Thank you so very much everybody for your good wishes....... tears are filling my eyes as I type.
I'm still kinda scared, but know I have to 'let go' of my own will to allow the professionals to help me.
I had a wonderful night out on Friday - I was the LAST person to arrive......... as the 'host' I should have been the first, but it was nice to see everybody already at the table to greet me.
Eight friends: a really nice German couple staying at the hotel, a retired Englishman who used to run his own hotel out here and his Gozitan wife, an Australian couple....... and two beautiful young ladies - one who gives me Shiatsu massages and a friend of her's who is visiting for 6 weeks who works in television film production............ the food was excellent, the band playing was great - and I had a few dances (but only with the German lady.......... oh well, can't win 'em all can I?)
This morning I had the choice - the Shaitsu massage lady is coming over at 9 a.m. to either give me a massage or help me with some personal admin as a friend. I'd love the massage, but the administration stuff is more important and I can't have both.
Tomorrow, before I go into hospital, I'm dropping into vodaphone to get a 'stick' to shove into my laptop thingy so I can sneakily check my mail in hospital when the nurses aren't looking - 'wifi' is new to me but apparently with a thingy shoved into the laptop I can use it almost anywhere in the world on a special 'roaming loonie rate'!
The Aussie friend will drive me into hospital and then borrow my car as his has died the final death...... he'll also drop by the villa and feed Timmy the cat every third day (heck if I am going into hospital that fat cat can damn well go on a diet and also miss me! Joking he'll feed her at least once per day!)
I hope they only keep me in two weeks, but if it takes longer so be it............ this is way too important to rush and i want to come out confident that I can handle situations where I used to lose control - or at least learn to walk away before things get out of hand!
Thanks again for all your good wishes.