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You would think so wouldn't you kizzy, sometimes I wonder about myself as well

My sister and i found our father, hung to his death in our driveway at 2am in the morning. He had committed suicide. I was 18 at the time and my sister was 17. She totally freaked out to the point that she was almost climbing through the back window of his landcruiser we pulled up in which doesn't actually open. It was pitch black except for the lights of the vehicle pointed straight at him. He was white as a sheet and his tongue was swollen to the point it no longer fit in his mouth, an image that will never leave me. Being her big sister i had to comfort her and take control of the situation. She was driving at the time and i instructed her to head straight to the police, we couldn't stay there for her sake. She was driving all over the road and i was hallucinating but i told her to pull over so i could drive. The police councelled my sister and the police, coroner and myself headed back to the ghastly site to identify the body and to take him down. The police offered to tell my mum and 3 younger siblings but i said that I could manage it. So i went knocking on their door at 5am with the news. Mum was beside herself, she had only left our family home a week beforehand as she was sick of his alcoholism and he was beginning to become violent.

I personally, had to handle all of that which is fine, but what makes me angry is that my sisters and brother have all been affected in their lives because of what he did. My brother in particular has a really hard time because he was only 8 at the time and hardly knew his father. He gets emotional sometimes and wants to seek out dad's side of the family because they all live in Scotland so we don't see them. It just breaks my heart to see him like that, the girls are a little better at hiding the pain but i can still see it in their everyday lives. I at least had a good relationship with my dad, but the rest didn't really know him at all.

ralf

Thanks forgotten, it was a long time ago, just so many unanswered questions.

I have a big cock and Im trying to get that off my chest.........

need a hand with that??

That was farkin excellent Dawgz
My thoughts exactly

yes

sorry to hear your story........

Oh Ralf...it brings back so many memories for me...
My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer when pregnant with our youngest daughter in 1983...lumps in her breast...induced birth the next day and total mastectomy a week later. She died 4 years later.

My brother committed suicide in 2003, hung himself from a tree in the garden.....brought back so many memories . AS you say, so many unanswered questions.

But we carry on....don't we?

that is soooooo sad I really did cry whilst I was reading this

Thanks harley

So will one hand be enough or will i need two??

very sad

If we use one of mine.... that will be two

Thanks Ozi, my dad's sister (my Aunt)in Scotland just recently had a double mastectomy too. Hope the result isn't the same.

Good idea Red, then we will have a spare hand each for other things!!

Hey ralf, would have been hard to say all the above, you show good spirit despite what has happened in your life.....

Thank you Kizzy for this thread, it's very therapeutic at this time of year.

My story is that my mother left her second husband, myself and my two half sisters when I was about seven years old. I couldn't understand it then and still can't now. I have vastly conflicting stories from my stepfather and my mother. The point is - I choose to ignore both. Their stories that is. I have not had contact from my birth father since I was 18mths old, so really couldn't give a rat's ass about him. My stepfather was my Dad and Mum was my mother. My Dad loved us and brought us up, travelling to France and Denmark and finally Australia. I didn't meet Mum again till I was 28. We have kept in touch and are very close now. She's been out here 3 times to see us. Yet I still haven't had the ccourage to ask her so many questions. I doubt I ever will.

I guess my vent is - be open with your kids. Let them know what's happening so they don't end up as adults with no answers to their own history.

Thanks Jimi, much appreciated

Hey Dragon, desertion is as almost as bad as death, you're just left with a different set of questions!!

yes four should be enough.....