What classics have you heard?

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THREAD AUTHOR
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Ok well weve all not doubt had some classic lines thrown our way.Ive been dating relentlessly for about 7 months so ive heard some really out there shit !!!
Sooooo lets share !
These are just some ive heard & ill give the time frames also ...
Makes you wonder where the hell some people come from ...

1, I still live My parents I hope this isnt a problem (he was 44)

2,I have 4 alsaitions they like to sleep with me!

3,I am on 5 pills a day for the rest of my life ,but i dont do drugs...

4,I am great at oral sex, within 5 minutes of meeting.

5, I have a really small penis , I hope this isnt an issue for you...

6, I cant eat meat, no im not a vegatarian , im allergic to it ...wtf???

7,I like older women .....he was 19

8, Driving a holden is bad for your image...wtf again?

9, I love you & miss you, a text sent to the ladies room whilst on a first date...uh oh

10,I can relocate in 3 weeks , first conversation.

11, I love your big tits, & are they real , I like fake ....ooook

12,I eat broad beans at least 9 times a week...

13,I have a 9 inch cock! again 1st conversation.

14,Can you do multiple orgasams, opening contact email...

15, I want to be your slave.

16,I like working ,I just dont...

17, I believe I am the man for you, opening contact email.

18 ...classic....Recent ' i am IMPOTENT. sad
after reviewing this list perhaps i should give up....


Ok comon I wanna hear them
OH IVE GOT MORE TOO .
Kizzy
MWAlips



beh1972 Canberra , Australia ACT Australia
I can agree with number 8. (I'm going to duck low now)



Ceres Waitakere, Auckland New Zealand
This is maybe not a classic.

Date #3, he invites me round for dinner. "Arrive early" he says. I do. "Oh", he says, "I need to buy a lawnmower. We are going round to this guy's place..."

Oooh, so romantic!
IMALLALONE2 Ingham, Queensland Australia
sounds like they were infected with the fairly common and mainly male affliction Nobrainus Operatus doh confused



Redruby Sydney, New South Wales Australia
I laughed so much at all of these Kizzy, probably because I've heard them all before. My Fav of all time would have to be:
"Honestly I am leaving my wife, I just haven't told her yet"
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Redruby: I laughed so much at all of these Kizzy, probably because I've heard them all before. My Fav of all time would have to be:
"Honestly I am leaving my wife, I just haven't told her yet"



Yep that one makes the cut Rubyrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Here is another few recent ones...

I am allergic to condoms....uh oh

I dont drive because I cant see , but im not blind ok!

I know you said you like tall men , I am 5'1...

If I like you enough I will break up with my girlfriend, opening email

Love has no boundaries....10.000 miles away

Do you like girls too?If not thats ok just thought ide ask...


OH MY GOD !!!!



MellieMels Sydney, New South Wales Australia
Gosh if this is what the dating world is like maybe I should just give up before I even really begin!! sigh I did have hope before reading your post Kizzy but now I'm scared!! uh oh
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
MellieMels: Gosh if this is what the dating world is like maybe I should just give up before I even really begin!! I did have hope before reading your post Kizzy but now I'm scared!!



Be afraid be very very afraid ....


But have fun while your doin it wine



phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia
kizzy27: Ok well weve all not doubt had some classic lines thrown our way.Ive been dating relentlessly for about 7 months so ive heard some really out there shit !!!
Sooooo lets share !
These are just some ive heard & ill give the time frames also ...
Makes you wonder where the hell some people come from ...

1, I still live My parents I hope this isnt a problem (he was 44)

2,I have 4 alsaitions they like to sleep with me!

3,I am on 5 pills a day for the rest of my life ,but i dont do drugs...

4,I am great at oral sex, within 5 minutes of meeting.

5, I have a really small penis , I hope this isnt an issue for you...

6, I cant eat meat, no im not a vegatarian , im allergic to it ...wtf???

7,I like older women .....he was 19

8, Driving a holden is bad for your image...wtf again?

9, I love you & miss you, a text sent to the ladies room whilst on a first date...

10,I can relocate in 3 weeks , first conversation.

11, I love your big tits, & are they real , I like fake ....ooook

12,I eat broad beans at least 9 times a week...

13,I have a 9 inch cock! again 1st conversation.

14,Can you do multiple orgasams, opening contact email...

15, I want to be your slave.

16,I like working ,I just dont...

17, I believe I am the man for you, opening contact email.

18 ...classic....Recent ' i am IMPOTENT. sad
after reviewing this list perhaps i should give up....Ok comon I wanna hear them
OH IVE GOT MORE TOO .
Kizzy
MWA
I got one the other day, starting with " I am the man for you" and please dont tell me you have already met someone as i know you havnt? WTF, oh and he started wit "Keep the Faith" now where the hell does it state on my profile that i am desperate???confused confused confused
blondeaozichick Melbourne, Victoria Australia
phaedellis: I got one the other day, starting with " I am the man for you" and please dont tell me you have already met someone as i know you havnt? WTF, oh and he started wit "Keep the Faith" now where the hell does it state on my profile that i am desperate???



rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing I got exactly the same email!!

funnily enough.. I emailed back and said.. just wondering if you say the same thing to every woman you email??

even funnier.. he didn't respond back laugh knew then I must have been right!!
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
phaedellis: I got one the other day, starting with " I am the man for you" and please dont tell me you have already met someone as i know you havnt? WTF, oh and he started wit "Keep the Faith" now where the hell does it state on my profile that i am desperate???



