all involved. We all feel/know that we contributed in one way or another to the whole situation. There is a time when we know love is dead. We can try to spark it, but the bad feelings always seem to dampen each effort, plus one of the partner may even try to sabotage your best efforts.

You should not start a new relationship at all, whether or not you end the relationship you are in.

If it does come to an end, and you don't want to be lonely, involve yourself with your friends and/or make new ones, by either volunteering, get involved in your community, or take some classes.

Take time to get to know yourself and what you really want. Starting a new relationship is not the answer




Laff

It is always darkest before the dawn! Not much point in living in misery which will spill over onto the children and have a bad effect on them. When its over its over and that is that. You have to move on and work harder than ever before as you will have to maintain the family home and the kids and pay for a place to live for you too! No roses but at least freedom, no luxeries either. It is lonely out there is there no hope of another shot at making things work with the lady you once loved? Look long and hard and deep surely there is a fibre of what you once saw that can rekindle love! Best wishes and good luck. I will pray for you to make the right decision.

Someone with a big heart and brains to match. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Thank you for your kind thoughts. The fact of the matter is that no one that I know of ever got married to divorce, but we know otherwise.

It is an easy choice. You should end the relationship before starting a new one. Being involved in a new relationship before the old one has ended is only asking for more problems and stress.

i was with someone for 15 yrs. married for 5 of them. No kids so I can only give opinion on that. Things started to slip after we bought the house. he seemed to give up on life and we tried councelling together and seperate....didn't work. he wasn't willing to do anything to help marriage out.
If you have tried getting help and your spouse isn't trying then why not try a seperation. Then she can see what it is like without you and if she will make an effort to get you to come back.
It took me 2 yrs of agony to make my decision to leave. I am happy now, even though I am still alone. I spend more time with friends and family.
No matter the age of kids I don't believe it is healthy for them to see an unhappy relationship. they are more likely to think that is the way it should be when they grow up.
Be civil if you leave as the mother will always be in the picture.
Some ppl who divorce get along better as friends and the kids thrive.
The decision is hard. Talk to friends and spouse about your thoughts. Might make decision easier.
Good luck

I can understand where you are coming form, Babyoh. Sometimes we get burned in a relationship and wait a long time for the person to see how much we are hurting. It could be that the only thing that is required is for the person to acknowledge what they did so both can move on in love. The love is still there but we are afraid to trust them anymore.

But being the selfish fragile creatures that we are, we dig our heels in and wait until finally the love dies or we just move on to new lives(hopefully before we are over the hill).

Has anybody been in a relationship envolving addictions

Hi Lady

I got your drift, but addicted to what?
.Love?
.Sex?
.drugs?
.?
.?

Yes sadly....gambling and drugs....that's why they're exes
It's never an easy thing put there comes a time when things just can't be fixed.

All addictions have the same characteristics, and destructive behaviors.

Be well informed before you take on a relationship with a person that has addictions. It is something that takes over your whole life (in all areas and never in a positive way.)

The emotional and mental ... not sure what to call it... abuse, control, wear and tear that comes with it, takes a toll on the people involved with the person who is dealing/not dealing with their addictions. It's con game after con game.

You can not cure the person with addictions, they are the ones that have to heal themselves. There are times you should stick by them and others, cut the strings and get away as far as possible.

i am going through what you are talking about , his drugs were more important, we also have a house together, soon i will be taking over the payments , as he will be signing over the title to me, If i were you end the relationshipe first , if you want to talk you know where i am aye suzey i will let you know what i have done

well i have gone through that indeed , he is addicted to crack cocain and meth, along with oxy,s not a good sceen, He went on methedone to get off the oxy,s didnt work, He relapsed a year to the date, that he had started the first time, He tried to hide his use from me, It did work for 6 months, But i caught him comming out of the bathroom, with his crack pipe and shit. then he admited he was a drug adict, i took him down to detox, from there he went to a 6 week program in wellend, ( 6 weeks is not long enough), reason he relapst 1 year later, and NOT the treatment he needed, such a treatment is offred in ottawa at Narconon, using certain vitimins , minirals excercise , and saunas 9% success rate , This i understand is where Thames Valley addiction services will be sending him, Have you ever watched the show the cleaner , ? id suggest you do very informative he will be signiiiiing the house over to me so the kids and i wont loose it, at present he lives with his brother, they try to manipulate you into thinking there is nothing wrong with them , they say they can quit any time , NO THEY CANT, they have to addmit they are an addict, and they have to want and seek that help they need, yours, ( i have been there 2 x with him) , i know what i say suzeyHas anybody been in a relationship envolving addictions[ /quote]

( TO LADY FARMER)

(TO LADY FARMER)

I just off them with my oozie!!!

Pull the plug


start fresh
once respect is gone its never the same

yes, but, you cannot change the person with the addictions, they have to want to for themselves. The addictions usually win.

PLEASE tell me this is a joke