Doing it distance

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zztopbanana NSW, OZ & Puke Bay, Porirua, Wellington New Zealand
Thu Feb 5, 2009 11:26 AM CST : Doing it distance
psuedonym: distance really sucks ..................... that's all i have sorry,
oh but i guess if you want it to work you'll find a way regardless


What Pseudo sez....
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kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Thu Feb 5, 2009 2:40 PM CST : Doing it distance
blondeaozichick: go with your heart I say

I had a long distance one once.. I lived in brissy.. he lived in Geelong .. it lasted about 12 months all up... obviously it didnt work! but the reasons why.. were it was a rebound relationship for both of us.. his wife had dumped him and I had something happen (not going into it) .. lots of trust issues.. he was a liar (and lied about stupid dumb shit as well as bigger stuff .. what a wanker HATE liars when I met him he moaned and groaned about how his wife just one day said she didn't love him anymore and said she was leaving.. and how he had no idea she was even thinking that way.. and yep.. I believed him!!! 10 months into it..I am at his place while he was was at work.. before he left I said.. where is your vac.. ill do your carpets while your not here.. give me something to do.. he told me where it was.. I said.. cool.. i'll move all your furniture and do a real good job.. he said.. cool thanks.. goes off to work.. I get the vac out.. move the lounge chair to vac under it.. and there is this pile of papers .. I picked them up to move them and saw the top one was a letter from his wife.. and yep.. curiosity got the better of me.. I read it!!.. in the letter she says how devastated she was to find out he had been having an affair and she can never forget when he told her he had met someone on the net (not me haha it was before my time!) and that he loved this woman and he was leaving her (his wife) for this woman .. I couldn't stop reading it then.. I had to know!.. I felt like I had been smacked in the head! I'm reading it thinking.. you lying f*cking b*stard!!!! you fooled me big time you prick!!

I never loved him.. but the sex was awesome!! first man I had ever met who could and wanted to have sex 10-15 times a day!! gotta love that then i found out what he was really like and I couldn't stand him touching me

the thing is.. I wouldn't have judged him at all for what had happened in his life before me.. everyone has reasons for doing what they do .. its not my place to say whether it was right or wrong.. BUT.. he KNEW that.. but he also knew I despised liars .. yet he chose to lie to me.. so it was never meant to be...
so it was goodbye wanker!

so if you trust and love each other.. there is no reason it can't work for awhile.. but eventually one of you is going to have to move near the other one.. it wont work long distance for ever !

well that's my opinion anyway



Well Blonde his loss & you soooo did the right thing thanks so much for sharing .Ive said I can & will relocate in 24 months I may be able to start a contact program where eva I go so effectivly take my job with me , I just feel if you meet someone & connect so well its gotta be worth checkin out , mmm just hopewe can .
Kizzy
Oh & I hate Liars too so well done
mwa
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zztopbanana NSW, OZ & Puke Bay, Porirua, Wellington New Zealand
Thu Feb 5, 2009 2:59 PM CST : Doing it distance
kizzy27: Well Blonde his loss & you soooo did the right thing thanks so much for sharing .Ive said I can & will relocate in 24 months I may be able to start a contact program where eva I go so effectivly take my job with me , I just feel if you meet someone & connect so well its gotta be worth checkin out , mmm just hopewe can .
Kizzy
Oh & I hate Liars too so well done
mwa

Me too - I'd stamp their bloody bastard foreheads if I had my way...
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Shell225 Brisbane, Queensland Australia
Thu Feb 5, 2009 3:32 PM CST : Doing it distance
Kizzy,

What I find is that although MSN and text can keep one in touch, they are incredibly one dimensional, and the phone is two dimensional.

They help, but its hard when you cant see the persons face, and see how they are reacting to what you are saying and so on, particularly if you are both still at that getting to know you stage.

Its difficult. But honestly .. what do you stand to loose, if it works out .. Awesome. If it doesnt work out, you got to visit a different city a few times and have some fun while you were there.

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kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Thu Feb 5, 2009 3:44 PM CST : Doing it distance
Shell225: Kizzy,

What I find is that although MSN and text can keep one in touch, they are incredibly one dimensional, and the phone is two dimensional.

