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When someone cheats ,theres a reason for it .
That reason is & can only be that they are not completley satified in the relationship they are in.
If your happy with your partner,The way they comunicate,the way they contribute,the way they interact within your world,the way they make love,show love,they way they take pride in themselves the way they make you feel holistically ,then & only then will you find true happiness.

If you are truly happy there is never a thought of straying,faithfulness is guarenteed,security assured.
If someone cheats or strays this is saying hey There is something not right ,I am lacking something within this relationship.If you feel this you should discuss it open & honestly & strive towards filling this void ,
I read a great book called the five love languages ,basicaly it works on the theory that we all have our own unique needs, each of us has a "love tank" that needs to be filled each day ,The 5 languages are "words of affirmation", doing things together, quality time, giving & recieving ,touch & communication.We all need to look into ourselves & each other to determine the one thing that is the most important then endevour to fill our partners "love tank "every day.

A healthy relationship,requires each person fulfilling each others needs both basic & particular.
When this is achieved & you are both living in total love no one will ever stray.

JMO
Kizzy

DragonDog4,
Your right there were cracks which do appear in every relationship and it is a combined effort to resolve those issues, not going a f... a third party and thinking thats the answer to your problem.
You do start to trust with kids and errands again but never fully with your heart.
I gave my man all the freedom he wanted because I trusted him, as a consequence he took it for granted he used me as a doormat and knowingly took away something very special, my own well being. Yes I do understand why it happended and it all comes down to being selfish and looking after no. 1. Many men married or not just simply follow their tools around, & the women who do it in my view simply just don't care - only for themselves.
Maybe its me with the wrong attitude, but I don;t think so.

Why take on the pig when you can have a little sausage - something to think about maybe?

well once again thank you for what you all have said some of you have got very good points on this topic and i do think it would be hard if kids are in the picture but i think the most important thing you have in a reletionship is trust and once they cheat that trust is gone.

so its hard to trust the person again and i dont believe in payback or getting the person to me you only lower yourself to there level and what is the point it does not take away the hurt or pain you suffer.

yeah ok you might feel good for awhile but the pain is still there but please do keep leave commets on this topic.

one last thing my friend said that the best thing to do with a cheater if its a guy is kick them so hard where it hurts.

i will say i dont agree with that but that what she has done to guys that have done it to her.

It depends on the person mate.
I am an easy going bloke but anyone cross me I just walk away, couldn't be bothered putting negative energy in the universe, already to much. Perhaps being an ambo has helped my tolerance level.
Cheers buddy

as i have been the person being drop kicked to the curb..... i think your right but i was young and stupid and in circumstances that were really confusing at the time.. i apologised and fully accepted all of the backlash. after a time i was told i was forgiven but in reality no one ever forgets and it does make the relationship suffer... i dont advise anyone to do things out of guilt for every1 suffers and more in the long run, than a clean break. There is a problem in the relationship if either person strays, that is the real problem, that needs work. trust never is the same and the level of relationship has a lessor value to both parties

well thats my opinion any way

I think people only cheat when they dont want to be with the person their with or have lost their deep feelings for them.

Im a firm believer of the fact that when your with someone you are truly in love with, you wont cheat..it wont even cross your mind!

SO if someone has cheated on you..the relationship may be beyond repair (I think its true in most cases..but not all..I guess you will know deep down..)

Beautifully put.

I agree to an extend, some people are just plain serial players or think the grass is greener then regret their actions when they realise it is not. It is more honorable to dump them first other than play the field while still attached. I was dating someone recently and realised it just was not going any place I wanted to go so I decided to end it and approach it maturely rather than just get my rocks off and stay looking. Not tooting the horn just think its better in the long run to really think about why and what you want and play fairly in both love and war.

But yes if they play and stray simply don't stay run away to find love another day.

Well said

don`t even look back

Depends on
a) is it a serious relationship
b) what circumstances led to it
c) is there honest and open communication between both parties obviously not otherwise they wouldnt feel cheated ..

If they cheat once they will cheat again. If you are willing to put up with that kind of relationship, then so be it. But if you feel uncomfortable with it, then leave, you will be continually hurt

Nah just shag their sister and mother.

Yes there are couples that have seemed to overcome this but look a little deeper and im sure you will find a very insecure couple it is not something that can be erased and you will always hold that niggly little feeling in the back of your mind and who wants to live like that? I think it is the lowest form of disrespect and if you whether you aimed to break someones spirit or not it is what it does. If you care or even respect someone you dont hurt them like that. so YES kick them to the kerb im with on that

Once a cheater always a cheater and you as a person deserve better than that!! take care

kick them into space i reckon.

Coming from a society that has practiced polygamy for thousands of years (chinese), the fact that i personally wouldn't cheat and place such emphases on a single relationship is perhaps a testimate to western culture. That being said situations depend on circumstances and while both violence in a relationship is abhorant to me personally i nevertheless would like to quote Chris Rock here "Anything can give you a reason to hit, Sh*t theres a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs, JUST DONT DO IT" and if you are ever in a relationship where you are considering physical violence on your spouse then get the h*ll out of that relationship.

Personally i tend to be the forgiving type if it was a first offense, i would view it as something that I'm doing wrong, I'm not keeping her interested enough, I'm not spontaneous enough, I'm not loving enough, etc.

I do however have that ONE golden rule that i would never EVER allow my partner to break and would never forgive, and thats carrying another man's child, I'm big on family values i Want children but i want them to be MY children i just couldn't see myself raising another man's child not ever. i know that may seem masochistic and cruel and whatnot but thats my golden rule, and i stand by it