Is this cheating?

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Lonely1 Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Sun Aug 3, 2008 9:27 AM CST : Is this cheating?
This is an amazing website. Free emails, free IM, free flowers, free wine, free chocolates........

Intelligent and caring people to chat with, etc. etc.

However, most people on the site will never meet in person. We may end up chatting with many individuals because we like their post, profile, etc. I am not sure if there are any rules about how many individuals we can communicate with at any one time. IF we find someone we really care for and who cares for us: Good Luck.

- Does using this site means we are cheaters? I do not think so.
- Is being honest about other relationships cheating? I do not think so.
- Do we need to tell other users about every other person we communicate with on this website? I do not think so.

What do you think?

help canada
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Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria
Sun Aug 3, 2008 9:31 AM CST : Is this cheating?
No, I do not think it is cheating at all.

It is for single people, primarily, with a view to looking for a partner, but friendships form bonds are made. Some people do meet, are able to.

So, no using this site does not mean we are cheaters.

I do not tell anyone who I chat with, that is not because I purposely want to withold the information, but because I simply choose not to. If I met a person then I would tell who I wanted to tell.



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memotoself winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
Sun Aug 3, 2008 9:37 AM CST : Is this cheating?
my opinion is this ,,, if you can't tell your kids what your doing, then it must be wrong. Lets not be silly and compare this to hiding xmas presents, but things such as drugs, stealing and so on,, you get my drift.

To me being on this site, if you are with someone, and you can ask yourself and answer honestly...."if my partner was doing this? how would i feel? " would you consider it cheating if your partner was flirting online. myself? i would answer HELL YES!! I would want my partner flirting with me not someone letters that pop up one at a time.

thats my opinion and if you want honesty? you have to give honesty
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Lonely1 Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Sun Aug 3, 2008 10:31 AM CST : Is this cheating?
Dear Memotoself:

I get your drift. However, I had a situation where I am told I have no right to ask: what she does, who she sees, where she goes. We all believe women have a right to their privacy - even when they are in a committed relationship - but with men it is different. When a man seeks to clarify the where, when, and how, he is labelled as controlling, etc.

confused
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Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria
Sun Aug 3, 2008 12:48 PM CST : Is this cheating?
Lonely1: Dear Memotoself:

I get your drift. However, I had a situation where I am told I have no right to ask: what she does, who she sees, where she goes. We all believe women have a right to their privacy - even when they are in a committed relationship - but with men it is different. When a man seeks to clarify the where, when, and how, he is labelled as controlling, etc.



Then that is a toxic relationship.

If I had a partner, whether I met him here or elsewhere, I would happily share what I type on her, if he felt the need to know.

But then with the right partner, I would be spending more time with him than on here.

I do not see it as cheating, if my partner thought it was, then he would not be the right man for me.
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mychelle Toronto, Ontario Canada
Sun Aug 3, 2008 1:48 PM CST : Is this cheating?
Lonely1: This is an amazing website. Free emails, free IM, free flowers, free wine, free chocolates........

Intelligent and caring people to chat with, etc. etc.

However, most people on the site will never meet in person. We may end up chatting with many individuals because we like their post, profile, etc. I am not sure if there are any rules about how many individuals we can communicate with at any one time. IF we find someone we really care for and who cares for us: Good Luck.

- Does using this site means we are cheaters? I do not think so.
- Is being honest about other relationships cheating? I do not think so.
- Do we need to tell other users about every other person we communicate with on this website? I do not think so.

What do you think?



I think it all depends, what you want, what you are looking for in a relationship. If you are in a committed relationship already, then
you need to be honest about that, so others don't feel you are leading down the garden path. Just because it is a singles site, doesn't mean that it aids in poor judgment and poor behaviour. As the saying goes, let the person beware.
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Katine76again Moncton, New Brunswick Canada
Mon Aug 4, 2008 8:37 AM CST : Is this cheating?
As long as you are honest about your status and things then I don't see what is wrong with that.

I will be honest (and as you will see..I am a very blunt person lol), I would rather that my partner not be on a dating site and be more communicative with me than some other strangers on dating sites. I myself would not be on here if I was in a relationship with someone. I guess I am just sort of old fashioned you can say lol

I love the forums on here and the people. I have only met a few people from here in person and we are all good friends now. And I hope that someday I get to meet more people. Who knows what the future brings. You just take it one day at a time and make the most of the moment.