They help, but its hard when you cant see the persons face, and see how they are reacting to what you are saying and so on, particularly if you are both still at that getting to know you stage.

Its difficult. But honestly .. what do you stand to loose, if it works out .. Awesome. If it doesnt work out, you got to visit a different city a few times and have some fun while you were there.

After the 12 weeks he should be back withing driving distance I can do canberra return in 6 hrs I do it alot for work so weekend getaways are not aprob its only this 12 weeks at this early stage but hey he is going tothe back of whoop whoop working 12 hr days so wont be alot of contact ide imagine maybe put it all on the back burner I mean ive beeen dating 12 months & havnt met anyone as awesome so chances are I wont between now & then . I am happy to chill soo we see talking tonite so ill suss it then
and yeah I got cam .... smiles wickedly lol

Kizzy devil
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sxc666 Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Thu Feb 5, 2009 4:21 PM CST : Doing it distance
kizzy27:
and yeah I got cam .... smiles wickedly lol

Kizzy
Now this actually worries me more than the long distance thing. Kizzy please remember that when intimate things are shared via means such as webcam etc, and just say things don't work out. You cannot take back what you have shared together. Now remembering you met this guy on here, if it goes bust, he knows you are on here, and that may end up being ok, it may end up with a very embarrassing situation for you.......tread lightly this could be a good thing, or a recipe for disaster.

Sorry for the negativity. But I believe every move you make should be thought through thoroughly before proceeding with it. wine
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kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Fri Feb 6, 2009 2:21 AM CST : Doing it distance
sxc666: Now this actually worries me more than the long distance thing. Kizzy please remember that when intimate things are shared via means such as webcam etc, and just say things don't work out. You cannot take back what you have shared together. Now remembering you met this guy on here, if it goes bust, he knows you are on here, and that may end up being ok, it may end up with a very embarrassing situation for you.......tread lightly this could be a good thing, or a recipe for disaster.

Sorry for the negativity. But I believe every move you make should be thought through thoroughly before proceeding with it.



Yes mum ....


lol nah its kool TinaI only use cam to see someones face . I so agree i am so not ending up on utube !!!r what was it Uporn hahaha,,,speaking of which anew development he rang me there is no internet out there no mobile reception he had to drive 50ks to a public phone booth in Orange to call bless his heart ...so apart from the odd textservice is sparotic & the sunday drive to town to the phone box our contact is going to be even more limited ..his words Hot dusty no signal no supermarket no life ...


Looks like we will have to do .....snail mail ahhhhhhhhhh Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! dear God Nooooooooo
mm things are getting harder / dayum
Kizzy
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Lou29 Floating in the Riverina, New South Wales Australia
Fri Feb 6, 2009 2:27 AM CST : Doing it distance
I know all about the 'back of whoop with no contact'..

I won't go into it, but I think it works well if you are willing to have a crack at it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that smitten
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jazzster Taree, New South Wales Australia
Fri Feb 6, 2009 3:00 AM CST : Doing it distance
psuedonym: distance really sucks ..................... that's all i have sorry



zztopbanana: What Pseudo sez....



Agreed....
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Pockets66 Kelmscott, Western Australia Australia
Sun Feb 8, 2009 10:03 AM CST : Doing it distance
kizzy27: Ok after some feed back here guys , Ive been seeing this guy for about 5 weeks we are AMAZING anyway weve been tight he lives 3 hrs away so its been a weekend / midweek visit phone chat text etc etc etcthang anyway we spent last weekens having a absolute blast ,
He has a great job & this week earned a promotion which will give him an extra 50 thou plus ayear soooo to good to pass The thing is he has to go 11 hrs away for 3 months then not sure whats after that.
He has asked me to hang wityhhim & hey i wanna the thing is ther is no real solid conclusion as to where he will be after the 12 weeks .Also he will be doing big days like 12 hrs the odd day off but not many
he has to fly out tommorrow ...


I am soooo gonna miss him
Ive never done a distance thing Ive avioded it because i am not sure i can survive without the intimacy /touch cuddles but hey this guy is da bomb I am smitten we bothare .
any advise greatly appriciated on how to cope
Kizzy


Distance to love is as the wind to fire,
It will inflame the great and extinguish the small.

