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Two boys were walking through a wood when they come across a large pile of Wabbet poo. One of them says:
"What's that?" The other replies:
"If you eat it, it'll make you smarter." So the lad scoops a handful and chews on it.
"This tastes like absolute crap" he splutters.
"See, you're smarter already" replies the other.

My poo makes people smart......

A Tasmanian brother and sister are having sex, going for it flat out like two lizards drinking. The brother starts laughing which, understandably upsets his sister.
"What are you laughing at?" she grumps at him.
"Ahh it's nothing, really. Just a random thought".
"bullshit" she replies, "tell me what you're laughing at!"
"Oh alright!, it's just that you fuck like mum"
"Oh is that all...yeah I know, Dad told me that ages ago"

A guy is down at the beach and he sees an ice cream van.
On the side of the van is a sign which says that they can do any flavour ice cream you can think of.

The guy goes up and asks for fanny flavoured ice cream.
So the ice cream man starts to mix this and that, makes a scoop of ice cream puts it in the cone and gives it to the guy.

A couple of minutes later the guy comes back and says to the ice cream man...

This ice cream tastes like SHITE

The ice cream man says........ well take smaller licks

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a lemming into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that lemmings do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the lemming, and they make no apologies. The lemming had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a lemming! I'm a lemming!"

It was a rabbit, not a lemming

Fakes & Multiple Profile Disorders


Just bad taste jokes

2 poof’s in a bath one does a poop and the other one starts cuddling it. the 1st poof says, what are you doing? and the 2nd poof replies: I’m washing our babe.

That's not bad...

That's awful!!!

Rednecks.......

Redneck daughter goes up to her dad and asks if she can borrow the car... he replies sure, if she gives him a Bjob.

Redneck daughter starts, and then screws up her face and says to Redneck Dad... yer d*ck tastes like sh*t!!

Redneck Dad looks at her and says Yeah sorry but, the dog wanted to go for a walk earlier.

loved this one, have never heard it before.

Hey shell. Congrats btw

Thank you

2 gays are getting it on (not that there's anything wrong with that)when their house catches fire. Which one got out first?

the one on top or the one on the bottom?