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> If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
> even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
> work think of this guy.
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
> Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
> 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
> experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> _____
>
> Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
> lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize it's not so bad after all.
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
> technicalities of my job.
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
> we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater.
> This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
> to a delightful temperature.
> It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
> the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
> several times with no complaints.
> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
> stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
> water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my butt started to burn.
> I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
> In agony I realized what had happened.
> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
> it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
> in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
> reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
> the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
> soon as I got in the chamber.
>
> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
> was swollen shut.
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
> would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
> Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.