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This is in response to an article I read on "STUFF". About Sex addiction and how it is becoming out of Hand. (Bloody Masturbaters should keep their hand on it shouldn't they ). The Psychologists imply they should be rounded up and bought in for Re-Education.

OK I've summarised. But your welcome to go read the article.

My next post is my response to that article. It is not religious nor is it political. It is only a reflection of Personal and society morals.

It should be a completely safe and open debate.

Sex Addiction a serious problem.

More psychotic babble. It is scientific fact that some
have a higher sex drive than others. Who is going to tell
who that their sex drive is abnormal. And who is going to
put up there hand and say what normal is.
Boy do i wish i was part of the scientific experiment to
find out what is a normal sexual appetite.

Seriously Its not how often or how much we have sex with
ourselves or with others. Its a question of changing the
attitudes to sex, of both sex's. Its about not thinking
that sex should only happen behind a closed door. Sex;
Like kissing and holding hands, is about cementing a bond
and union between two people. It shouldn't be hidden away.
It should be openly expressed and encouraged.

During the 60s it was, by the then young. But their
attitude changed as they got older.They (mostly)shied away
from thier beliefs of that supposedly sex filled era.

And for some reason it is frowned upon by society to show
expressed physical love in front of minors. And yes I
admit that is a very sensitive kettle of fish and would
require some major re-education. (I am not encouraging nor
promoting peadophile activity). But to have a kid say to
his mate "Oh they're just having sex" as though it
happened daily and was no big deal; Is so far away from
reality its sad.

Sex between a married couple should be like having coffee
for breakfast. No big deal and available whenever you want
it. Reality is no where close to that. And thats the part
that needs to be addressed by the educationalists of the
world. When that happens, Is when you'll see the change in
sexual crime numbers.

I dont think sex should be openly had in front of children but i do believe that affection should be openly displayed between 2 consulting adults but not to the extreme.

I feel that is it important that children should be honestly taught about the facts of life, sex and awareness of health issues but not frightened and encouraged to be honest and open with their parents or an adult that they trust to inform them of protecting themselves against pedifiles and diseases. that it is natural and beautiful for consenting adults to have sex.

the importance of self esteem is why ppl dont like mirrors because ppl dont always see what someone else see in them.

Yeh i believe that it should be like, hot and sweet to taste first thing in the morning. but it might put the kids off their coco pops if done at the brekky table.


physico babble - who showed these ppl what normal is any way???

i wish i was part of the experiment to .....

It seems Relaxin we are on similar wave lengths here. Hard for us to debate unfortunately when it appears we're on the same side.

Although again who is to say what is extreme and what is normal.

It's a shame. Here are two people on the same wavelength in regards to the act of sex and sex education. And if there are two here then surely it wouldn't be hard to find more.

So Then: Why is there so much misunderstanding and so much of "OH I wouuldn't or couldn't do that". And why is it there are so many Males walking around saying they don't get sex often enough.

Why does there appear to be such a large gap between reality and theory.

Read any sex survey. One of the first questions asked in every survey is how often do you have sex with a partner.
And the results appear; that on average people have sex once a week.
Now is this Really Fact or Fiction.

If fact; Isn't that often enough. Or do both sex's need it more often. Is it this fudging of reality and feeding of misinformation that is causing the problems. If so then we can blame the media. Not the medical and educational services.

Or do we just blame ourselves for trying to fudge results so we can blackmail others with those results.

From personal experience I got sex once every 4 to 6 weeks. And whilst I would of preferred once a fortnight or possibly once a week. I know I didn't want it anymore often than that in a long term relationship.

i dont know but if happy i have a higher sex drive than once a week but keep me cranky and you on your own with ky jelly for a 1yr




Its all lies its all lies its all lies hahaha dont believe anything you read.

why do ppl fudge the figures.???? it really doesnt help find any answers for anyone..

i am not normal, weird and stubborn to boot but i like who i am so


personal i would prefer sex with batteries than quite a few guys that i have experienced ..... i am sure that they forgot that there were 2 ppl involved

i feel that everyone needs to be encourged to think outside of the square and try things a little different in sex.
but thats coming from someone who doesnt even order the same meal twice in any restaurant, or drink the same coffee/alochol all the time..

I don't see anything wrong with showing affection to the one you care about in public, weither it be kissing, hugging or holding hands and whatnot......but sex in public?....errr no lol. There are still people in the world who are still caught up in a time period for which it was deemed a sin for showing affection in public, that time is gone and left in the dast to be blown away.

In reguards to sex ed in schools i do not think its beeing taught as well as it can be, i can honestly admit that i learnd more about sex ed and the like by reading biology and medical texts then listening to a teacher in class....then again it was like that with everyhting else at school as well lol. I think that teaching a more in depth study of sex ed in schools and aimed at a younger age groupe can and will decress the numbers of teenage/unplanned pregnancies and the like.

