First date surprises

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Ralf74: i know, i have been fishing for it and come across these threads trying to find it. I think it was in one about dating but i remember you saying that it was IN DA BOOK, along with a few other good stories in there, lol


I think its in an old Kizzys Bar thread Ralf ... I remember cause you just ordered a drink & when asked whats new you just said it lol hahahhahaha


soooofunny !!!wine



Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
Well i can't find the thread with my first date horror story so here it is again..............

I had organised a first date with this guy at my place for coffee, we had never met and I was going to keep it pretty casual. We had a few phone conversations and he had never even mentioned sex in the whole time we had been speaking, not even as much as a joke so I presumed he must have been quite the gentleman. Well he turned up on time and he looked ok but didn't really get any juices going, lol. I made the coffee and we sat chatting at the dining room table. He made a comment about my jeans and gave my leg a touch up, which I brushed off thinking maybe he just liked jeans as it was quite brief?? Then we were chatting about our height difference so we stood up to do a comparison and then he made his move. We were back to back and he swung me around and held me in an embrace and he began to kiss me, totally shoving his tongue down my throat. Then he drags me off to my bedroom and we got on the bed, still fully clothed and he got on top of me and was eating my face and rubbing himself up and down my leg and pulling my hair back behind my head, it was really full on. I couldn't even move my head, he had it pinned back that hard. He was totally dry humping my leg so much so that he let go of my hair and grabs my face, pushing his thumbs into my cheekbones and whispering in my ear "I am going to cum". And there it is, he did the deed in his pants, I hardly even touched the guy!! All I did was rubbed my hands up his back under his shirt, that was it!! I swear! So I sent him home like that, what an uncomfortable ride home!

rolling on the floor laughing



rocketqueen geelong, Victoria Australia
Ralf74: Well i can't find the thread with my first date horror story so here it is again..............

I had organised a first date with this guy at my place for coffee, we had never met and I was going to keep it pretty casual. We had a few phone conversations and he had never even mentioned sex in the whole time we had been speaking, not even as much as a joke so I presumed he must have been quite the gentleman. Well he turned up on time and he looked ok but didn't really get any juices going, lol. I made the coffee and we sat chatting at the dining room table. He made a comment about my jeans and gave my leg a touch up, which I brushed off thinking maybe he just liked jeans as it was quite brief?? Then we were chatting about our height difference so we stood up to do a comparison and then he made his move. We were back to back and he swung me around and held me in an embrace and he began to kiss me, totally shoving his tongue down my throat. Then he drags me off to my bedroom and we got on the bed, still fully clothed and he got on top of me and was eating my face and rubbing himself up and down my leg and pulling my hair back behind my head, it was really full on. I couldn't even move my head, he had it pinned back that hard. He was totally dry humping my leg so much so that he let go of my hair and grabs my face, pushing his thumbs into my cheekbones and whispering in my ear "I am going to cum". And there it is, he did the deed in his pants, I hardly even touched the guy!! All I did was rubbed my hands up his back under his shirt, that was it!! I swear! So I sent him home like that, what an uncomfortable ride home!


oooooohhhh you sex kitten you.........fark!!!!!!!!!!!! PMSL......
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

So i gather you never heard from him again??laugh wave



Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
rocketqueen: oooooohhhh you sex kitten you.........fark!!!!!!!!!!!! PMSL......


So i gather you never heard from him again??


oh no, he text me a couple of days later wanting to hook up again!! WTF??? Errrrrmmmm......no!! laugh



rocketqueen geelong, Victoria Australia
Ralf74: oh no, he text me a couple of days later wanting to hook up again!! WTF??? Errrrrmmmm......no!!



OMFG!!....WHAT A JERK!! he musta thught he was a sex-god or sumthin!! hahahaha.......most guys woulda been soo embarassed....blushing rolling on the floor laughing



Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
rocketqueen: OMFG!!....WHAT A JERK!! he musta thught he was a sex-god or sumthin!! hahahaha.......most guys woulda been soo embarassed....


i am still trying to find the original thread that I posted it in, it was funny as, there is more fall over laughing stuff over it in the What do you expect thread?. laugh
psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Ralf74: Well i can't find the thread with my first date horror story so here it is again..............

I had organised a first date with this guy at my place for coffee, we had never met and I was going to keep it pretty casual. We had a few phone conversations and he had never even mentioned sex in the whole time we had been speaking, not even as much as a joke so I presumed he must have been quite the gentleman. Well he turned up on time and he looked ok but didn't really get any juices going, lol. I made the coffee and we sat chatting at the dining room table. He made a comment about my jeans and gave my leg a touch up, which I brushed off thinking maybe he just liked jeans as it was quite brief?? Then we were chatting about our height difference so we stood up to do a comparison and then he made his move. We were back to back and he swung me around and held me in an embrace and he began to kiss me, totally shoving his tongue down my throat. Then he drags me off to my bedroom and we got on the bed, still fully clothed and he got on top of me and was eating my face and rubbing himself up and down my leg and pulling my hair back behind my head, it was really full on. I couldn't even move my head, he had it pinned back that hard. He was totally dry humping my leg so much so that he let go of my hair and grabs my face, pushing his thumbs into my cheekbones and whispering in my ear "I am going to cum". And there it is, he did the deed in his pants, I hardly even touched the guy!! All I did was rubbed my hands up his back under his shirt, that was it!! I swear! So I sent him home like that, what an uncomfortable ride home!





ralfy baby ... i said i was sorry lolrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

i didnt realise you dont like your hair pulled backrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Shell225 Brisbane, Queensland Australia
Ralf74: i am still trying to find the original thread that I posted it in, it was funny as, there is more fall over laughing stuff over it in the What do you expect thread?.


