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[quote=rusty_knight]'I am General Von Adolphus Antonius Muchios Gracias Antiquarius'
Suddenly, with one accord, 'the gang' shouted:

'BUGGER OFF!'

The Generalisimo was not amused and decided to show his anger by firing his water cannon on them! He pressed the button to activate the system and one could hear the power of pumps as the water cannon was prepared for action.

He pressed the 'FIRE WATER CANNON' button, but all that 'shot out' was a tiny little dribble of fluid..................

The Gang knew, they knew for sure, that the "Generalisimo" was none other than Awful Antonious Antcus - The Terror of Maltese Traffic Cops - and wanted in all the Maltese towns for never having paid his parking tickets for his Half-Track!

Unknown to Awful A. Antcus, the Wily Wizard of Australius had replaced the water in his canon with over-ripe tomatoes, hoping to reap many litres of Ketchup, but Awful A. Antcus had forgotten to service his water-pump because he was too busy making love all night to his girlfriend, and so the tomatoes lay congealing and producing great quantities of methane gas in the water tank - where one night they would explode with an almighty bang whilst Awful Antcus lay exhausted and paralysed in his bed after a night of connubial bliss.

CHAPTER 49

Meanwhile, back in Zurich City, Super Spy Cherscic had arrived dressed in her Spy Outfit of black and orange striped leggings, thigh high black leather boots with stilleto heels, silver lamé mini skirt, diamanté studded Bustier bra-top, and was wearing her Dolly Parton wig and make-up, so as to blend in with the crowds she wore her luminous scarlet ankle length Spy Coat with the waist high split in the back, and slinking along the High Street she searched for the famous Starbucks Coffee Shop which was the regular meeting place for all Spy Activities.

Behind her trailed Jacko the Jackal and Angel-faced Angie, both dressed completely in black, and hand-cuffed together so they didn`t get lost in the crowds. "There she is!" cried Jacko, and darted accross the street, pulling Angie off her feet and dragging her over the road on her bum, and up over the opposite pavement .

None of them noticed Manolito and his Moll Mary (WHO is this Mary?) cruising along slowly in the Red Ferrari, keeping all three in front in their view.

And behind all of them was HRH Queen Smoky on her bicycle! "Ha ha haaaagggggghh ha he" coughed the Mighty Queen as she spat her cigarette butt into the gutter "Bet they all don`t know that I know where they all are!" and paused to roll another cigarette.

......................................................
Next episode: Will they all find each other? Wot will happen when they do? Will they find the secret jewels in the Bank?.....and WHO will find them first?

Why nobody like this story? I think it is just so exciting! Okay so I bring in a few more characters......


Now we got LusciousLips and CraftyCristina, the Ebony Sisters, Super Spies Supremo ... who had bugged the tables of the Starbucks Coffee Shop... for they knew exactly what was about to happen!

Whilst Despot Don Conrad sat sipping his GrosseKaffeeLatte and wiping the creamy froth from his beard, the two sisters had him in their clear view, from their tiny table in the corner. Concealed in their hairdos were powerful antennae, and in their rings were transmitters wherewith they informed the Wizard of Australis of exactly what takes place in this subterfuge.

In burst Cherscic and made straight for the bearded Despot, before she could utter a word, in burst Jacko, with Angie still being dragged along by the handcuffs, by this time she had passed out due to having her head banged in the automatic doors that Jacko forgot closed behind him and when he kicked them he hit her head by mistake, being the only part of her body that had made it thru the doors.

Then in burst HRH Queen Smoky on her bicycle, skidding to a halt at Despots table. "Ah ha! Gotcha!" she cried before bursting into an awful coughing fit "Ahhhgggghhh ha he hgggg!".

Up jumped Lusciouslips and CraftyCristina and stormed over to the table, having released the safety catches on their automatic weapons but keeping them concealed in the hope of coercing this band of greedy capitalists to release the secret bank code to them, so that they could re-cover the cache of precious jewels with which they intended to use to open a Wildlife Refuge in Australia for all the endangered African Elephants about to be culled.

Just then the waitress arrived with a Black Forest Gataeu Cake "Is this the Birthday Party Table?" she asked, placing the cake on the table.$

---

Puhleeeeese somebody continue this story?!

there was a sudden fasssh!!!!!- poof!!!---ribbit ribbit
- the wizard loved blackforest cake

Ah thank you Cuspo, for coming to the rescue! Tonight I am exhausted from being dragged thru major shopping centres all day by my friend in the search for "the perfect gift" ..... and just popped in here to check out that you are all well ... tomorrow, depending on how the story twists, I shall be with you all again ...maybe .... and we can see what secrets the Blackforest cake holds!

have you ever seriously considered taking up writing smoky?

