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Thanks for sharing Imma....I have only known one person with eating disorders.....it's entirely foreign to me...I can't understand it..the psychology of it...But an anorexic would have no chance around me....I love to cook, and am always eating...I hate flat tummies btw...I really hope you can get a handle on your condition...what on earth do you think caused it in the first place?

I taught a girl to drive a couple of years ago and she was what you could call extremely anorexic. She weighed less than 40 K and still thought she was too fat. Since then she has been kicked out of 5 different treatment centers. It is an illness that is so hard to understand because it is fairly new. This is because it is a modern illness. In the old days if you did not eat enough the people around you were pleased because they could eat more. You also did not live long because the unhygenical situations sorted the strong from the weak (physically) and they died at a young age. Eating was at one time in history a necessity to stay alive. It is different now. People can last a long time in starvation mode. The concentration camps proved that.
I do hope that you can beat it like you beat any other hurdle you have had to take in your life. You must be stronger than you realize to stop smoking is hard and you did it. To tell your problems here is probably even harder. I commend you for that. and of course you can't expect something from me without the humor or sarcasm so here eat!!!

by the way Lago you know more people than you realize with eating disorders. Eating too much is also an eating disorder

Imma....come to Malta for a month.....on a diet of pesto, pasta, pasticci, and red wine, you'll look like a bloated brown sea-going creature in no time...welcome to the Bugibba Beached Whale Club!!...

I'm very sorry to hear that, Imma. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. But I understand that there are really people with eating disorders or with weight problems. My best friend is overweight. We went together to France for a holiday last week as I've told you, and it was the first time I've seen how frustrating it can be for her.

We went shopping as usual, we always do when we go out together. She also loves shopping. I was so glad to find such beautiful things in the boutiques there and I was trying some dresses on. I thought she was also looking around. Then I noticed she was gone and when I found her, she was sitting on a bench with drooping shoulders and I knew there was something wrong. I asked her what's wrong and she said she cannot find a size for her. We went to all the shops looking for something for her, but they only have until size 46. She is size 50.

I always eat as much as and whatever I want and when we were there, since I love seafood, I was eating a lot ... lunch and dinner, also breakfast. It seems the sea air gave me a lot of appetite. Then one time, I caught her staring at me and she was looking so unhappy. She said, "It is so unfair that you eat that much and you have such a body - it is very discouraging." I am size 38.

She was so unhappy with her body. She would not even let me take a picture of her because she does not like to see her photo. I love my friend and she will always be my friend and I wish I could do something for her. I wish I could do something for you.

Yes we are entitled to our bi-annual whine. I am aware that any condition, once it is there is with us forever. Even after being cured, cleansed, dried out. Similar to that of an alcoholic, they may well be dry but one drink could tip them over the edge again. So your man rubbing his hand on your tummy reminded you of your thoughts around your body and that kicked off the feelings.

I was told when I was 17 that I had an eating disorder, but I have since learnt that it was not, it was all my friends were doing to get into our graduation dresses, living off diet coke and cigarettes. An eating disorder is an illness, as you are aware.

How did he take this reaction of yours? Is it something that you have discussed with him? And also my love, this is not a whine, it is a serious subject and one that will have some very serious views and contributions.

Also, as an addendum, how will you deal with the weight gain? Will you want yourself to be back to the underweight you? Do you prefer the term underweight as to malnourished? Remember last year? With my swollen leg? I was terribly underweight and I was malnourished according to the doctor.

I don't know how far this has gone G, at all with you, clearly there is no cure, all one can do is hope that you are able to manage and recognise the triggers that set your mind racing as in last night and do something about it. I am sure you can.

Lots of love my darling Imma, I am thinking about this alot now.

Hey Imma

I don´t think it was such a secret. I had a feeling you might have a wee obsession by your posts. I´m a witch ya know!

Well you´ve had some good advice and kind words from the ladies as per usual, so I´m not sure what else I can add. I don´t know anybody with an eating disorder, all my friends are good eaters and all shapes and sizes. They are all generally happy, except for a few of us who would like to be a bit thinner, but that´s normal I think.

You don´t look particularly skinny in your photos and you probably have that lean body shape genetically. I couldn´t achieve that however hard I tried. The difference is I know that, and don´t yearn to be a shape I could never be.

