Australia/New Zealand Forums 100% Free Online Dating

damned if you do damned if ya don't..... are you experiencing deja vous???? welcome to my world

How well do you know these friends....they aren't swingers at all ? only joking there !

Do the both sets of your friends know each other ?

Personally, I would tell. I'm the same as you kizzy....I'd wanna know if some guy I was with, was doing that to me and one of my friends knew about it.

I think not telling is going to ruin the friendships more in the long run.....I think they would find it harder to forgive you for not being upfront when you knew what was going on, rather than them finally realising that their partner is an a**hole, and you tried to open their eyes to it.

Hey Kizzy - been in that situation myself & my advice would be - DON'T SAY ANYTHING to the unsuspecting partners - if you must, approach the guilty parties & let them know that you know but, if it were me, I would say nothin' to nobody! All that can happen is that you can lose some good friends - people will fnd out in their own time, believe me.

This is a very difficult circumstance because they are both your friends. I think that you have to decide whether this is your business or not.

If I wasnt there I wouldnt know so No It really is none of my business
If I tell the guilty I know I am going to lose the friendships there too so I think the say nothing is the best No one knows I know ...
no one well except all of you !!!
Now I gotta kill yas lol
nah
I will just hope they wake up to themselves
To the question asked yes they know each others partners well
They socialize
Kizzy

got anyone else you can throw the burden to , to go confront them without them knowing it was you that saw them??

My feelings too.....not your business...they need to sort out their s#*t themselves. Why would you want to be involved?

Maybe you should bring up infidelity in your next encounter as a topic of discussion, not finger pointing, and guage the responses first. It may give you an understanding of the feelings involved from all parties. Of course you would need to be extremely tactful and aware that you may let the cat out of the bag with your body language.

On second thoughts, I can understand your concern and I guess you would feel it is your business.

But....I would question whether it is the right thing to get involved. For me....I wouldn't. JMO

Kizzy...they were arm in arm, having a pleasurable time....is that so bad?

I have a good friend with whom I had a relationship many years ago,,,,,she asked me to lunch some weeks ago....she wanted my advice about family matters, we had a lot to drink, walked back to her place, I embraced her and kissed her....we went our ways home.

You may have seen this?

Kizzy do not say anything,try to put it out of your mind They are consenting adults"and they know what they are doing.If there is anything going on thier partners will find out in good time or it will fizzle out.
Just never mention it to anyone now or ever that way you cannot be brought into it now or a later time.Because you will lose friends and its not worth it, many years ago I was in the same position I did not say a word nothing came of it.

That would be a tough one......

I had someone once chat to me from overseas in one of these sites with chatrooms forums etc (like this one hee hee). But you would not beleive, it was a good friend of my close friend who she was fond of and he was suspose to be fond of her. She had been overseas to see him twice from here and i introduced her to the site where they meet. So i knew all about him what he looked like blah blah.

He didn't know me at all. Anyway he wasn't indecent but i felt he was fishing and gave me complements etc rada rada. So i told my friend one evening in around about way who I saw on the nett and had a conversation with. But I put it in a way as I was suprised of all the ppl he was chatting to me.

He was suspose to be too busy for the nett and he had stopped phoning her at the time. So i guess this conversation made her think in the back of her mind with out me saying what i thought and in the end not long after she found more to him than she new.

It didn't turn out bad, like there friends today and he still rings her. But the spot I was in do I tell her, what i was thinking or just give some info..

Do the decent thing and blackmail them.....

1

sweety if you tell you stand a chance to loos all 4 of your frends

2
if you dont say nothing it will work at your conchence

3
if you chat to them and let them kno you kno you cold loos 2 of your frends or all of your frends if thay tell ther partners that you are playing games and twist it up
4
you cold tell the 2 of them that thay have 2 weeks to cume clean be for you tell ther partners knowing that you may loos your frends or haff your frends but your conchence wold be clear and it gives them the chance to work on things
5?
are thay swingers is another qwestchon

best of luck yer pall wally

Ok...heres my take on it Kizzy.

Its a big leap to go from seeing 2 people arm in arm after a cuppa to the full on wild monkey dance...

Now if you do feel compelled to say something, and let them know that you saw them its very very simple. You are BLONDE, so have a BLONDE moment.

Just blurt it out.. hey when you were at (insert place) did you try the cheesecake?? I love the cheesecake!! blah blah blah ....
You havent suggested anything, you havent blamed anyone, but you've innocently let them know you saw them, and for all intents and purposes ... you didnt suspect a thing.

I think that if you are going to approach anybody, approach the two you saw and use the angle that you are very dissapointed that they have put you in an uncomfortable position. Reinforce that you are friends and will remian friends, but you are now in the uncomfortable position of having to hold a secret from other friends. Let them understand the position you are in created by their deciet, not yours.

Either way, you're in a tough position, but one that you can't change.

Hi & thanks for all the imput I agree hard call
as to the wild monkey dance well I am not sure exactly what that is but think i might like to try it lol seriously from the look they were definatly intimate they were right in each others space you know you can just tell there was no kiss while i was there I nearly called out then noticed the intimacy between them that is what stopped me .the body language any one else would have thought imediatly nice couple ...
I havent seen anyone of the 4 I have been working alot but its a matter of days till i do. One is gonna ring for a catch up , dinner etc I hate feeling like this I like the inocent comment thing but I dont know i could pull off a blonde moment to be honest...
I like the infidelity convo but again how sucesful I can be is the issue I am a terrible liar .
Kizzy

Funny G

It's a toughie Kizzy.
You need to be sure as it's easy to jump to conclusions and I have seen false accusations cause a lot of trouble in relationships. The problem is if you are looking for something you will often see it even if it is not there. I'm talking post the event not the event it's self.
I have had comments made to and about me as I tend to be very contact orientated with my female friends, but my other half knew this and it was never hidden from her as I knew many of them before we started dating.
It is also possible that it is known to be going on, I have seen it before from some of the most unlikely couples to have a bit of swapping happening and in a small place you have to be very discrete.

If it is going on and you do say something then it may well affect your friendship with parties both "guilty" and "innocent". It is easy to hate the messenger for carrying the message.
After time the "innocent" may come around after the hurt subsides a bit. How would they likely react if they found out you knew but didn't say anything?

It is a tough one because whether you say anything or not it is going to effect your friendship as you are likely to be less relaxed around them and people will notice, remember 70% of communication is non-verbal and only a third of verbal communication is the words actually spoken.

Would I have liked to have been told my ex was screwing her boss? Yes, I think I would have as it would have only confirmed what I suspected but didn't want to believe.
Though I don't hate those that knew but didn't say anything I did feel quite disappointed that my friends had let me down. But that's me, my sister didn't hate her girlfriends when the came and literally dragged her to where her fella was shagging some other bit in his car, but she was also disappointed that it took them so long to do it when they all knew.

Really it all comes down to how you think they would feel if you told or didn't, how you would feel in their place and how you think you will feel if you do or don't.

Best of luck.