What classics have you heard?

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Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
kizzy27: Yeah the wack jobs come in both sexes thats for sure a mate of mine recentley met a girl , was staying at her house a bit & asked if he could leave some things in the bathroom cabnet, she said yeah sure he opened it there was 9 toothbrushes & 9 razors 6 diff mens deodorants & a stack of pictures of men with their faces scribbled out .....
When he asked her she said oh yeah there just my ex es over the last 4 months .....

Farkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Medical authorities recomend the wearing of condoms....


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Stop, I'm losing bladder control!



mother02 somewhere here, Manawatu-Wanganui New Zealand
1st message, do you want sex, wtf (was thousands miles away, yeah I do but not with you buddy lol) that was a instant delete.

man its a scary dating world out there if this is whats on offer.

Man Kizzy sounds like you really had some doozies.

Mare angel devil
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
emails

subject : "wanna fuck?"

email opening line "i'm a shy woman .............."

i answered that whilst i do wanna fuck, i didnt like shyness in a woman lol


subject : "i like your profile"

opening line: saw your profile and decided to contact you. do you have a pic? (there was a pic on my profile). "i like tall dark and handsome men" (my profile clearly states i'm 5'6" and grey hair, and again the pic shows the lack of handsome)rolling on the floor laughing

i answered that i would send my pic to her email address or phone if she gave me the details, along with a scanned brochure showing adult literacy course details at my local TAFE, so she could learn to read.
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Ok Just got this one.....uh oh
Anyone wanna help me to understand this mans motivation?



i'd like to do you!
a dogs bite is worse than his bark i am straight up thanks for following instincts.
i want to give it to you i really do.
i also get dissapointed nothing is ever a big problem only small.
Fark me coz i'd fark you

full of omega3






mmmmmmmm what a sweet talker smitten
careful I might just fall for this one ....barf
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
kizzy27: Ok Just got this one.....
Anyone wanna help me to understand this mans motivation?
i'd like to do you!

fairly self explanatory..


a dogs bite is worse than his bark i am straight up thanks for following instincts.

has either animal like prowess in the sack or ... just doesnt have much of a grasp on the english language





i want to give it to you i really do.

again.. self explanatory



i also get dissapointed nothing is ever a big problem only small.

loves a challenge ??????????????????


Fark me coz i'd fark you

cant spell fuck

full of omega3


he likes seafood






mmmmmmmm what a sweet talker
careful I might just fall for this one ....
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
ahhh ok so I get it now ...


He wants to have sex with me,
He is an animal in bed,
But he cant speak english well...
He wants to have sex with me again...
& He loves a challenge.
He cannot spell the word f@ck yet he wants to do it to me
& He likes seafood !!!



Ok Thx Psuedo , your a pal for clearin that up !!!
Mwa mwa mwa hug
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
kizzy27: ahhh ok so I get it now ...He wants to have sex with me,
He is an animal in bed,
But he cant speak english well...
He wants to have sex with me again...
& He loves a challenge.
He cannot spell the word f@ck yet he wants to do it to me
& He likes seafood !!!
Ok Thx Psuedo , your a pal for clearin that up !!!
Mwa mwa mwa



anything for you sweetylips
Shell225 Brisbane, Queensland Australia
Two that come to mind are...

A guy from some African country who wanted to take me for coffee...

wasnt sure if that was my local McCafe or his???rolling on the floor laughing

An IM conversation with an American guy who was living in London, who told me he didn't think that I felt the same way about him as he felt about me.

Ummmmm.... this was the first time I'd IM'd this guy and about 3 minutes into the texting. dunno Thank goodness for the block key.

All I can say is............ Run ... Forrest... Run.....

psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Shell225: Two that come to mind are...

A guy from some African country who wanted to take me for coffee...

wasnt sure if that was my local McCafe or his???

An IM conversation with an American guy who was living in London, who told me he didn't think that I felt the same way about him as he felt about me.