You seem quite an honest person judging by your posts. And as long as you are then that is all that matters.

There has to be trust and communcation in a relationship. If there is none then there is no relationship in my opinion.

cheers
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forgivenangel jacksonville USA
Mon Aug 4, 2008 11:48 PM CST : Is this cheating?
Katine76again: As long as you are honest about your status and things then I don't see what is wrong with that.


wink you are hot bouquet
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memotoself winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
Wed Aug 6, 2008 7:28 AM CST : Is this cheating?
I think people reach out to other people, things, online , bars, what have you, because they are missing something, wanting more then what they have. In a truly "real" (which is different to everyone) relationship, a good one, you dont' want more, or need something else because you have it. Obviously we are all here, online for a reason, we are lacking something, be it the communication with another adult feeling the same feelings, going through the same things, needing advice, understanding ,,,the list goes on. We just can't get it where we are in the real world and typing seems to be alot easier then looking someone in the eye and expressing ourselves that way, personally i have a hard time, simply from years of being told i think too much or that my feelings were stupid. I still believe in that old married couple that truly loves each other. I melt and sigh when i see the little old man grab hold of his little old love of his life, take her elbow and help her step off the curb. If my other half were online opening up to strangers i would feel hurt that they couldn't come to me. again, its an open forum and we all voice our own opinions i won't stab you for yours, please don't stab me for mine.
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memotoself winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
Wed Aug 6, 2008 7:36 AM CST : Is this cheating?
Lonely1: Dear Memotoself:

I get your drift. However, I had a situation where I am told I have no right to ask: what she does, who she sees, where she goes. We all believe women have a right to their privacy - even when they are in a committed relationship - but with men it is different. When a man seeks to clarify the where, when, and how, he is labelled as controlling, etc.


Lonely1, Not everyone labels but yes i will admit i am guilty of using the term "typical man" , more so now just to see the response i get. I get the "yeah so" attitude, but more of late , "I take offence to that comment" and a truly hurt feeling. I hate to see people judge on appearances or gender. We are all individuals and should so be treated as such and giving the opportunity to show who we are. I have a problem reading what you wrote, as i've been there not even being allowed to asked who just called? Past instinct give me the feeling of guilt that will be twisted to make you look like the bad guy just for asking. you walk away thinking that you were rude for asking a simple question. Some people are very good at twisting things.
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curlywolf quebec, Quebec Canada
Wed Aug 6, 2008 1:40 PM CST : Is this cheating?
It's only cheating if u're involved with someone and are trying to have a relationship with someone else.
Most of us here have been chatting away with each other here and offline for a while.Some develop closer relationships than others and that's only normal.
I've been lucky enough to make some lifelong friends here and also got to meet a few in person both in canada and the us.
If you're just talking with people there's no harm done.It only changes when u start lieing and leading people on.
JMOgrin
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eyesthatknowwhy Whitehorse, Yukon Territory Canada
Wed Aug 6, 2008 5:24 PM CST : Is this cheating?

Do YOU feel that it is cheating? At the end of the day, you are the one looking in the mirror at you, so....it will be what you want it to be.
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Lonely1 Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Wed Aug 6, 2008 7:06 PM CST : Is this cheating?
curlywolf: It's only cheating if u're involved with someone and are trying to have a relationship with someone else.
Most of us here have been chatting away with each other here and offline for a while.Some develop closer relationships than others and that's only normal.
I've been lucky enough to make some lifelong friends here and also got to meet a few in person both in canada and the us.
If you're just talking with people there's no harm done.It only changes when u start lieing and leading people on.
JMO


Still trying to figure out what JMO means.

So much to say about this. I will reply over time. Yes, people have various opinions re this issue. Read above. Suffice it to say that a rapist is a man who clearly cannot grasp the alternatives and ends up committing an act that destroys both himself and his victims.
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relaxin somewhere, Queensland Australia
Wed Aug 6, 2008 9:20 PM CST : Is this cheating?