I know that you told us about it in Kizzys bar... I think that was about 2 bars ago....laugh



rocketqueen geelong, Victoria Australia
psuedonym: ralfy baby ... i said i was sorry lol

i didnt realise you dont like your hair pulled back



pfffftttt!!!spilt me coffee reading this!!rolling on the floor laughing



Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
psuedonym: ralfy baby ... i said i was sorry lol

i didnt realise you dont like your hair pulled back


rolling on the floor laughing I said it was pulled back so I couldn't move my head,.....not that I didn't like it!! rolling on the floor laughing



astoneinariver yarra valley, Victoria Australia
oooh! the fickle fingers of fate haharolling on the floor laughing



astoneinariver yarra valley, Victoria Australia
his wouldnt hav been victor would it?.......victor two stroke.........pffffrrr. ha ha
g33kgurl Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Bikebuilder39: I recently did a meeting thing(not off this site) with a woman during the week . Claimed to be 40 . Provided no picture up front . Actually about 60-65 and not holding her age well. Admitted to being 55 when I flat out asked but I think that was a fib too. I was curious about the type of people that bare face lie like this so I bought a round of drinks to question this Mutton as Lamb type. The barman said that it was nice that a bloke would take his old mum out and make sure she was safe too ......... After I asked my questions I politely explained that she wasn't what I was after and left . That was after she starting popping out her false teeth and sucking them back in again. Has called me twice to try & get a booty call. No chance in hell with that .




OMG -
g33kgurl Melbourne, Victoria Australia
kizzy27: Kizzys guide to internet dating

chapter 1



Ok heres a suprise,,,,,

After being persued & romanced intently for three weeks, wined & dined , flowers,gifts , phone calls by a definate contender I agreed to go away with him for a romantic weekend together, our first, well we left on the friday I was sooo excited as you can imagine I was really looking forward to what the weekend would bring We had several deep discussions & I can safely say he knew how I was wired...we had a romantic candleight dinner on the terrace then went up to our room .....
I slipped in to something semi-clad & fab
getting close & personal I soon realized that "NOTHING WAS HAPPENING"I said baby is everything alright?
It was at this moment , as he held me in his arms that he confided in me that he was in fact....
Totally Impotant & that this had been the case for the last three years ....
FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

It gets worse.......

After the initial shock I voice my obvious disapointment ....
It was at this time that he informed me he was an expert at everything else & here is the dealbreaker...
He has a vibrating strap on in his bag!!!!!I shit you not !

I killed myself laughing
For a split second I concidered my options lol but then I remembered

i had 3 shopping bags full of things that vibrate under my bed at home & I was actually hoping for some real action !!!

AS i told him this
He took this opertunity to tell me that he unlike me thinks love is so much more important than sex
I said even if i could overlook this & we somehow made a go of it "IDE FARKIN CHEAT ON YA "We ended up in the bar drinkin bourbon , we shared the bed then went our sep ways the next day, I still say hi now n then as I said nice man just not quite what I am seeking.....Kizzy


ZOMG ZOMG!!! i was laughing so hard i swallowed a whole frikkin strepsil!!! this is GOLD!!! priceless reading! thanks kizzy!
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
g33kgurl: ZOMG ZOMG!!! i was laughing so hard i swallowed a whole frikkin strepsil!!! this is GOLD!!! priceless reading! thanks kizzy!



Yeah It was an experiance wine laugh
homerrockz melbourne, Victoria Australia
kizzy27: You need to hone your sus out if there boring skills
I think a good opening line is :
If your in a stairwell having sex & you hear the door open on the floor above what do you do?

If they say stop & tuck my shirtin tell them to fark off

Kizzy



You mean some men would actually stop......confused
kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
homerrockz: You mean some men would actually stop......


Theres some conservative dudes out there ......sigh



rocketqueen geelong, Victoria Australia
redroses67: Hey all. I am new to this site, but I really wanted to blurt. Hope you don't mind.
If there is one thing I absolutely love to talk about is 'first dates'. I have heard some doozies and find them so very amusing!!
My latest one tho I thought I would like some feedback on....
I had been chatting with a guy for a couple of months, online and via phone. For one reason or another we couldn't get together to meet. The other night I was getting ready to go out and just as I was turning my pc off he came online to say 'Hi'. I explained I going out with my gf's and if he wanted he could meet us out. Which he decided he would do.
After the initial meet n greet, he settles in and we're all having a good night drinking, dancing etc. I went to the bar to get a drink and when I got back I noticed he's hooked up with one of my gf's. To cut a long story short, they left together.
DUH!! WFT!! Did I miss something?!?!?!
So I discussed this briefly with a male friend of mine, to which he explains "it's all fair in love n war". So I am wondering to which one I'm in?...
Cheers all..


sounds like a great 'friend'
thats totally rude and unacceptable



rocketqueen geelong, Victoria Australia
g33kgurl: ZOMG ZOMG!!! i was laughing so hard i swallowed a whole frikkin strepsil!!! this is GOLD!!! priceless reading! thanks kizzy!


oh far out kizz.....thats like kwazy!!rolling on the floor laughing




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