Hey I got that one too !!!
exactly lol funny as now they are coldcalling hey maybe they work for telstra ????
Justa thought!!!uh oh
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
blondeaozichick: I got exactly the same email!!

funnily enough.. I emailed back and said.. just wondering if you say the same thing to every woman you email??

even funnier.. he didn't respond back knew then I must have been right!!


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up



phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia
kizzy27: Hey I got that one too !!!
exactly lol funny as now they are coldcalling hey maybe they work for telstra ????
Justa thought!!!
yeah straight from India, actually he looked like a foreigner rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia
blondeaozichick: I got exactly the same email!!

funnily enough.. I emailed back and said.. just wondering if you say the same thing to every woman you email??

even funnier.. he didn't respond back knew then I must have been right!!
I thought OMG either i must sound like a desperado, or he cant read!!!confused confused confused



phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia
Cany stay on long Mr R is on his way ova in about 20mins but i needed my fixapplause so if i disappear real quick like, you know he's here?lips
blondeaozichick Melbourne, Victoria Australia
phaedellis: I thought OMG either i must sound like a desperado, or he cant read!!!



rolling on the floor laughing I just assumed he couldn't read ...

what a wally!! wonder how many poor saps fell for his pickup line uh oh

maybe we need a freak alert thread laugh roll eyes



Ceres Waitakere, Auckland New Zealand
I didn't get that one. I missed out. How sad.

Not an internet one, but one from a shopkeeper (!) -

"My wife had a car accident and is in a wheelchair. Now, I have nobody to satisfy my needs.... hey, i have a bed in the back of the shop!"

Oooh, so turned on.



Bikebuilder39 St Marys, New South Wales Australia
The most common I've heard at the local pubs/clubs before I stopped going where:

Umm , yeh , it's a wedding ring but we are on a break(ie. Single for the night)
I want to see your dick before the conversation goes any further so I can tell if you are worth taking home
Can we go back to your place as my boyfriend is a light sleeper(run from those too)
Call me Mummy . It turns me on when a man calls me Mummy(from 30yr old)
How big is your house. I have 5-11 kids and need to move shortly.
What do you mean you don't photo of your dick in your phone to show me
I know we have just started talking but would you give me $100 for the pokie's
and my personal favourite , "I'm really single" and the response was "I know you aren't single as I work with your husband and was at your house for dinner last week"

Off the net I've recently had:

I would like to go out for coffee with you(and these are at least 500kms away)
I have a private website you can talk to me on
What is you email so I ken sind sexi picha to you


and many others that scare the tripe out of me



phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia
Bikebuilder39: The most common I've heard at the local pubs/clubs before I stopped going where:

Umm , yeh , it's a wedding ring but we are on a break(ie. Single for the night)
I want to see your dick before the conversation goes any further so I can tell if you are worth taking home
Can we go back to your place as my boyfriend is a light sleeper(run from those too)
Call me Mummy . It turns me on when a man calls me Mummy(from 30yr old)
How big is your house. I have 5-11 kids and need to move shortly.
What do you mean you don't photo of your dick in your phone to show me
I know we have just started talking but would you give me $100 for the pokie's
and my personal favourite , "I'm really single" and the response was "I know you aren't single as I work with your husband and was at your house for dinner last week"

Off the net I've recently had:

I would like to go out for coffee with you(and these are at least 500kms away)
I have a private website you can talk to me on
What is you email so I ken sind sexi picha to you and many others that scare the tripe out of me
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing See it goes both ways!Love hearing the boys side of things thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Bikebuilder39: The most common I've heard at the local pubs/clubs before I stopped going where:

Umm , yeh , it's a wedding ring but we are on a break(ie. Single for the night)
I want to see your dick before the conversation goes any further so I can tell if you are worth taking home
Can we go back to your place as my boyfriend is a light sleeper(run from those too)
Call me Mummy . It turns me on when a man calls me Mummy(from 30yr old)
How big is your house. I have 5-11 kids and need to move shortly.
What do you mean you don't photo of your dick in your phone to show me
I know we have just started talking but would you give me $100 for the pokie's
and my personal favourite , "I'm really single" and the response was "I know you aren't single as I work with your husband and was at your house for dinner last week"

Off the net I've recently had:

I would like to go out for coffee with you(and these are at least 500kms away)
I have a private website you can talk to me on
What is you email so I ken sind sexi picha to you and many others that scare the tripe out of me



Yeah the wack jobs come in both sexes thats for sure a mate of mine recentley met a girl , was staying at her house a bit & asked if he could leave some things in the bathroom cabnet, she said yeah sure he opened it there was 9 toothbrushes & 9 razors 6 diff mens deodorants & a stack of pictures of men with their faces scribbled out .....uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh
When he asked her she said oh yeah there just my ex es over the last 4 months .....


FarkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkMedical authorities recomend the wearing of condoms....




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