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Depends on what they are trying to say, who's not listening ??

everyone but me

at least you are

totally agree and you're their dad which matters most, so chin up, waging tail

Awww Kiz....

The boys mother has them for one week of the holidays, it's a court order. She made no arrangements before or during the holidays so we carried on as normal. The boys where going on camp tomorrow for a week and they were keen to go.

The kids lawyer rings thrusday evening telling us their mother is coming to pick them up Friday. The boys didn't want to go they had made other arrangements I said to her. So the oldest rang his mum to tell her he didn't want to go because of camp and because he was going to be one of the youth leaders, the little one told her he didn't want to go and he really didn't want to go without his bother.


friday at 4.00pm their mother had them uplifted by the police and sips.


it was sad

Kismat, I am really sorry to hear that, big

That suks and where the laws in nz suk as children have rights and in cases, should damn well be he heard as well.

As for the mother, well what can ya say, makes no arrangement, then takes dirty way of getting police and sips involved - to me they should be concentrating on real cases of child abuse and not situation like this!

I have gotten to know you Kismat, and you are are good and loving father to ya children and dont blame you for being sad.

I hope you get them back very soon and my heart goes out to you



ps. we are here for you

Yes Kismat I am like Tans , my heart goes out to you & as she said we are here for you

......Really sorry hear this, beings back awful and horrible memories what my Daughter and Son went though the so called 'unbiased' Family Courts here in New Zealand...Yeah right...!!!!!
like you,I am Solo Father to a wonderful,awesome young adult Daughter and young Adult Son ...so I feel your pain...
Actually there was a very interesting program, hosted on 1ZB talk back show this morning on the plight of Decent and caring Fathers here in New Zealand and how they are alienated by the system .....I have joined a group here in New Zealand called 'Fathers support',a great brunch of Guys....Google it...and appraise it your self....Keep strong Mate....Can tell you a awesome Dad....and be proud of that....!!...all the best to you

J.D

--- they do get heard--- eventually

Sorry to hear this Kismat
Kids arent silly they know who loves them.
Being forcefull like that the kids will never forget it.
It will show in their behavour towards their mother.
Maybe to cover your arse next time the kids have camp or other functions, ring her and tell her as soon as you know about an event coming up. That way she cant say you are just holding them to get to her. If she is reasonable she might arrange another time to have access. Dont wait for her to ring. Get in front. Maybe even contact the lawyer aswell. It might take a bit of pressure off the kids too.

Hey Kis, like everyone said we are here for you and feel ehat you are going through. New Zealand does not sound good when it comes to the single dad's and childrens rights. Like previously said the kids will remenber. And having you as their wonderful Dad can only help....

there was no arrangements made from lawyers or there mother, we don't have contact details for her, until thrusday evening when the lawyer rang we were in the dark about the whole thing. That's how we got the contact details for their mother (lawyer), when we got the number and we tried to sort it, but no one cared wat me and the boys wanted including their mother, Police sips judge you name it we tried everyone.

Anyway I just finished talking to them and we're fine it wasn't a nice thing to happen but it won't happen again.

hope so cheers

thanks everyone, sorry for being a

No dont apologise we are all here for you so dont worry .

That sucks Kis!! I agree with everyone, all you can do is the best that you can do and you sound like an awesome dad. The bureaucratic red tape that decent parents have to jump through to get what is right for their kids is bullshit, these systems need an overhaul and actually start protecting children rather than burying these issues in paperwork until nobody has any idea of what is going on.

I agree the system sucks they uplifted the boys and took them away to someone without doing any checks. Lucky my boys are not in that situation. How do they justify that, no wonder sips gets themselves into so much trouble. There's been no sighting of where there going it could be a P house for they know