All in all, just my veiw

actually i think that sex ed in schools give kids the wrong impression at the wrong age group.

i really think that parents should be the ones to educate their children..... but then the conservate ones may leave their kids in the dark which could be very dangerous..

my son asked me what sex felt like when he was ten ....... the answer i believe last well and truely in to his teenage years (when i asked him a few years ago about sex his reply was a reasonable one and i asked who taught him that ...... dont you remember our chat mum ) i honestly answered from a gal point of view..

though i have asked other mums what they would have said and i would have considered my reply to have been very indepth compared to most ...

sex isnt about facts and figure its about respect and emotions of 2 or more ppl ...

i hope i have done the right thing..... i dont like giggley children when you mention sex

I agree with you there totally,i know for one that my parrents didn't talk about it to me when i was young, i had to find out all about it on my own. I also agree with you that the parents should also talk to their children about sex and alot of detail cant go to far otherwise they may missinturperate what was ment to be said. I know for one i wasn't one of those gigly children in class,although i can't say the same about eveeryone else so yea i agree with ya there as well, i think its silly to laugh at such things

if only 1 of mine had chatted to me about keeping safe and smart i wouldnt have had to learn about sex the wrong way.... but it has taught me to teach my child to be smart and safe.

family history has a lot of abuse in it but noone had thought to teach our generation to be smart and safe..... embarrassment was their governing factor because of the generation that thing happen to them it was hush hush and tell no one but it cost generations of childrens innocence because of pride and community statue.

When some tells me that is a hush hush subject

they are allowing these animals get away with it..

I share the same oppinion as you Relaxin, i not long ago was watching an eppisode of Dr Phill that entailed such a thing and i must say i was appauled by what the childs grand parents had done to cover it up: how could anyone do that to a child is eyond me, it makes me sick to think that people do that. I feel so sorry for the children who have gone through such an ordeal,no child, or any one for that mater should have to go through that

Hi everyone....

good topic as usual Andrew...and some very good points of view from everyone. One thing that hasnt been mentioned though is the sex "education" that most young people get from the media..eg TV..magazines etc. Young girls look up to people like Paris..Lindsay etc who change partners faster than their underwear and a lot of young people think this is cool.Do any kids have a long enough "innocent" period in their lives to grow up and except the responsibility involved with a mature sex life. So many unwed mothers at very young ages...seems the sex education in school isnt working too well.

Sex education at home...depends on how lucky we are with the knowledge our "teachers" have and what attitude they live by. Do we get a good education if our mother hates sex because our father is inept....inconsiderate..or just plain ignorant?.

Attitudes towards sex change...even in our own lives...depending on circumstances...partner...knowledge.

Masturbation is still a hush hush word...but is the biggest educator...by learning what feels good to you is the best way to explain to a partner what turns you on...if your lucky enough to find one who listens and cares.

Sex with the right person...you cant beat it...and its free....sure beats going to the movies or watching TV........

I was going there next as well Riva, after reading what Relaxin and arty wrote.

From personal experience.

So this only applies to me. But my sex education came from Penthouse magazine and the forum section. Mind you in regards to school and their enlightened sex education. I did learn how flowers did it. Man talk about Kinky. Flowers let a third party do all the dirty work. I can't say I'd appreciate a third party in my reproductive system. I'd always be skeptical over who was the real man. Especially if child had dark skin.

In schools where they fall down is that they concentrate on the reproductive side. And not on sex.
There is a joke that highlights this point exactly.

I'm sure you've all heard it about the lecturer up in front of class and he makes the statement that protiens are a sugar and that semen are a protien. When a girl raises her hand and says why does it taste so sour. Upon suddenly realizing the repercusions of her statement she upand walks out of class. As the door starts to close the lecturer replies. Its because your sour receptors are at the back of the tongue, the sweet receptors are at the front.

Sex is not about protein and reproduction. Its about a mental and physical state. Its about how it makes you feel. And schools refuse to step into this territory.
Yes I believe we all need to learn safe sex. Yes we all need to learn the results of sex and unsafe sex. And we should all learn about conception and what happens over the next nine months. But we all so need to learn how to have sex and what the difference is between sex and great sex.

Masturbation is still a tabu subject outside of ridicule and joking. No one will discuss it seriously or admit to it. One can't do one on one teaching of techniques as this is too close to paedophile behavior and exhibitionism and public exposure. All Laws any sensible person wouldn't cross. But need to be looked at.

Which brings me to a wish I'd like to see: Of Prostitution made legal. And these people using that law to open sex schools. To teach and educate people in classroom like situations with practical demonstrations. Yes sure they need to have there certificates to show they've done their health checks. But I still think this is a good idea. It brings legitamacy to the sex world. It removes the stigma that poor little shy men carry around with them everytime they slink down a dark alley or into a back room to hand over hard dollars for two minutes of guilt ridden pleasure. And a Husband and Wife having bedroom troubles can go find a professional trainer to aid and assist them in finding pleasure in what is suppose to be a beautiful experience.

Many a young girl has used this means to put themselves through university. Why should they be ashamed of it.

