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hi tarnsnz.. i was with my ex 16 yrs she was a serial cheater ,the break up was clean so clean that she thought we could still sleep together every know and then my thoughts on that xxxk off its been over 2 yrs know and she still sends texts and tries to ring me but i just ignore ,for my own sanity

My longest relationship was 12 and a half years... the final breakup was pretty clean... I just said... I can't live like this anymore...said it was over then ran out the door It's been nearly a year and we have been talking a bit but I have made it clear I'm not going there again!!!

Yes, keep that sanity, its want keeps us going, cheers

Thats a long time too and you by not wanting to go back, you obviously know you made the right decision are happy for it

Most of my friends are still in long term relationship and have to admit i dont really know any single people apart from dating sites so am just learning about others.

Wonder if it is also a generation thing, as i stayed in my relationship for the sake of my kids as back then we didnt have internet dating sites - probably just as well, or i may have not stayed long term as i did lol

So forgive if anyone thinks i am being noisey, just out of curiousity wanting to know about long and short relationsips.

Just think we know alot more know and internet as a form of communication has maybe changed how we go about meeting new people opened up a new world of meeting people and making friends.

my longest relationship lasted 16 yrs and it was a very messy ending.. violence does that I guess we are civil now and sort of friendly but it took 5 yrs to get to that point !!... we have kids together so in the end it about being adult and mature about it .. he just isn't very mature so it took him a long time to stop being angry and bitter!

my 2nd longest relationship lasted 6 yrs and it has only just recently ended... it was a claytons relationship really and in the end it wasn't enough for me .. it ended clean and lovingly ..
the difference was we never ended up hating each other .. he was a lovely gentle man who I trusted with my life and who I will always think of fondly and with no regrets

we were just not meant to be

it is always better when it ends cleanly...

anger and bitterness are bad for your mental and physical health when its held onto for too long

wa married 11 years and had a defacto for 10 after that. divorce was bitter as i fought for and won sole custody of my son
defacto split up wa also bitter but mainly because of having to sell the house and she wasnt happy to lose her dream home.....

Blondie
Sorry to hear that you were in a violent relationship, not good to hear that about anyone but am glad am happy for you that he came around as children involved and become civil

And by the sounds of it, you still have a friend with the 2nd guy and may find even thou it didnt work and have fond memories -you will probably find that he will always a friend, even for years to come and they often stay for life

thanks tarns .. and no.. decided to put the past in the past where is belongs with the 2nd guy ... I have taken his name out of my phone, my email contacts and IM contacts .. too hard trying to go from soul connected lovers to just friends ... causes unnecessary pain on both sides

he has things he needs to deal with in his life and I need to move forward with mine ... I know I won't attract someone good into my life while I hold onto aspects of my relationship with that guy

Congratations for getting custody of your son as can only imagine is not always easy for fathers and you obviouly proved yourself to be a good parent

Defacto - Unfortunely unless one party can buy the other out, theres no choice but to sell the home, thats life