Just don´t overdo it. You have a man who is happy with your shape, you are gorgeous.

Hello, Immanuelle!

If I understood right, you don’t like being told what to do. But it’s EU forum, and if you ventured out with some of your grieves, you are deemed to be told what to do, you like it or not.

So my sermon here: if “scientific” medical treatment has poor effect, you can try “unscientific” esoteric practices. They don’t always work, when they work the results show slowly, one has to be very patient and persistent. But when they work the effect lasts.

I also figured more or less, Imma, like Jan did. You jumped when Lago said you have a big butt..

Jan, I also tell my friend that she should appreciate what she has. She has also luscious hair and front like yours and such porcelain skin and a husband who loves her the way she is. And she is such great company and such supportive friend and I love her.

So Imma, don't worry. Your boyfriend will understand ..

Ah well, your recommendation to me Tulefel, when I was picking at my spot on my lip, worked!

Well… I’m glad for that, but it’s not esoteric, it’s just a common (in my life) practice. In “scientific” language it’s called “Hypertonic liquid” or some such. You can buy it at a pharmacy, but it’s easier to prepare it at home.

We are all witches here then!

Ama, I too have a close friend who is about the same size as your friend, although she doesn´t have my "front" as you say She is so beautiful, I look at her face and am in awe of her beauty.

She has the same problem finding clothes to fit, but she is happy and content, and as far as I know, never lets her plus size get her down. She certainly has plenty of male admirers.

It´s all about acceptance at the end of the day. We all have a God given body shape which we can change a little, but not a lot, unless we take drastic measures which cannot be a good thing.

Ahh bab. You deserve a medal. It truely takes alot to speak out abut such a thing..I should know...

I have same condition. Mine was caused/used as a way to feel as if I could actually control something in my life.. With abusive uncles and a verbally and physically abusive mother.. I was always told I was a worthless piece of crap.. At least with food, I could control how I looked and felt. And with always being told I am crap.. I believed it. So always wanted to be thinner. I honestly thought if really thin that was a good look. My mom would love me.... I would have days when all I wanted to do was eat, I thought it's ok, eat, then go vomit it up later and take plenty of laxitives........... I finally got myself together after having my first child. I was still conscious of weight and food. But I controlled IT, not other way round....Till I met my ex hubby and with him violence started - mum uncle thing all over again - So again I was thinking I was a worthless piece of crap. I felt as if I didn't even deserve to have my kids or to even live...I felt that bad about myself... I starved myself, to a point where i weighed 6 1/2 stone and my hair was falling out, I had a big bald patch right on top of my head....... My doctor, after visiting him about my fainting, put me on various medication, prozac was one but didn't agree with me, then we found one that suited - Citalopram...It deals with my depression and Body dysmorphic disorder. For several yrs now, I have been back in control, even rellished putting on the extra weight (wow I have boobies now!! LOL) But I do still have odd days where I think I am so over weight. I very rarely look at myself in mirror but when I do on a bad day all I see is someone the size of Pavarotti....

I truely understand what you are going through... And major respect to you.

The people in our lives do not always realize what deep grooves they cut into our souls. They think only about there own selves and do not care about the people they hurt. I am glad you got to the other side jojo. Strength for the future.

well my problem is that i see my self beautiful no mether how much weight i put on it is a problem to be honest...cant really realize that u look like wail and less motivation to loose weight.Get down to earth

Well that´s because you are beautiful Marki dear.

Tanx Jan but i do see this as problem.....

Marki I have a saying "A problem is only a problem if it can't be fixed"
so actually you don't have a problem

Thank you

I just tend to keep it hidden now, 'cos my kids are getting older and really don't need to be screwed up in the head and loopy like thier mom!!!


Marki - It is NOT a problem that you see yourself as you really are VERY BEAUTIFUL!

I wish I had just a tenth of what you have in confidence... My chap always says I am beautiful, but I don't/can't see it. I always think he is taking the piss when he says it!! I always change the subject. I am hoping in one way he doesn't read what I have wrote, cos he may well think I am totally loopy, but in another I hope he does read it, so he can understand me!!!!