I think it really depends on what you are communicating with others about. If your flirting then yes but if its just pal talking and general discussions then no. Anyone who would want to hide anything from me (besides pressies etc) would be seeing the back of my head walking away as there are enough things out there that make relationships hard enough that complete honesty is required to survive happily.

sounds like she has something to hide to me
jmo
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Gulfstar Vancouver, British Columbia Canada
Fri Aug 8, 2008 10:15 AM CST : Is this cheating?
Okay . . . this can be as honest or dishonest any way one chooses to look at ones own morals and beliefs about cheating. For me I am here to meet a partner for life, If it does not happen then it is my choice to continue looking on this site or elsewhere.

But . . . once I have found that elusive woman I shall no longer need this site or a few others, I will then delete my profile.

To continue being on dating sites just raises too many questions and would create some tension in a new relationship although no cares to really admit it, I think it still happens. Who knows, maybe this is an addiction for some individuals.


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walley golden, British Columbia Canada
Fri Aug 8, 2008 10:44 AM CST : Is this cheating?
angel hummmmmmm devil cheating


i beleave morels and skroopls fall in hear

if you are an
(item with some one) you shold flip your sien to looking for frends and be awnest to evry one speshily that some one speshil in your life keep evry one as frends as thay inrichin ower lives as we ma do the same for them

if you dont chang your sine then you are intending to be dishonist and that costatutes cheating and all other low class things

this is the way i se it


ps please exsquse my spelling as im deslexic and some times downt read properly thank you head banger
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KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Fri Aug 8, 2008 7:44 PM CST : Is this cheating?
JMO, if you have to ask that question.... it probably is cheating.

If your partner, knows you come on here, and you only do it to hook up with friends to chat, or read the forums and join in the discussions that is not cheating. But only if that is what you are doing.

If you have some one in your life, and go on a dating site and play dating games...... that is cheating. Playing with some one's emotions on here, it not good. Anyone that goes on here to play games, that could hurt someone else, is .... (please fill in the blanks, my comment might get me banned.)

Cheating is cheating, on any level.
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iamsimply Holland Landing, Ontario Canada
Fri Aug 8, 2008 9:08 PM CST : Is this cheating?

I find where people compromise their honesty is when they start making up stories about why they can't get together with you at a time you both agreed on or at a proposed time! A lot of people say things like I have to work that night but really their shuffling dates and meeting someone else and try to get you to commit too another time. The shuffling dates isn't a bad thing but they should just be honest about why if for no other reason peace of mind!

There are lots of married people on here just looking for a chance to get out with someone else to satisfy their Ego if for no other reason and generally you take them out, have a good time then suddenly they become busy! their the people that are cheating not only on their spouse but on singles trying to seriously develop a relationship!

I've had lunch with women that I thought were interested in me but were real-estate agents trying to sell something. Another woman conned me into taking her to an expensive New Year Eve party, only to find out it was full of her friends and she couldn't afford the entrance fee! I know their scammers but also cheaters!

What really bugs me is the women that contact me from other countries and want money because they visited Africa and no longer have enough money to get home!
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KHD100 Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Fri Aug 8, 2008 10:28 PM CST : Is this cheating?
iamsimply: I find where people compromise their honesty is when they start making up stories about why they can't get together with you at a time you both agreed on or at a proposed time! A lot of people say things like I have to work that night but really their shuffling dates and meeting someone else and try to get you to commit too another time. The shuffling dates isn't a bad thing but they should just be honest about why if for no other reason peace of mind!

There are lots of married people on here just looking for a chance to get out with someone else to satisfy their Ego if for no other reason and generally you take them out, have a good time then suddenly they become busy! their the people that are cheating not only on their spouse but on singles trying to seriously develop a relationship!

I've had lunch with women that I thought were interested in me but were real-estate agents trying to sell something. Another woman conned me into taking her to an expensive New Year Eve party, only to find out it was full of her friends and she couldn't afford the entrance fee! I know their scammers but also cheaters!

What really bugs me is the women that contact me from other countries and want money because they visited Africa and no longer have enough money to get home!


Agree most heartedly with what you just said. (Except in reverse)

Just looked at your photos. Very nice... Ones with the lake are a painters dream. grin handshake
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maryjane420 dartmouth, Nova Scotia Canada
Sat Aug 9, 2008 1:10 PM CST : Is this cheating?
its only cheating if your with someone and don't make it clear on your profile your not looking for a relationship/dating or to even meet people of the site.....i don't cheat my profile makes it clear i'm not looking and only here for forums and if someone doesn't understand that reading it then thats there own fault for misunderstanding
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