I have a feeling you'd excell

One thing is for sure,the Code is NOT in the Schwarzwaelder Torte,and if they find one,it's another Counterfeit one,like the one they're in Hot Pursuit of right now.
I can hear Don Conrad laughing in his Lair in East-Zurich:Foiled again,you will never get those Numbers;Never Never Never!

--- ah! the secret code revealed!
three nevers equal --- implosion
--- dont eat the cake - dont leave it "Out in the blackforest Acid Rain

--- guard it with your life lest it fall into the wrong hands and seal our fate
--- the end of human life as we know it

Ok, i'll pick up the glove... but YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED about this...


soooo,
…everyone laughed at the Great White Cusp-o-Wizard’s words as no one could even remotely picture that tall, elegant, well-behaved, quiet and ladylike witchy-witty-Smokes (WWS) as the mother of all evil. Albeit, how wrong they all were as the Great White Cusp-o-Wizard was actually on to something he couldn’t exactly pinpoint at the time but would prove to be far more destructive than anyone could imagin…

Patched-eyed-Manolito -Müller-Schmid’s thoughts swelled and swirled around this realization he was just making, while still driving the witchy-witty-smokes red Ferrari on the freeway, keeping his one good eye alternating between the road diminishing under the borrowed vehicle at a pace of 150mph and the cigarette he was trying to roll with some stale tobacco he found in the glove compartment, where it rested along with a stunning assortment of torture equipment. He also had heard the words of the Great White Wizard but things wouldn’t just line up. He knew that something terrible was going to happen up in the Transylvanian Mountains but he couldn’t just tie it together yet!

A chilling revelation suddenly overtook him as Twinnie-the-Pooh, who was sitting next to him all this time uttered:
“But why on earth would Queen Withy Witty Smokes have the Arabs kidnap you of all people, just doesn’t make sense to me!”
Actually, there were two realizations at the moment: obviously his wife, Mary-the-Moll had gotten off the red Ferrari back in Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad’s lair to go check at their son who had an accident about 7 pages ago and that gave ample time to Twinnie-the-Pooh to get in the car with him. That was a pleasant discovery at the time because Twinnie-the-pooh was renowned throughout the kingdom for her wits and capacity to over-simplify complicated matters into 1 sentence. But what really shook him was the brain-emulsifying memory of his days in captivity, where he distinctly remembered that in-between the torture sessions he had met the only other captive at the Queens Camp: Phd-MBA-ACCA-CSI-ABSE-Dr Von-Munichen-Texabauer.

Icy shivers shook his stature as he pondered on this: If Queen witchy-witty-Smokes plans had indeed been to transform all MANkind into genetically modified men that could be toilet trained and do the washing up and do the gardening and even, if she could pull it off, boil an egg just the way she liked and serve it in bed wearing just a white short apron, then WHY in the world would she have kidnapped Phd-MBA-ACCA-CSI-ABSE-Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer, second only to none other than Einstein himself on nuclear and quantum physics? It didn’t make any sense, other than the feeling of something terrible about to happen to the Castle he, himself had bought for her… Lost in his thoughts he just couldn’t see where the sadden smack came from when Twinnie-the-pooh, who had been bitching for a while about his smoking in the car, slapped him on his forehead…

While all of this was taking place, hundreds of miles away, up high on the steepest peak of Transylvania, a sinister, dark laughter was echoing through the night. It was none other than Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad who was finally seeing his plan come together: He finally had Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer AND the secret codes to put his plans into motion: Together with Baroness Forev-Er-Young, all they had to do was torture the good doctor into doing their evil biding. Normally, them being of a milder temperament, they might have had a problem with that. But in their wisdom of their shortcomings, they had already employed the services of Awfull-Antonius-Antus – The so called Terror of Maltese Traffic Cops – and for good reason. A.A. Antcus was already seeking revenge after the recent fiasco with his water cannon. You see, he thought it was the Great White Willy Wizard that was behind the overripe tomato farce and he was eager to extract his revenge on the wizards good friend, Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer. The fact that it was actually Jesterum-Heinzen-Ketchapsen that had pulled his trick on him – with the aid of Uli-the-baltic-beauty who had a secret crush on him at the time, had been carefully concealed by the Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad as so to use him for his evil doing on the good Doctor…

