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How they hanging Red..

shouldn't I be asking you that?

There sitting up quite perky with hard nips

How you doing Dawgz???

Yummy

Fanx

Totally agree.

I personally find it ok that a man has children and how he interacts with his children... I like the maturity thing

I am a mother of two great children 17 & 20 years
and i did not date during their youngers years due wanting to give them all of my time that i had to give, because you only have one chance to get it right while they are young enough to see the eg set for them, i did not want to hide them from any one and i did not want them to see and think it was ok to have many partners in and out of life , i wanted them to believe in the committment of marraige and that it can still work ,infact i have been to meet a couple of guys (3) this year and they have been part time dads, which is great of them to stay commited but they have no time to give to a new partner. like kizz said.

i find most other peoples children to be great a as i do work with them every day, when they come here they need their manner polished and their socail skills reminded i also teach them to be attentive , but if i was to date a single dad it would be hard to watch them be rude and behave badle without having to do or say any thing about it ,

so hear goes I DONT NEED TO MEET OR BECOME PART OF THEIR LIVES IT IS ALSO VERY HARD ON THE CHILD TO GO THREW ANOTHER BREAK UP IF IT DOES NOT WORKOUT BETWEEN YOU.


GGOD LUCK

cgd

See that's the whole thing I'm trying to work out right now.

I have three, one has yet to start school, and have only been out from under the same roof as them for just under a year now. So in one way I haven't even re-found my feet yet. We're all in the same city and they're over twice a week, so anyone I date/end up with will be crossing paths with them a lot, and my ex.

One date just couldn't accept I would contact my ex to organise changeovers/pickups, and discuss parenting issues about them. She wanted everything to be done through a third party, like my mother.

So this makes things a bit tricky, and sort of leads to this conundrum;
1. Do I keep my dating/going out mostly separated to non-children days?
2. This is obviously going to get mis-interpreted as me trying to keep them out of my children's lives.

The women you date just need to accept that you are going to have contact with your ex, you both have kids with each other.
and no.... I wouldn't keep your dating to non-children day.... that is part of your life and your dates need to know that.

Thanks Red.

It didn't feel right to me either.

After my parent divorce I didn't see both of my parents in the same room until my sons Christening.

There's no way on earth I'm going to let my kids see that with me.

for your children sake leave them out of it untill you are sure she is the one them introduce when the time is right , talk about them as you should and let her know how much they mean to you, i f she is serious about you she will ask " when do i get to meet them " an then you will know that she is willing .

still date just put your children first as i know you will you sound like an nice dad and of corse your childrens mum is going to be apart of your life for ever , its good for the children to so you both being polit to one another,it shows them how to act in the future,
you must of loved her at some time to make thre wonderfull children with her, it part of the package come one come all.

Thanks Cowgirl

At least you and red get it.

Believe me, many just don't.

You still get the "you have a 'thing' for your ex" crap, because you talk to them at all. (yeah - that's why I left a nice house and rented a cold dump by myself, and paid $405 to the family court) I could scream sometimes.

I have a 12 year old, a 6 year old and a 4 yo girl (who is twice the work of two boys). I've been through 7-8 years of managing children through schools before I was divorced. And I have at least another 13-14 years of the same commitment ahead of me.

And like hell I'm not going to miss any school events, or have my children miss access to school/sports/activities just because I can't talk to their mother due to a new partner/girlfriend.

Wow, where did that come from?

This site is good therapy.

well we do try go on lte it all out but 1st lay down on that couch and part with $400 an i will help some more .

cheers cgd

I really think that it is up to the 2 ppl to chat about what they think should happen when the children are introduced. Like what is acceptable behaviour and how they think it should be handled. Its a slow process. i think if its done slowly then it is possible

i have seen that the new partner had not been allowed to say no to the children and that they had to consult the parent. i think that would not build a level of respect up between the children and the partner.

jmo

Depends on the age of the kids for me. Mine are 17 and 20 now so if the guy in question had younger kids (say under 10) then don't THINK I would want to go through all that again myself. Been there done that kinda thing ...but... in saying that.. I guess it could depend on a couple of things

1. How deep my feelings were for the guy

2. How nice or horrible his kids are and how he is as a parent. Sorry but some people seem to have trouble discipling their kids and turn a blind eye or allow them be rude, obnoxious, out of control etc.

I think that would cause a real rift in a relationship for me if that was the case. Two totally different parenting techniques !!

TO ALL THOSE SINGLE WOMEN OUT THERE

I have one grandchild fulltime and I solemnly swear to you here and now - If you climb on to me, I will NEVER even consider putting you off