Ralf74: My sister and i found our father, hung to his death in our driveway at 2am in the morning. He had committed suicide. I was 18 at the time and my sister was 17. She totally freaked out to the point that she was almost climbing through the back window of his landcruiser we pulled up in which doesn't actually open. It was pitch black except for the lights of the vehicle pointed straight at him. He was white as a sheet and his tongue was swollen to the point it no longer fit in his mouth, an image that will never leave me. Being her big sister i had to comfort her and take control of the situation. She was driving at the time and i instructed her to head straight to the police, we couldn't stay there for her sake. She was driving all over the road and i was hallucinating but i told her to pull over so i could drive. The police councelled my sister and the police, coroner and myself headed back to the ghastly site to identify the body and to take him down. The police offered to tell my mum and 3 younger siblings but i said that I could manage it. So i went knocking on their door at 5am with the news. Mum was beside herself, she had only left our family home a week beforehand as she was sick of his alcoholism and he was beginning to become violent.
I personally, had to handle all of that which is fine, but what makes me angry is that my sisters and brother have all been affected in their lives because of what he did. My brother in particular has a really hard time because he was only 8 at the time and hardly knew his father. He gets emotional sometimes and wants to seek out dad's side of the family because they all live in Scotland so we don't see them. It just breaks my heart to see him like that, the girls are a little better at hiding the pain but i can still see it in their everyday lives. I at least had a good relationship with my dad, but the rest didn't really know him at all.
Hey ralf, would have been hard to say all the above, you show good spirit despite what has happened in your life.....