Meanwhile, back at the Sturbacks spy cafe, everybody was getting sick of just sitting there, watching the Willy Wizard making out with Princess Acro of Baleno, who had just stopped by to get some love potions she so dearly needed for her benevolent spells. They knew they had to do something, but what? Marivanna-the-russian-spy was no more, so they couldn’t extract any information off her. She had been reduced to no more than a red dot on someone’s pavement!
-“Lets call Evil-Lagoona-cisk-gulper on the radio, he is the boss after all, he must know something about what’s going on” Said Jacko-the-Jackal as he straggled to keep Angel-faced-Angie from strangling him for dragging her all the way and completely ruining her brand new Gucci spy-Purse and Prada mini skirt. His sentence had hardly finished yet before Casablanca-Chersic cut him off:
“We can’t call him. He has been AWOL/MIA since he went undercover last week for that super-duper-no-one-talks-about-top-secret-mission code named “cherry popping””
Jacko-the-Jackal would have none of it. For he also, like Patched-eyed-Manolito -Müller-Schmid, knew that something was about to happen up in the Transylvanian mountains. Why else would smelly-fart-womble try to confuse everybody by insisting on Rhodope Mountains when everybody knows that that’s in Bulgaria? There was surely something smelly going on here as it was a known fact to all that smelly-fart-womble was on Dark Lord Don-Cor-Rad’s payroll; and he sided with Queen-witchy-witty-Smokes, didn’t he? Those were questions to which the answers would shock and awe everyone involved in this story…

Jacko-the-Jackal didn’t even let Casablanca-Chersic finish her last word. There was no time to be lost; things had gotten very grave to second-guess his decisions. Besides, he had Evil-Lagoona-cisk-gulper’s secret emergency number and the “cherry-popping” operation could surely wait for something that could potentially blow up the whole world. Before anyone realised what was going on, not only had he called him, but Evil-Lagoona was already there with his military-snatched highly sophisticated top of the notch helicopter, wearing his usual back and white attire – mega size beer mug always included - and waiting for the rest of his crew to get aboard so they could set out to Queen-witchy-witty-smoke’s castle in the Transylvanian high mountains. Amongst them, they had half the story straightened out. The only fact they were oblivient to, was Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer’s involvement…

Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer had been into some pioneer research about some tiny particles called “Tachyons” – about one gazillionth of the size of an atom – that seemed to roam the universe in large quantities and the reason they hadn’t been discovered yet was because unlike any other matter, they didn’t have any mass and they traveled at speeds far exceeding the speed of light! He made his mind-blowing discovery one day when while he was messing around with all the fusion stuff in his laboratory, suddenly there was a lighting hit on one of his huge antennas! As he came to realize later that evening, apparently the massive electric discharge allows for the Tachyons to momentarily slow down enough to be observed in time, thus, theoretically, projecting an image of the immediate future – or past – if there was a way to print them somehow.

That’s where the Great White Willy Wizard had made his biggest mistake and his most amazing observation at the same time: Queen-witchy-witty-smokes wasn’t interested in Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer’s knowledge on implosion! What would she do if she blew up the whole world and reduced it into a big fat ugly black hole? What she was really interested about was the Dr’s Tachyon knowledge: Just imagine being able to employ and apply those theories in stopping some tachyons and printing their outcome! She could see tomorrows paper and the lottery winning numbers! Who cares about genetically modified men that could be toilet trained and do the washing up and do the gardening and even boil an egg just the way she liked and serve it in bed wearing just a white short apron, when using this knowledge she would rather win 10 million Euros in the Lotto!

With her Arab connections she had managed to snatch Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer and by aligning with Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad, she had also secured the necessary pringled codes for deciphering the slowed down Tachyons and printing their projection of the future in a simple photograph! The careful and meticulous planning was beginning to bear red ripe juicy fruits! Even Jesterum-henzeken-Ketchapsen was beginning to feel excited as dark, menacing clouds gathered high above the Transylvanian Mountains…

As Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer had explained to the Evil gang, tachyons travel at different speeds – all exceeding the speed of light. By discharging a heavy load of electric energy, they could be slowed down and printed using the codes. That would assume that the higher the discharge, the more the slowdown would be and thus, further into the future they could see. Rusty-Busty the Vice Pimple of Gozodium was in charge of the discharge lever. They were all there waiting for the fun to start, Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer supervising all the sophisticated details no one else understood, Baroness Forev-Er-Young and Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad supervising each other and Queen-witchy-witty-smokes sitting by the printer awaiting for the results…

“Hit it Vice Pimple” Shouted Queen-witchy-witty-smokes to the other end of the room where Rusty-Busty was playing with his rusty broken lever. 1 minute later, sure enough, there was the first printout. But something wasn’t quite right about it… it only had sketched dark, obscure figures on it… Wittily enough Queen-witchy-witty-smokes checked her wrist watch: It was 3:30 am, another 2 hours to sun rising…

“Hit it again Vice Pimple; And this time double the electric load, will ya!” she shouted. Her will be done, 1 minute later there it was, another printout, a much clearer one, showing the sun rising over the majestic mountains and throwing his sweet rays over the dark castle, as well as over a nearby village. There was something else also in the picture, something like a crow flying in the sky, far in the horizon… But the printer definition wasn’t all that good for her to make out exactly what it was...