But back to those years of innocence. This is where Masturbation comes in and should be promoted. I'd be very amazed to find a boy who hasn't jerked off by the age of 14. And i'd seriously ask why he hasn't. I bet nine out of ten times it will be to overstrict upbringing. Now females i have no idea when most have learnt about masturbation and started practicing. I don't even know if it is common or not.

But I would like to see sexual intercourse saved for Marriage. Masturbation and great sex education carry you over those intertwining years. Sure those hot nights of making out can lead to oral and mutual Masturbation (You go peopleYeah get naked) But refrain from actual intercourse . You still have anal and breasts and feet and Role playing touching kissing massaging and learning. This teaches both Parties to reach out and touch and move and seek fulfillment.

Males if we practiced more of this instead of trying to get into her knickers and ramming our tool home there would be a lot more happier woman out there and possibly a higher potential of happier and sexual marriages.

I Remember those days. And a lot of our playing up was to make the teacher ill at ease and put them off. Yeah we were naughty. But what they tried to teach us was boring. And a Nude body cut in half for scientific purpose's is so un arousing.

I agree as well Relaxin. We learnt from our Mother. But when it came to sex or anything in that vane of thinking our Mum was entirely un approachable.

Actually happened. My older Brother came of age. 13 yrs there abouts. So mum bought 4 encyclopedias on the human body and growing up(A Set). She placed them on the Bookshelf and then to all three of us said read these and if you have any questions please come ask. I don't think those books were ever read and I doubt anyone ever asked.
We'd of given each other absolute shit if we'd seen anyone near those books or if anyone had asked.
The ridicule wasn't worth it.

So we were left with stealing dads Mags. Which we never got in trouble for. Hmmmm I'm sure he knew.
If they had only talked to us. With Dad it was something never talked about; Then it went to well you know everything so it was joked about openly. (This is many years after the seperation).

But the schools are asked to teach sex, to try and get a standardised level out to all kids. Because no one Parent will teach exactly the same way with exactly the same message.
My parents weren't exactly abusive to each other but I believe there was a big miscommunication in the world of sex. And that reflected back on how they were raised.
But that is all assumption on my part to what I glimpsed of my Family life and to what I've learnt about sex and life since.

i didnt learn from mags or from school about all this stuff..nor did my mum or dad tell me anything
i started going to parts with friends when i was 14 and got laughed at alot cause of what i didnt know, and was mainly tought by my frineds or random guys that where at the partys..at the time i thought it was ok and was having a ball, but now i know i look back and think...how did i not know this stuff?
at school they didnt really teach us much except about how guys and girls bodys work, not really about any of the other stuff...i think its wrong how most kids have to find out most things on their own, people need as much guidence as posible expesualy youth that are still looking for their sexuality aswell as who they are inside, most people dont realy consider the other person they are having sex with, its normaly about how its making them feel...statistics may not be completly right but there not to far of either in showing that although most teens may enjoy it, its mostly peer presure...
..
.....ok well i think i got a lil of topic not sure lol i have a habbit of rambling and changing subjects alot...cant be betherd going back and reading everything again though

well anywasy thats what i think
Bubs

(my sex education came from Penthouse magazine and the forum section. ) mmmmmm

Our first impressions are those gleaned from any scource we can gather...unfortunately usually from friends who make it up as they go along.....

does sex education ever stop?

I like to learn from every experience I have (in a long term relationship). However ultimately the only one to educate us is ourself. As humans we are to diverse in our likes , dislikies , thoughts to have a set rule or rules of what we should or shouldnt do in sexual encounters. The bottom line is it comes down to us to first understand our selves and our own bodies....no one can teach us that. An example is that not many women experience orgasm...take away an inexperienced partner and mostly it comes down to not knowing what touch you need to bring you to orgasm..so experiment...and learn to feel comfortable with it...learn to be comfortable with your own sexualityand sensuality. Its only when you are comfortable with yourself that you can feel comfortable with someone else..and you become the teacher...after all its your body your talking about.....

I shall cut this out and place it in my wallet. And in my next relationship I shall bring this out for her to read and from there we will move on together. Well written Riva.

Bubsy you weren't of subject. Relax your words are just as valid as anyone elses. After all its the individuals choice to read or to skim or to ignore. So let them worry if your on topic or not.

Peer pressure has a lot to do with the pace of how children learn and how society sees what is acceptable..



what i would like to do is to have my children learn to take it at their own pace

and not be scared to tell others off about the pressure on issues that are raised


sometimes i think we all like a good olde ramble

i think those glossie mags have a lot to answer for if it keeps some pervs off the street bothering the innocent ones.....

Yeh wonderful roll models we have happening in the media, i think the prob is that b4 we realise that they have gone offf the rails our children already look up to them. its just nice when they clean up their acts and do the public remorse about their actions....

not that it happens often but it is nice.



i think the debate is a fizzer though, wheres the arguement happening at ??????

it is a good topic