Profile Jargon

THREAD AUTHOR

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:56 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

With so many thousands of profiles on the internet this site & others I thought it might help to try & understand what some people are trying to tell you when they write their profile.
so study up
reflect on your own profile & next time you get an email you may be more insightful...
Best of luck
Kizzy
ps please feel free to add any you feel are relevent.

FIRST, THE WOMEN
40-ish...................... 48
Adventurer............... Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic.................... Flat-chested
Average looking....... Ugly
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...... Bring your penicillin
Educated.................. College dropout
Emotionally Secure... Medicated
Feminist................... Fat, ball buster
Free spirit................ Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle..................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age............... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........... Desperate
Outgoing.............. Loud
Passionate............ Loud
Poet..................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.......... Bitch
Redhead............... Shops the Clairol section
Romantic.............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............ Very Fat
Weight proportional to height............. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate........ One step away from stalking
Widow................. Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart........ Toothless crone

THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish........... ..... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking........ Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............ Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun.................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant bastard
Honest................. Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual.............. Once went to church with his grandmother
Stable................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

aberfoyle Coffs Harbour, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:10 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

shelley_bee Gisborne, Gisborne New Zealand

Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:46 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

That is so funny, but true ain't it kizzy.

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:03 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

mmm yes apparently i am a loud , desperate substance abuser who has had more partners than you eva will so you better BYO pennicillian !!!

aberfoyle Coffs Harbour, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:24 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

Let me see...that would make me...

Aberfoyle Profile:

40-ish...................... 48
Average looking....... Ugly
Educated.................. College dropout
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
Old-fashioned......... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........... Desperate
Passionate............ Loud
Romantic.............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............ Very Fat
Wants Soulmate........ One step away from stalking

Twodawgz melbourne, Victoria Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:42 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

kizzy27: With so many thousands of profiles on the internet this site & others I thought it might help to try & understand what some people are trying to tell you when they write their profile.
so study up
reflect on your own profile & next time you get an email you may be more insightful...
Best of luck
Kizzy
ps please feel free to add any you feel are relevent.

FIRST, THE WOMEN
40-ish...................... 48
Adventurer............... Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic.................... Flat-chested
Average looking....... Ugly
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...... Bring your penicillin
Educated.................. College dropout
Emotionally Secure... Medicated
Feminist................... Fat, ball buster
Free spirit................ Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle..................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age............... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........... Desperate
Outgoing.............. Loud
Passionate............ Loud
Poet..................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.......... Bitch
Redhead............... Shops the Clairol section
Romantic.............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............ Very Fat
Weight proportional to height............. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate........ One step away from stalking
Widow................. Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart........ Toothless crone THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish........... ..... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking........ Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............ Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun.................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant bastard
Honest................. Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual.............. Once went to church with his grandmother
Stable................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:47 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

kizzy27: With so many thousands of profiles on the internet this site & others I thought it might help to try & understand what some people are trying to tell you when they write their profile.
so study up
reflect on your own profile & next time you get an email you may be more insightful...
Best of luck
Kizzy
ps please feel free to add any you feel are relevent.

FIRST, THE WOMEN
40-ish...................... 48
Adventurer............... Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic.................... Flat-chested
Average looking....... Ugly
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...... Bring your penicillin
Educated.................. College dropout
Emotionally Secure... Medicated
Feminist................... Fat, ball buster
Free spirit................ Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle..................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age............... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........... Desperate
Outgoing.............. Loud
Passionate............ Loud
Poet..................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.......... Bitch
Redhead............... Shops the Clairol section
Romantic.............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............ Very Fat
Weight proportional to height............. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate........ One step away from stalking
Widow................. Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart........ Toothless crone THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish........... ..... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking........ Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............ Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun.................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant bastard
Honest................. Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual.............. Once went to church with his grandmother
Stable................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

i better put "educated" on my profile then lol

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:15 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

psuedonym: i better put "educated" on my profile then lol

How about friendship first......

sxc666 Central Coast, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:21 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

I received this in an email, frigin funny

psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:27 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

kizzy27: How about friendship first......

BUT I'VE ALREADY GOT THAT

phaedellis Brisbane, Queensland Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:29 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

didnt want to quote kiz cause its way too long, but have read thru it all and its soooo true all of it

Lou29 Floating in the Riverina, New South Wales Australia

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:33 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

mother02 somewhere here, Manawatu-Wanganui New Zealand

Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:44 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

damn, we're all doomed then

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 12:49 AM CST : Profile Jargon !

psuedonym: BUT I'VE ALREADY GOT THAT

Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut

Me too ....

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 12:51 AM CST : Profile Jargon !

mother02: damn, we're all doomed then

well we could all just look at the photos ......

Jimi123499 Central, Victoria Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 12:53 AM CST : Profile Jargon !

kizzy27: With so many thousands of profiles on the internet this site & others I thought it might help to try & understand what some people are trying to tell you when they write their profile.
so study up
reflect on your own profile & next time you get an email you may be more insightful...
Best of luck
Kizzy
ps please feel free to add any you feel are relevent.

FIRST, THE WOMEN
40-ish...................... 48
Adventurer............... Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic.................... Flat-chested
Average looking....... Ugly
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...... Bring your penicillin
Educated.................. College dropout
Emotionally Secure... Medicated
Feminist................... Fat, ball buster
Free spirit................ Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun....................... Annoying
Gentle..................... Comatose
Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age............... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded........... Desperate
Outgoing.............. Loud
Passionate............ Loud
Poet..................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.......... Bitch
Redhead............... Shops the Clairol section
Romantic.............. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............ Very Fat
Weight proportional to height............. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate........ One step away from stalking
Widow................. Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart........ Toothless crone THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish........... ..... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking........ Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............ Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun.................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant bastard
Honest................. Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual.............. Once went to church with his grandmother
Stable................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

hey I enjoyed that one visit to church with my grandmother......

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 1:06 AM CST : Profile Jargon !

Jimi123499: hey I enjoyed that one visit to church with my grandmother......

Yeah well it didnt go down too well when ya used the holy water to dilute your scotch !!!!!!!

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:11 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish........... ..... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............... Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking........ Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............ Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun.................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking........... Arrogant bastard
Honest................. Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested
Physically fit......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual.............. Once went to church with his grandmother
Stable................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

Highly sexed ........ can still get it up occaisionally

kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:32 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

This was up a while ago but thought it relevent for the newbies .....

Now remember you need to get ten points to score ....In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get pointsget points you get lucky.. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the system is set up.

Here is a guide for the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed. (+1)

You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5) In the rain. (+8)

But return with beer. (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5)

You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)

It's her pet. (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side t he entire party. (0)

You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2)

Named Tina. (-10)

Who is a dancer. (-20)

And has silicone implants. (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner. (+2)

You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie. (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes. (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)

You take her to a movie you like. (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter; you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]

You hesitate in responding. (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response. (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression...(0)

You listen for over 30 minutes. (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

shyflower South Western Sydney, New South Wales Australia

Tue Nov 11, 2008 3:35 PM CST : Profile Jargon !

Widow................. Nagged first husband to death

Not always.

Sometimes accidents happen.

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