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but i understand ur sadness be well all.

Immanuelle,

How terribly sad.......I flew away in June last year and never saw my father alive again, but maybe it was for the best...... I could nolonger cope with seeing him die a little every day.

It was only this week that I finally mourned my own father who died on 14th August last year a few weeks after I abandoned looking after him and my mother and went back to my home in the UK.

I could have talked to my dad, and he'd have felt my grief and not said anything and not been judgmental.......... I couldn't tell my mother what has happened now because she'd be upset and then sympathetic; when I deserve zero sympathy.

I thought of talking to my dad and the tears welled up in my eyes and at last I was able to mourn his death - I loved him so very much and he loved me too...........

when I lost my second wife he flew to see her to try and find out what was wrong.

I didn't know why she got rid of me when five months pregnant and he decided, however inappropriate, to find out as he also loved her as a daughter and was sad for the both of us.

He only once met the wonderful person I split up with just a week ago, but he knew that I had finally found the love of my life and was very happy for the two of us.

I am sad that I can nolonger talk to him, but also glad that he has no need to feel my pain now.

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MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!