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Kill him.

ASK WHY?

Show him the EXIT sign!

thats understanding. It only happened to me once in my second marriage. she told me. I didnt get angry. I understood I wasnt taking care of those needs. At the time we wernt getting along very well. I have trouble having sex with someone when we are constantly fighting aobut something. so I took it out on her in the bedroom several times a dy months on end I was suprised that she could even walk. I guess I showed her?

Pack his bags!!!!

Golly for you...those were the days

Dia duit Twin....

Why show him or her the exit door...?maybe there was under lying reasons for the transgression.

Put up with it for over 5 years for the sake of the family, and in the hope it was a phase, or that I could change things.

When the arguments started to affect the children, I pushed her into making a decision to stop spongeing off me and leave.

Funnily enough she was the angry one, blaming me for everything.

Should have just shown her the door the minute I found out !

In my case, she just got bored and was tempted by a smooth talking Italian who promised her the earth..... strangely enough, after nearly 2 years he still hasn't delivered.... not even left his wife yet !

Many women think Italians are such romantics, and yes they do have a good line in chat, which only seems to last until they get what they want..... sex, and no I'm not bitter..... releived for my childrens sake.

After 30 years together, (not a bad innings) boredom and familiarity sets in, which could I guess be a subject for another post.... how to keep it alive for so long. Probably been done already though !

Dia dhuit Phoenix....

I would show him the door because I believe that as adults, with a committment to a relationship, one should speak to his/her partner about what's not working for him/her in the relationship FIRST. Once someone cheats, trust is never the same, and for me, it cannot be salvaged.

...But surely trust can be given back...with time...

There is much more to it than simply the issue of trust (as in one saying he/she won't do it again). Goes way deeper than that.

Thats something along the lines to what i said in my OP...maybe there was other reasons for the 'cheating'...maybe there was no sexual contact, communication break-down...It's not always because someone is a serial cheater....

And as for the trust bit..if you loved the person and they loved you back then the trust issue can be sorted...

What I meant is that it goes beyond trust, in these sense of how the one cheated-on feels. In retrospect of lies etc...and the act itself, makes the victim feel like they are *nothing*, self esteem falls below 0. Cheating is a total disrespect to the partner, there is no VALID reason in my eyes for hurting anybody in that way.

**If one TRULY loved a person and was loved back**, words AND actions, then they would NOT cheat on the other. It is NEVER the solution. It is simply a selfish act.

Some might disagree, but that's how I see it.

when you are in a realtionship it takes two. things go wrong, it isn't always just the others falt. usually both people play a part in it. At least thats how I viewd things in my early 30's

It is always possible that the person cheated on his/her partener because they felt '0' in the relationship...They where made to feel like nothing. Maybe the other person was abusive to them, insulted them...An the 'cheater' did so (cheated) out of revenge...

Oops hit the wrong button.

It is possible yes. But why cheat? If someone is treating the other so bad, they can just LEAVE the relationship. Adultery as REVENGE is NEVER going to fix a relationship. And in that case, there would not have been one anyway. A person who loves would not abuse, insult and mistreat their loved one.

I dont know...apart from biting him.