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OK throwing this question out to the universe lol

So everyone why is most males, well ones I seem to meet/date, only want a casual bonk or shag buddy - not saying that is negative - we all have our needs and agendas. But beats me how so many can't be open to a mind connection with someone and let it develop if chemistry is there.

Maybe fear who knows.... I just find it all very frustrating....

Hi Annie
It's not that I don't want a girlfriend, it's that the idea of actually having one that terrifies the living begeeezes out of me!

As Harry Commically says; Its a psychological thing.

By taking the sex but pretending we want nothing else helps us to pretend we don't need anyone else to depend on. That we can cope on our own. And we can also pretend we aren't giving up any of ourself to another person.


You can play the game or you can make them face upto themselves.

Note:If you pretend to play the game remember it has a time limit. Play it too long and they will begin to believe there fantasy.

So when you do get around to pushing for something more concrete they believe they can survive on there own and find sex anytime, or suddenly realise there fantasy isn't real and panic.

And leave you on your own.

Hi D Man

You're at least partially correct but what if you're not really after sex either?

There is a part two on this as well GoGirl. Just having a shag buddy is a lot cheaper. In the mans Mind your both just there for sex. No wining and dining. No Valetines and no special gifts to make them feel special.

How does that tie in.

Firstly what male doesn't want sex.

Secondly If the male only wants a mate then don't cross that line, and ensure upfront that that is all your both there for Mates only.

Man this place is getting technical

I know...I don't like it. You should see what's happening in the INTNs.
Sooner or later someone's going to be posting pornographic images or pictures of goats or roosters. What's this place coming to.

Well then lets both of us let CS know we aren't impressed by sending personal messages to the Ops.

But you can't please everyone can you.

My dearest Annie... thought you had been quiet. Hugs girlfriend am assuming some bstrd has just burnt your kind wee heart again.

It is a numbers game annie... you have to ply the bad with the good. Unfortunately when it comes to internet dating there are a lot of guys who have a lot of baggage, kids, emotional issues, finanacial issues or something in their past to keep them on phobic mode...!! . Keep your head up and your heart safe and make em work for the sex. Men are true hunter gatherers. My saying is that you are worthy of being loved well not just loved. Anyone can say they love you it is how they demonstrate it that makes the difference. If a man is interested in you he will do the chasing. If he is not going to then we have to learn to leave well alone otherwise we get hurt. But nooooo we still persisit in trying to make them like us. This should be both our new years resolutions. Treat em mean ....keeps em keen. !!! You are worthy of being loved well Annie you are such a great lady.

Hi Karen

I'm more of a farmer.



On a side note: I've discovered that there are a lot of Kiwis here in Rossland, BC, Canada. Has anyone ever heard of it? It's a ski hill not too far from my brother's place where I'm at right now.

OOOOPS! I forgot to say it's called Red Mountain resort in Rossland, BC.

Nope never heard of it. But canada is a favourite for kiwis.

If you look hard enough you find us everywhere for a short time.

Hey Harry, hope you are home now safe and sound in one piece and got your car probs sorted ??

I do know a few people who go to Canada skiing not quite sure where they go!! They go each year an annual pilgrimage!! So it must be worth going to as we have great ski fields here too!!

Are you still planning your trip over this way?

I'm more of a Reclusive hoarder. I don't like giving things up i claim.

But your almost there Karen.

It also involves type. when you figure that part out you'll be 70% there.

Its like woman when do you apply the rule of generalization and when do you treat them like an individual.

When you do your burnt, when you don't your burnt.

I'm still in BC and will likely be heading home sometime this coming week. My car is resting comfortably in a snowbank at my cousin's place right now and will likely be there until spring.

At this point I'm thinking I probably won't be coming to Aus. for a while. I spent more money than I intended to on my house and soon another vehicle as well as something else I'm currently working on. I should have just said F**K IT with everything else and hopped on a plane in November but that's not the way it worked out. There's always time later and I doubt Aus. or NZ are going anywhere.

I don't know harry. It will only take one Quake or One Wave.

Or Aussie deciding they need a tax shelter and buying us out

Sorry to hear the run of incidental costs. Weather you just can't rely on it. Did you sue your brother for placing Snowbank just there.

Hey Harry,
Sorry to hear you are no longer visiting harry. No doubt we will all still be around when you do decide to visit. Make sure you put Tauranga on your map when you do. Am always happy to take the canadian farmer out to our families farm and show him how we do it kiwi style!
Farm that is ...:-)))

Yes know about the car deal, mine is having to be replaced as well... have now got a masters degree in researching what is the best trade in, auction sites and repo car places. Hopefully will have a new car by the end of the month and hopefully before mine blows up and i leave it on the side of a bank for someone to strip and burn !! No seriously it is an ok car but needs too much work done for the age it is not worth fixing usual story lol!


Drags..... you still winding me up about Aussie....

i am afraid you are a lost cause and have no loyalty to our beleagured country.... one would imagine you would apply to be the auction master should it ever go up for mortgagee sale !!!

They are morons.. plain and simple.



In my experience, I have encountered those that want a fuck buddy, and oh those that also want a fuck buddy..

Male thing perhaps? scared? (doubt it!) I met a guy last year, a family friend so not off a site, and he was telling me how he is on some sites and meets up with chicks and counts how many notches in his belt he can get.. then he gets pics of the chicky babes (xxx ones) and brags to his mates.. This is the MAIN reason I would rather stay single.

The using and abusing and bragging is what I find a huge turn off and thus far, I have only really met this kind of male.

Still searching for a nice honest one and I think I will be searching a loooooong time!

I don't know why they aren't into Dating/relationship, I think there is so much "variety" on the net now that they can all be picky and choosy and only want sex not the whole package.. Goes for women too but I find the men are more into the internet dating and finding randoms and not wanting commitment.



Hope you're well chickadee.. have fun!

yep or be like me and end up on a video on you porn !!!















na only joking...had you for a moment though!!!
Pretty easy to happen :-(