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am farked also

we cant always expect ppl to have open qualities.

some ppl are just scared of the unknown.

ppl without kids need time to adjust to the requirements of having children but you cant force them to want you with them...

for stability for my kids i dont include them into most of the get to know each stuff, until i am sure there may be more developing and then its slowly..

Whilst you are proud of your hypothetical son, would that senario really represent reality? I mean seriously, a 20 yr old guy is far more likely to want to spend his paypacket on his car and alcohol then on Julie and her screaming kid.

To true



not all kids are screaming though

Hey guys,

In agreeing with this statement, I would like to mention my experience with going out with a girl with an 18 month-old girl; She was a lovely girl and we found a deep and beautiful connection - even the link between the daughter and I grew strong, and I was willing to take on the responsibility so that I could be with this wonderful woman, or so I thought.

Problems arose when I EVER brought up becoming MORE involved in the child's life - IRONICALLY - because apparently 'I'm not a parent so what would I know'... Therefore ALL my ideas were answered with pretty much that phrase... Plus, as an added bonus (I even asked this directly to this woman) I was always going to be second best to this child no matter the circumstances; and because I "wasn't a parent so what would I know" I was also told that the father's (the ex's) rules would carry weight over mine IN MY OWN HOME if we were ever to live together...!! Even though he was apparently 'an arsehole and a bad dad' and I was 'much more attentive than him...' These are all quotes of what she said to me...

Dare I say, FUCK THAT!! So, including me, alot of young men I've heard of have actually been PUSHED AWAY for trying to be MORE committed to the child of another - explain that to me!!

So if the tables turn when you find a good committed man, my friend, and you find yourself all-of-a-sudden unwilling to LET this man into your child's life for some strange reason, even after complaining that you can't FIND a committed man - drop me a line and let me know why.

I don't mean any offence to anyone but this relationship I'm talking about just ended for basically those reasons, and I am very upset at the way she belittled me when ALL I WANTED was to BE COMMITTED like SHE ASKED ME TO BE!!!

Love to all

You may now not wonder so much why SOME men tell you to go away...........They're probably shit scared that they'll get almost castrated again for attempting to BECOME a part of the child's life... Thats not to say you'll do that, you probably won't, but given my example isn't rare, I'd say thats what's happening more than you think...

Be well all

I see this thread ended abrubtly after my statements...

So that means I either answered everyone's questions (unlikely) or pissed alot of you off... (much more likely)

Sorry if my personal experience seemed rudely stated or over-the-top, I didn't think so but hey...

Best wishes to all, if anyone has a further opinion, given some 100 views of this thread have occurred since I seemingly 'ended' it with my statement, someone out there must have an opinion. Lets hear it.

Good spirit to all
Imzati

dw man, a lot of threads round here die pretty fast

Hey There is an art to sustaining a blended family obviously your ex wasnt prepared to comprimise .Parenting roles are diverse & difficult to maintain at the best of times but without communication your basically fucked !.Sounds to me like the communication broke down .
I do understand that a man has a lot to loose when he enters into a relationship with a single mum if it all goes south so do the kids ..your left with nothing not even any rights to access & this is often heartbreaking for the step father/mother.
My opinion is to enter into any relationship slowly ,communicate openly about the role youde like to play in it & see if your on the same page .If not then move on
JMO
Kizzy

No!!! and don't you belive it hang in there

I have a 17 month old daughter and im not worried at all about it scaring some guys off. Just see it as filtering out the bads, If someone is turned off you because of your child then they arent worth it and you wouldnt of lasted anyways. If someone loved you enough they would take you and your child as a package and see it as a great thing, so dont let it get you down
be really fussy and dont take second best, You need someone who will love your child as they're own. Also most guys in their 20s dont want to settle down at all. Just a thought :P

Also i noticed your only looking for guys 20-25? realistically guys that age will not want to settle down with a woman and her child, you might get lucky tho...
Quite a few young single mothers cant even commit to themselves and they smoke or drink whenever they can...maybe this turns the guys off?
Me personally feel that at the moment im better off alone and im only here for a chat and to maybe make some friends :P. My daughters dad and i were supposed to get married but he cheated on me, so i dont have any time for him anymore (only when my daughter needs to see him) But its good to see your going to university next year, so am i...im doing a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and sociology, looking forward to it
Anyways, best of luck and take care of your child

honestly most guys aren't interested in dating a girl with a kid, but that doesnt mean that some wont, either that or the ones your contacting are the really good looking guys who have so many options that because you have kid you go to the bottom of the list. its not about you, its about the male way of thinking. dont give up cause there are still some good guys out there you just have to look very hard to find them. some guys like myself love kids and would be happy to be in a relationship with them but its finding those guys thats the hard part. so perservere and good luck

not every is like that.. look around I am sure you will find some one who will genuinly accept you with your kids..