Suddenly, there was a big explosion in an adjacent room and all power went out. “What is it, what is it” screamed Rusty-Busty, the Vice Pimple of Gozodium in awe! Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer raced to the room to check if everything was ok with his much beloved machinery. Luckily, not much harm had been done for it was simply Queen-witchy-witty-smoke’s room-large computer that she had snatched around 1963 from NASA and it had just blown a fuse.
“I shall have it fixed within the hour” exclaimed Dr Von-Munichen-Texanbauer as the first shy light of day was breaking away in the dark horizon.

“Lets go for the third try, try to up it a notch this time Vice Pimple of my Kingdom to be” shouted the Queen as soon as everything was in working order again. The next picture was somewhat of a puzzle to her: The sun had hardly moved from his previous position – indicating that this picture was but a little time forward than the previous one. But the most puzzling bit of information it depicted was that little village, just a few miles down the steep slopes of her mountain, viewable with naked eye from where she stood, completely engulfed in what seemed to be a gigantic explosion! This couldn’t be right! Why would wee wee George want to nuke that peaceful little village anyway? And it didn’t seem like a nuke either, just a gigantic explosion that seemed to have destroyed the whole village! Also, that black crow wasn’t visible any more but a fancy red Ferrari had appeared parked right outside her castle! How strange indeed!

“Take it up a couple of more notches Vice Pimple, there’s something fishy going on here for sure” shouted Queen-witchy-witty-smokes as she waited impatiently for her printout. Suddenly, there was a total power failure, complete darkness, a lot of noise fuss and general commotion. 3 minutes later, when the power had been restored, a lot of things had changed in the room. Patched-eyed-Manolito -Müller-Schmid and Twinnie-the-pooh had kicked down the door and invaded the castle, determined to stop the Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad and his gang right in their tracks. By sheer coincidence, at the same minute Evil-Lagoona-cisk-gulper’s team was mounting an air born assault and coming through the windows of the castle. In that rare moment in time, they were all there! Vice Pimple Busty-Rusty knew he had been busted. Soon, the Dark Lord Don-Con-Rad and his mistress Baroness Forev-Er-Young realized that they were no match for highly trained killers such as Angel-Faced-Angie and Casablanca-Chersic and they too, where giving up. But what about Queen-witchy-witty-smokes? Everyone’s eye side cornered the room for she was nowhere to be seen…

“HERE” shouted Patched-eyed-Manolito -Müller-Schmid as he was the first to notice Queen-witchy-witty-smokes lying on the cold ground, phenomenally having passed out behind an upturned desk, still holding the final printout in her hands…

“But this makes no sense! No sense at all!” said baffled Twinnie-the-pooh as she ripped the printout out of the stoned and fainted Queens hands. Everyone gathered around to see for themselves: Sure enough, there was the castle. The sun was at about the same height as in the previous one; and the red Ferrari was still parked outside the castle. But the little village was now gone from the image! In its place, stood a huge crater of scorned earth and loose debris still in flames. It didn’t make any sense, any sense at all! Nor did the huge ball of flame coming down from the sky and headed directly for the castle made any sense in that picture…

Suddenly, a horrible hissing noise screeched across their awkward silence and everybody’s head turn to the large medieval castle window, from where they could only but observe the little village reduced to nothing more but a large crater by the collision of a huge meteorite…


And that’s all that happened on that cold winter day.
Geez!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn,that sure ended with a Cosmic Cataclysm

....or did it?

Well,"On A Cold Winter Day-The Movie" will probably be next.

hahaha, i thought nowone would have the tenacity to read through it all once i had finished

"welcome to CS"

Yeah well only here would you find a blockbuster novel, with many authors and real live characters!

Should that be the end? Or does the saga continue?

Then Spring arrived.Winter? In with a bang,out with a whimper.

And so a new day dawned and Queen Smokes proved the old adage that there is no Smoke without fire,for she had fire in her belley...

TBC