My mother started dating a guy who lived 1800 kms away. They would see each other about 4 or 5 (maybe a bit more I was only young at the time) a year. He would come down when he got 3 days off (17 - 20 hour drive each way). They dated for 2 years. Contact mostly by mail (no internet, trunk calls - no STD plus we didn't have a phone so that took some planning).

Married for 30 years last month.

I suggest-
If you want it, keep going, if it works, you know it's worth pursuing.
Write letters (by hand GASP) and post not email. Rational? If you type letters you tend to correct and polish because it goes through the brain. When you write with a pen it goes direct from the heart to the paper, thus not giving the brain the chance to screw it up. It also demonstrates that you are sitting and doing nothing but thinking of him and you, and what you are feeling tends to come closer to the surface and is more likely to be expressed in the words you use. It may seem a strange attitude in this age of Sat-Nav and instant text, mobile phones etc but if you actually stop and think about it you'll see where I'm coming from.

Best of luck mate.
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Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
Sun Feb 8, 2009 11:11 AM CST : Doing it distance
awwww, that is so sweet, Pockets. And so true. I might add that it is terribly romantic to recieve a love letter in the mail rather than just bills! smitten
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Pockets66 Kelmscott, Western Australia Australia
Sun Feb 8, 2009 12:04 PM CST : Doing it distance
Ralf74: awwww, that is so sweet, Pockets. And so true. I might add that it is terribly romantic to recieve a love letter in the mail rather than just bills!


Dunno about that. Last one I got was from my dancing partner when I moved up north I think I was 12 at the time.
The ex wasn't into romantic stuff so all the letters and poetry etc went one way. She left all that stuff when she shot through too.
'spose I could always recycle it with the next beau..... Nah don't think so even if the feelings were all the same would feel too much like lying.












Mind you there were some good lines that could be rehashed. Mmmmm will have to wait and see.
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dave35 kyogle, New South Wales Australia
Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:52 AM CST : Doing it distance
I work 3 weeks on 1 off , a FIFO job ie fly in fly out , i have a farm to look after when i'm back for a week and each time i start a relationship the other half can't understand why i can't spend a week lazing in bed,,,,,so to anyone that can make a LD relationship work goood on ya!!!!
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Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:58 AM CST : Doing it distance
dave35: I work 3 weeks on 1 off , a FIFO job ie fly in fly out , i have a farm to look after when i'm back for a week and each time i start a relationship the other half can't understand why i can't spend a week lazing in bed,,,,,so to anyone that can make a LD relationship work goood on ya!!!!


Sounds like you need to be on The Farmer Wants a Wife!! laugh
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Dusty_Roads Kingaroy, Queensland, Queensland Australia
Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:30 PM CST : Doing it distance
A few things occurred to me Kizzy, if I may comment.

Firstly, can u see yourself with this guy in 10 years ?
Has he visited u in Nowra as I don't recall reading that ?

There are some great comments and suggestions etc here. I reckon you should give it a go and I wish u all the best
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kizzy27 Nowra, New South Wales Australia
Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:42 AM CST : Doing it distance
Dusty_Roads: A few things occurred to me Kizzy, if I may comment.

Firstly, can u see yourself with this guy in 10 years ?
Has he visited u in Nowra as I don't recall reading that ?

There are some great comments and suggestions etc here. I reckon you should give it a go and I wish u all the best

Well Dusty bit of an update yes he had visited me in Nowra but since this he has been told he goes from orange to WA in about 7 weeks so we are givin it a miss if im available & he when he gets back we see but as it looks like 2 yrs i for one mam not holdin my breathe ah well life goes on hey !wine
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psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:53 PM CST : Doing it distance
distance still sux
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Ralf74 Bacchus Marsh, Victoria Australia
Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:30 PM CST : Doing it distance
psuedonym: distance still sux


Agreed moping
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psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:38 PM CST : Doing it distance
nah really seriously distance really farkin' sucks
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psuedonym adelaide, South Australia Australia
Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:43 PM CST : Doing it distance
actually distance is fucked
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