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When Guiri's not getting bagged, he's getting slagged or nagged.....

that's just so darn true mate ..

Thanks, Sommer. That's exactly what I'm gonna do. And if it does not happen, maybe this online dating thing is not for me. Glad it happened with you and your man, though. It's probably how it's destined to be..

Just one comment on the last one:.. has there been any? Hardly, sweetie, hardly ... that's only for the special one..

Ama

See, I never wanted lots of dates until I 'found' the right one, I took my time and I sat back and just enjoyed the banter on the forums.

I really did want a relationship, but I did not lay all my hopes on this place, I made some close friends and in a way being here was a therapy for me, in all honesty and it got me through a cold winter when I first moved here, when I was recovering from my previous relationship and I just wanted to stay home.

The fact that a person dropped out of the sky talking about airport behaviour, was nothing other than a bonus for me. I did not expect it at all, it happened and I have not looked back.

It happened once to me, that I still maintain an online friendship with someone who I met in real life.

I met her online about three years ago.
About two years ago I saw her in real life.
And we are still online friends.

I think you can be friends with someone, even if there are no sparks with him or her.

Good for you, Hathor I think that would only be possible when there are no sparks on either side ..

In my experience it´s the men who can´t remain friends.

I´m quite happy about staying in touch and being friends. If there is no spark then that doesn´t take away from the fact that I like the person.

Men often find it difficult to accept that, and seemingly accept a friendship initially, but then try to make it more than what it is.

Persistence doesn´t always pay!

Yes, that's what I meant, Jan. Men always want more, so it seems. They indeed find it difficult to accept that..

I have been thinking that maybe Guiri is right. And he has a point. I don't pretend I am always right.

You raise great points there my friend, evening by the way. I do think that women (apologies gents) are better at dealing with emotions than men are, despite PMT and periods and so on! Men want to be able to have it all or nothing and are the ones that do suffer alone more than we do and are very much islolated in the feeling that they have to be big and macho and suffer alone..

I don´t know what you mean about Guiri´s comments Ama, but I think you and I are in tune with what your thread is about.

Maybe it is better to cut off ties completely. It´s a shame though, good friends are always a blessing.

It's so lonely being big and macho.

Good evening T.

I agree, we do cope better in general, though it isn´t easy. We seem to have more of a survival instinct perhaps.

Maybe men are just plain greedy!

Oh poppet, tell your Aunty Sommer, she'll help you through... Thing is you great oafs don't realise you are doing it!

On being friends…

Have tried to answer that few times, and never could fulfill the task… People who contact me via mail and IM here take up this subject rather often. And that always makes my brain gear into stupor: I just don’t know what they are talking about. There were days when I asked to define what they mean with “being friends”, don’t do that anymore. He says “being friends”, I kill the conversation.

For me a friendship has to survive “war, love and poverty” (stolen from O. Henry).

If there’ll be a war, and we find ourselves on different side of the frontier, will you remain my friend?

If I fall in love, and he leaves me, and I’m devastated of grief and impossible to deal with, will you remain my friend?

If I’m so poor (no money, no home, no clothes, no food, no nothing) that it’d be embarrassing for the most people to admit the acquaintance with me, will you remain my friend?

And if the answer on any of these questions is “no”, then we are not friends. Have never been, will never be. In my terms. And I have no idea what “being friends” means in this hood…

PLEASE tell me......how meny friends have you.......

I'm along the similar lines there on friendships Tulefel.

They were four, few year ago one died.

Left after her an empty place, I still feel a cold draught because her place is empty.

Yes, and I forgot to add, the conditions have to hold in both directions of course

I also think so. I do not ask what a friend can do for me. I do whatever I can to help her and please her. I never take and I hardly ask.

But if after a certain time I notice I'm the one who's always giving and she is always taking and never giving back at her own free will and initiative, I cut it off, walk away, and never look back.

And that I do and have done, not only with friendships but other relationships as well.