Australia/New Zealand Forums 100% Free Online Dating

TamarTas: Sorry? I don't get the joke. I don't see the problem?

(to get this, see where I live)

(I'm not a native so I can make those sort of jokes)

oztrack: Hey Dawgs, how do you know that.....you seen him too?

Twodawgz: Yeah by the time i got there the good bits were gone..

kizzy27: So Much for Cybersex.....
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
to be continued,,,

Shell225: absolute crackup Kizzy

kizzy27: Just gotta IM from an adorable man apparently compleatly naked ....
yes he wanted to show me his bits I let them go untill they ask for money ....
I have priciples you know !!!!

lookingforlove69: lol had that happen a long time ago it was not what it seemed when i did not ask for it she said do you have cam i said yeah so invite was sent when i opened it she was rubbing her self like there was no tomorow hehe

JASON656: I read this about 10 yrs ago,its good

Jimi123499: hey this is even better....

http://koutuk.blogspot.com/2006/11/when-cyber-sex-goes-wrong.html

kizzy27: i was just offered cyber something so i told the nice man to check this thread ive bumped so he can find it easily ....

So M here it is ....enjoy baby!!!

No1knows1: That's the funniest thing I've read for a long
time, I think I pissed Myself and My daughter
just asked whats soooo! funny errrrm bye!

CuspofMagic: Black, Sheer leather, silk/purple velvet lined skin tight Silver studded open fronted ---G' with a cat of nine tails studded strap attached on the back--- and you ?

CuspofMagic: Black, Sheer leather, silk/purple velvet lined skin tight Silver studded open fronted ---G' with a cat of nine tails studded strap attached on the back--- and you ?