Ummmmm.... this was the first time I'd IM'd this guy and about 3 minutes into the texting. Thank goodness for the block key.

All I can say is............ Run ... Forrest... Run.....



so you wouldn't consider relocating to africa for coffee then Shell????
jeez you want it all you way then lolrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh



Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
psuedonym: so you wouldn't consider relocating to africa for coffee then Shell????
jeez you want it all you way then lol


Yeah, some people are just too fussy! laugh



Nikomedes Melbourne, Victoria Australia
This stream of wisdom is a classic !! Suggest we all revisit it from time to time.....

....also, how about the idea that the pooled knowledge of a large number of people is likely to be useful (there is even a site out there that collects the ideas of many folk in an attempt to make predictions about future events).

Well if it collected the wisdom emanating from the geniuses whose lines you disclosed, imagine what sort of predictions the pooled ideas would yield!

heart1
Angel_Diva wales, South Glamorgan, Wales UK
thank god its not just in the Uk u get wally chat up lines!!!!!!!!!


sorry just reading the threads from around the world...ant doing much today......angel



Bikebuilder39 St Marys, New South Wales Australia
Overheard last night from a wobbly woman about 30 to a guy about 16 she just met at the bar. " You look nice. I've had 6 Smirnoff Black's and if you buy me another I'll let you take me out the back and root me up the A##e . That way if I spew again it won't go all over you" . I didn't hang about to see how that one ended but the young bloke was horrified but who says romance isn't dead eh?



mother02 somewhere here, Manawatu-Wanganui New Zealand
Bikebuilder39: Overheard last night from a wobbly woman about 30 to a guy about 16 she just met at the bar. " You look nice. I've had 6 Smirnoff Black's and if you buy me another I'll let you take me out the back and root me up the A##e . That way if I spew again it won't go all over you" . I didn't hang about to see how that one ended but the young bloke was horrified but who says romance isn't dead eh?




rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Angel_Diva: thank god its not just in the Uk u get wally chat up lines!!!!!!!!!sorry just reading the threads from around the world...ant doing much today......



dont be sorry , everyone's welcome
drop back in whenever you want to

and besides you are sexy and i wanna .....................rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing






missgenuine wagga wagga, New South Wales Australia
Shell225: Two that come to mind are...

A guy from some African country who wanted to take me for coffee...

wasnt sure if that was my local McCafe or his???

An IM conversation with an American guy who was living in London, who told me he didn't think that I felt the same way about him as he felt about me.

Ummmmm.... this was the first time I'd IM'd this guy and about 3 minutes into the texting. Thank goodness for the block key.

All I can say is............ Run ... Forrest... Run.....


....lol Im having a goog laugh reading this stuff, its all so familiar.Its also really frustrating at times..lol where are the normal men?????

doh
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Nikomedes: This stream of wisdom is a classic !! Suggest we all revisit it from time to time.....

....also, how about the idea that the pooled knowledge of a large number of people is likely to be useful (there is even a site out there that collects the ideas of many folk in an attempt to make predictions about future events).

Well if it collected the wisdom emanating from the geniuses whose lines you disclosed, imagine what sort of predictions the pooled ideas would yield!



Would certainly be an entertaining read lol:roll
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
missgenuine: ....lol Im having a goog laugh reading this stuff, its all so familiar.Its also really frustrating at times..lol where are the normal men?????



sorry no normal men here....... move along , move along rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing laugh laugh laugh rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing laugh rolling on the floor laughing
ploughingstar thallon, Queensland Australia
rolling on the floor laughing why do girls get all the corny ones all i get is spam lol.. i do have a fav line which i only try for giggle - have you ever tripper over a tree? no well how about a root! but again i really dont think id get a reply!confused
Shell225 Brisbane, Queensland Australia
psuedonym: so you wouldn't consider relocating to africa for coffee then Shell????
jeez you want it all you way then lol


I know... I just SOOooooo damn fussy and hard to please grin





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